Lundagin mo, baby!

A couple days ago, I saw a button pin from Atenista friends. It says “Lundagin mo, beybeh”. It was apparently made by college students as a reminder of the popular line from a well-loved Philosophy teacher in Ateneo.

“Lundagin mo, baby!”

I’ve heard that line before. I can’t remember when or who said it. But it always reminds me of Rico J. Puno and Dina Bonevie. I really don’t know why.

I did some internet research and I found out that this was a very popular phrase back in the 60’s, popularized by a DJ, Johnny De Leon.

Lundagin is from the root word, lundag, which means to jump.

Jump: To spring off the ground or other base by a muscular effort of the legs and feet.

It entails effort since the aim is to spring off the ground. So jumping is not just regular everyday activity. It involves energy and will to lift oneself off the ground. Therefore, if one is not willing to expend energy, one cannot take off. In short, mag-effort ka, kapatid!

Jump: To move suddenly and in one motion

It means moving with speed. You cannot jump in slow motion, that’ll defy the laws of gravity. So when jumping, it has to be quick, fast and precise. Therefore, pag babagal-bagal ka, maiiwan ka sa kangkungan.

Jump: To move involuntarily, as in surprise

Like a hunter, you have to take the victim by surprise. Grab it suddenly, leaving it no other choice but to give in. Jumping involves an element of shock and astonishment. In short, kailangan may gulpe-de-gulat.

So what does ‘Lundagin mo, baby’ really mean? It means jumping out suddenly, and with a lot of effort from our comfort zones. Much like bunjee jumping, it entails taking risks, and letting go of our fears. It means not being afraid to lose control and be vulnerable.

So whatever it is that we want to jump into – a new career, relationships, commitment – remember to make the jump as high and as lively as possible.

Carpe diem! Sieze the day!

Jump and jump high!

Lundagin mo, beybeh!


07:20 pm
19 December 2008
Santiago City

Wish ko

I've gotten mails and messages from friends which contains their xmas wish list. So I'm making my own.

1. My very own personal Thai masseuse. Or gift certificates (2 massages in a month, for 1 whole year) for an authentic Thai massage.

2. A new Mac Book

3. New Canon lenses for my camera

4. External flash (Canon, please)

5. Extra memory card for Canon (it's not the regular-sized SD card)

6. Trip to Easter Island

7. One year supply (1 Liter per week) of Green Tea-flavored Sugar Free Ice Cream (brand Big Scoop, preferred)

8. A new external hard drive (160gb or higher)

9. A home entertainment system

10. Credit card balance write-off


Got it?

Merry xmas!


12:15pm
11 December 2008
Thursday
Fairview, Quezon City

Termina-lovely

*free-writing, muli*

I don't usually like airports, especially since I have had some bad experiences with some -- lost baggage, red eye transit time, almost 1 day transit/stops, rude personnel, boring or dirty facilities, etc.

But I think that I will never get tired of Changi Airport in Singapore. It is one of the busiest airports in the world and is an important passenger hub.

Changi has made its mark as a benchmark for service excellence, having received over 280 awards in a 20-year period from 1987 to 2007. Just for last year, it won 19 Best Airports awards!

I would personally vote for Changi given the chance to be in one of those awards committee. I love Changi! Not for its infinite shopping opportunities or gastronomical options, but because of its facilities for weary travelers like me.

Today, I have 5 hrs to spend here in Changi. My flight from Penang has a stop-over in Changi. And I am not complaining at all!

Here's a list of the things I did to kill the time
1. Made artwork using Changi's free stencil art. I will post photos of my artworks soon.
2. Went to the toilet more than 3 times. I am a sucker for clean toilets
3. Accessed free wifi at their lazy boy lounge (which also had large flat screen tv, and individualized speakers in the lazy boys).
4. Watched re-runs of Friends.
5. Registered for a free 3-year wifi access account.
6. Charged my phone and laptop through their free charging bays.
7. Rode the Sky Train going to Terminal 3, Changi's new posh terminal.
8. Went around T3.
9. Watched a free movie at their Transit Cinema.
10. Got a copy of Changi's free magazine.
11. Bought chocolates -- sugar free, dark italian chocolates, Reeses (xmas tree shaped) and a big assorted pack of chocolates (which I am devouring now as I write).
12. Bought my favorite perfume.
13. Took photos of huge Mickey and Minnie Mouse figures -- the magic of Disney is in Changi!.
14. Went to the Oasis -- a haven for weary travelers.

I am now lazily laying in lounge chair, accessing free wifi and eating chocolates. Lovely! What more can I ask for? Saan ka pa?!

I love Changi!


4:30 pm
07 December 2008 (Sunday)
Changi Airport, Singapore

Shoot from the gut

Shoot – verb. to capture, to fire (…a camera)
Gut – adj. of, relating to, or arising from one's mental or spiritual being


I’ve previously written an entry about having what it takes to be a photographer. I said in that entry, “Do you have what it takes?”.

What makes a good photographer? Is it the camera one is holding? Or maybe having a beautiful and photogenic subject in front of you?

One photo-hobbyist so aptly put into words… one just needs to “shoot from the gut”.

It’s not in the camera, gadgets or the subjects. It’s in one’s passion, commitment and dedication to capture the soul of a person, place or situation. Sabi nila, wala yan sa pana.

This is exactly what the group, Flickristasindios, have proven. They shoot from the gut, freezing moments and capturing beauty, sorrow, terror, ecstasy or agony.

On December 15, 2008, Flickristasindios will have their very first photo exhibit at the Cinema Level of the Trinoma Mall. Entitled THE INDIOS EXPERIENCE, it will showcase the photos of the group. Ms. Daphne Osena will formally open the exhibit.

These photographers have shot from their gut. In this exhibit, they will bare their souls. Come and celebrate with them life’s beauty, sorrow, terror, ecstasy and agony.

Flickristasindios link:

http://www.flickr.com/groups/flckristasindios/

(The group is looking for establishments who are willing to make x-deals with them for the opening of the exhibit. They are also asking for assistance from media friends to cover the said event.)


6:25 pm
26 November 2008
Wednesday
Fairview

Screening

Someone once told me, "Why do you always hold back?". My answer was, "I do not!".

But that same night, while I lay in bed, I assessed all the situations and relationships I've had. Only to finally realize that I do hold back. I hold out and resist to things, therefore making them non-spontaneous and painfully difficult.

I don't know why, and I can't even fathom when I started doing this. But one thing is for sure, I do hold back.

I screen my calls coming in through my landline. I have caller ID. So unless you tell me that you are calling, or unless I am familiar with the number flashing in the phone monitor, I won't pick up.

I have gazilion of pending invites from acquaintances in various social networking sites -- facebook, flickr, multiply, friendster, and other sites that I don't even bother to open. If I don't feel that you've been part of my life in any way, I don't see any reason for adding you in my network.

I don't give out my first name to guys (and generally to people) I meet in bars or parties. I usually give out my second name, Grace. They can google me all they want, and they will end up with a thousand hits of the name 'Grace'.

The same is true for my mobile number. I usually give out my Globe number to people who have the tendency to become bothersome or demanding. It's easier to ignore text messages and calls. I can always make an excuse that I don't check that line regularly (which is actually true).

I don't usually say 'I love you' to people I love -- whether friends, or lovers or family. My argument is that if they feel the same way, they will know how I feel about them.

I admit... I screen. I hold back. I resist.

I don't know when I'll stop screening, holding back or resisting. The truth is, I'm not even sure if I want to.


10:40 pm
20 November 2008
Thursday
Santiago City

Little Big Man

Today was a very interesting day for me.

A good friend asked me to join her in the launching of a music video of Lupang Hinirang. This very touching music video is about a boy who stumbled upon a small paper flag of the Philippines. The kid starts climbing a flag pole, and towards the end of the anthem, plants the little flag on top of the flag pole.

This slow version of the national anthem was sung by the Loboc Children’s Choir, and was directed by Mae Paner, a well known theater artist.

It was a touching video, accompanied with the angelic voices of the Loboc choir. It actually gave me goose bumps.

But this experience was nothing to the experience of finally meeting, shaking hands and posing for a picture with THE Jun Lozada.

On tv, he looks frail and small. But in person, he is not as tiny and wimpy as he registers on the boob tube. He was very friendly and accommodating. He readily said yes to our request to have our photos taken with him. He even retorted, “Sige, magpa-picture na tayo habang nasa labas pa ako. Baka ipakulong na nila ako eh.”

It’s a great day, to have finally met the BIG MAN. In my book, he belongs to the league of exceptional gentlemen – brave, committed and with integrity.


6:40 pm
10 November 2008
Monday
Mocha Blends (Teachers’ Village)
*free wifi, yehey!*

Dialogue

Here are some amusing exchanges. They may be factual, or may just be the product of my over-active imagination.

Dialogue # 1:
Juan: (whispers in her ear) I love you.
Juana: Chika!
(Kung di ka ba naman tanga. “I love you, too” ang dapat sagot!)

Dialogue # 2:
While inside a car, rain pouring outside, after a drinking spree, days before his wedding…
Pedro: Makakahanap ka din ng taong magmamahal sa iyo. Someone deserving of your love.
Petra: *sob* *iyak* *ngawa* *bumabaha ang luha*
(Eh girl, ano pa nga ba ang pwede mong sabihin? Umatungal ka na lang.)

Dialogue # 3:
Jane: Alam mo, crush kita dati.
John: Sana sinabi mo. Hindi ko man lang naramdaman.
(As if naman maibabalik pa ang nakaraan. Sows!)

Dialogue # 4:
Michael: You’re the only who truly knows me.
Michelle: Ah… eh…Talaga!? *disbelief*
(Koya, obvious ba, hindi ka type ni ate.)

Dialogue # 5:
Gelo: Bakit di ka pa nag-aasawa?
Gela: Mauna ka muna.
(In reality, ang gusting sabihin ng hitad… “dahil hinihintay kita”.)



10:35 pm
28 October 2008
Fairview

Enough!

*another free writing exercise*

Tonight, I say... enough!

This moment marks the end.

This is where I draw the line.

I say, leave me alone and let me be!

You are nothing more than a useless thought, so get out of the inner recesses of my brain.

I will not be swayed, and I say this with finality...

I purge you out of my system.

Good riddance.


12:50am
23 October 2008
Thursday
Fairview

free writing

it's a sunday, and i dedided to write anything and everything that comes to mind. no editing whatsoever. except for the typographical editing that needs to be done, lest i be accused of being stupid.

my former boss used to tell us that the best form of writing exercise (and also for exercising you mind) is by doing free-writing, like what i'm doing now. he said, "just write, about anything that comes to mind. don't think about how it will sound, or if it's even comprehesible. just write!"

he's a really brilliant lawyer and writer and speaker, so i guess he must have done this in the past. so i'm doing it now. not because i want to be like him, nor i want to surpass all his legal credentials. i just want to write... because... i want to write about things which are not really coherent, or may not make sense, or may just sound plain crazy to you.

so what do i want to discuss first... ah yes, about cyber stalking.

a couple of months ago, i was chatting with a high school friend who's based in the US. i asked him what he was doing. he said that he's waiting for his wife to pick him up from his workplace. while waiting for her, he's cyber stalking all his past flames. he said that he has found some really interesting info (and photos, too) of his past loves/interests/flames.

that's what i've done for the past hour, or should i say, hours. i've searched the internet (using almost all search enginges, and all possible search techniques) to find all information about my latest obsession (don't worry, i'll discuss this topic next). i found out some juicy bits of information about him and his family. i won't say that i was happy of what i've learned. i think i was more scared of my capacity to stalk someone, albeit only cyberwise (is that even a word?). i'm beginning to scare myself! Herlich, this is your fault! you gave me really crazy ideas.

anyways, this guy that i'm stalking... he doesn't really fit the usual profile of guys that i like. this guy is older, much older (ok, ok.... waaaayyyy older) than the guys i've dated. he's mature, funny, smart, successful, dignified, soft-spoken, composed, accomplished and really really nice.

you remember the movie, Autumn in New York? he reminds me so much of Richard Gere, i swear, he's so cute. he actually looks younger than his real age. he looks 10 years younger than he really is. to you (let's call him Richard), sir Richard... if you read this, it only means that you like me enough to google my name and read by blog. uyyy, like mo din ako no? stalker ka din! hehehe.

don't worry, people, i passed the "half-his-age-plus-seven" rule. they say that in order to have a meaningful relationship with someone older, you must not be less than "half-his-age-plus-seven".

heniways, i'm so excited to read this entry. i wonder if it'll make sense. i'm sure most of you will email or text or call me and tell me that i'm crazy. but i don't care. i'm Winona. she got Richard. she stole from a store. she served time (she did, right?). she's a branded a kleptomaniac. but she's still famous! life is unfair!


10:59 pm
September 28, Sunday
Santiago City, Isabela

Choices… choices

Inspired by my previous blog enty, Boylet (link: http://bampira-ako.blogspot.com/2006/02/boylet.html), I have been mulling about this question lately…

“Would I rather date/go into a relationship with a boylet (say, a guy 10 years my junior), or have a may-december love affair with a mature and much older guy (15 or more years my senior?”

Now, I am actually leaning more on the latter choice.

Ikaw, I want to know your thoughts…


02:10 pm
17 September 2008
Holiday Inn
Clark, Pampanga

The Net

You remember this movie…The Net?

This 1995 movie, which stars Sandra Bullock (I love her!) illustrates the types of problems that can come up if a person’s private information falls into the wrong hands. Angela Bennett (Bullock) fell victim to identity theft as her personal information and key identity data were stolen and used in order to exchange her identity with another.

Although the plot of this movie seems fantastic and far-fetched, identity theft in the internet is a serious and common problem that occurs frequently in real life.

I had 2 Indian colleagues (1 is an awarded independent film maker, and the other one is a very respected grassroots activist) who had their email accounts spammed. They were both using yahoo accounts for several years. A couple of months ago, I received separate email messages from both their addresses confessing that they are sex addicts. Of course, it turned out to be a case of email hacking.

Another pinay friend couldn’t access her email account after her break up with her most recent ex. We firmly believe that the good-for-nothing-jerk has his dirty hands involved in this freak accident.

That is why yesterday, I was in a state of shock when both my yahoo accounts could not be accessed! I tried punching in my password several times, but to no avail!

I wanted to cry! My heart stopped beating. My mind was racing, trying to recall all the important document and information stored in my email accounts. Everything is there – from passwords, to birthdays, to important personal documents, work outputs, contact details of friends, heck… even secret stories and juicy gossip and intrigues.

I tried the last solution that I could think of… I shut down my laptop and waited for 5 minutes, then turned it on again.

As the familiar windows OS display was flashing in my screen, I think I’ve called on all the saints that I knew of. I was begging them to save my email account. That was one of the very few times that I prayed that hard.

And I guess I must have done something good in my childhood, because yahoo finally accepted my password! Jos lord! Salamat ng marami!

This made me think again how our lives (well, at least mine) are so dependent on the virtual space we call the Internet. I remember 15 years ago, this was not the case at all. We can still get in touch with our friends just by landline phonecalls or even messages thru the pager, or even the good ol’ snail mail.

We can work for 8 hours a day even without an internet. Now I feel paralyzed at work without checking my mails.

We have let the Internet take over our lives. Children play internet and computer games instead of the traditional taguan and tumbang preso. Friends send virtual messages and hugs through facebook, yahoo and friendster, instead of talking over coffee. Family members write to each other using the electronic mail, and thus fail to memorize the strokes of their relatives’ handwriting.

Hay… we are really living in a virtual world.

Sometimes, I think of what might happen if the Internet collapses. Is there no end to the vastness of this virtual space? How much more gigabytes of information can it hold? Is there a possibility that someday, it will just explode like a big balloon? What happens to all those information?


To end this problematic blog entry, I would like to quote Angela Bennett:
“Our whole world is sitting there on a computer. It's in the computer, everything: your, your DMV records, your, your social security, your credit cards, your medical records. It's all right there. Everyone is stored in there. It's like this little electronic shadow on each and everyone of us, just, just begging for someone to screw with, and you know what? They've done it to me, and you know what? They're gonna do it to you.”

Hala… kaya ingat!


08:55pm
11 September 2008
Santiago City, Isabela

Blue’s Clues

I remember years ago that I used to watch this very amusing children’s show on ABC 5. It’s called Blue’s Clues. It’s a children's show about a dog named Blue. The series follows Blue through her everyday life, providing small children with fun and education.


The game of Blue's Clues begins near the beginning of the episode, when the Steve asks Blue a question. Blue responds by jumping at the screen and marking it with a blue pawprint, which is a sign that Blue wants to answer Steve’s question by playing Blue's Clues. Steve, with the help of the audience (who are constantly spoken to and asked questions by Steve), then searches the house for Blue's 3 clues. Along the way, Steve speaks with other residents of the house, often characters based on inanimate objects such as a side-table drawer, a salt shaker, and a mailbox. After all three have been found, Steve sits in his "thinking chair" and puts the 3 clues together, using a pen and the handy-dandy notebook, to form a central image. This image is the answer to Steve’s original question, which goes along the lines of "What does Blue want to do today?"


From 1996 to 2002, Blue's owner was Steve, a non-animated character played by Steven Burns. When Burns chose to leave the show, the character Steve went off to college and his younger brother Joe (played by Donovan Patton) moved in to take care of Blue.

A lot of kids love this show. And one of these kids is Summer, my lovely 5-year old niece. Last month, while we were watching re-runs of the show (I heard they stopped airing already), she was also doodling and drawing on her writing pad, which is basically several pieces of scratch bond paper stapled together to look like a drawing pad.

In the middle of the Blue’s Clues episode, she said, “Tita, di ba we should use scratch paper to save trees? Why is Steve and Joe not using the back page of their handy dandy notebook?”.

I felt proud that this little girl knew about loving the environment. It felt really good knowing that we’ve influenced her to think critically. So I told her to write to Steve and Joe. And below is her letter:

“dear Steve and Joe,

I’m always watching Blues clues and I noticed that you are not using the back page of your handy dandy notebook. Please write at the back to save paper.

Love, Summer”


She told me to send it to Steve and Joe. But before giving me her scratch pad paper, she told me, “Maybe they don’t know who I am.”. But I told her that it’s fine. She should just introduce herself.

I was surfing the net for the email address of the producers of Blue’s Clues. But since they’re off the air already, I can’t find any email address. Although the show’s off the air already, we still would like to send it to Nickolodeon.

Can anyone help Summer deliver her letter? Salamat!



10:15pm
06 September 2008
Santiago City, Isabela

Da-wow!

I’ve told a lot of friends that next to Baguio City, Davao City is my next favorite city. If there was a place that I would like to relocate to, it would be this city.

I like Davao’s vibe.

I love kinilaw, mangosteen, pomelo and lechon. All these things are best found in Davao.

If you want a lazy afternoon at the beach, you can go to Samal Island and the other nearby resorts. If you miss the morning mountain breeze, mount Apo is very near. Eden’s Nature Park is actually the best place to go to.

There are a lot of local artists and cultural groups. On the other hand, coffee shops, restos and gimik places abound.

There are 5 star hotels and posh malls. But a few minutes away from downtown, you can still see very rural community settings.

Davao is a contradiction.

Davao is a rainbow of different colors.

It’s been more than 3 years since my last visit to davao.

And after visiting it again, I can say that Davao is really Da-wow!


04:45 pm
03 September 2008
Santiago City

Imeldific

I’ve been published!

It’s not something big, but hey, it’s my first published photo.

Months ago, I got an email from a Malaysian publishing house. They told me that they are publishing a new travel book for Malaysia, in time for the 50th year of Malaysia’s Independence, and they wanted to use one of my photos which they saw on my flickr page (see http://www.flickr.com/photos/norlygrace/2255962129/).

I took this photo while I was still based in Penang, Malaysia, with Ixty, my trusty point and shoot Canon Ixus 60 camera.

It was a weekend, and Joolie, our Malaysian-Chinese colleague invited me and Marjo to explore the Sunday market at Upper Penang Road. They called this Sunday market/exhibit, Little Penang.


Little Penang had stalls offering various stuff from all over Penang – food, clothes, ornaments, antiques and other wares. Artists and photographers abound. Music from local bands and poetry reading and history-telling entertained the tourists, foreign and locals alike.

One of the things which captured my interests were these very small wooden shoes. I really had no idea what these were for, I guess just for design or for small gifts and mementos. I found them really cute. I wanted to take some photos since they remind me so much of something that Marikina would make. The guy in charge of the stall was nice enough to let me take some photos.

I posted it in my flickr page and called it “Imeldific”, in reference to the former First Lady of this country, who became famous (or should I say infamous) because of her fetish for shoes.


I am so happy they found my photo nice enough to be published. Last week, I got my copy of the book. I wasn’t paid for the photo, but they were nice enough to give me a complimentary copy. When the doorbell rang last Saturday, and I saw this guy from TNT carrying a small package, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. I knew that TNT was the courier usually used by offices in Malaysia. I was grinning ear to ear as I was opening the package. And my smile grew even wider when I saw my Imeldific photo on the 2nd page of the book! (see photo on the lower right part) And I saw it again in the middle of the book, this time, with my name and a link to this blogsite.


Salamat sa pagiging adik ko sa photography.

Thanks to the Malaysian publishing company for coming up with the “50+1 Malaysia” project.

Thanks to Imelda, for being a shoe addict.

Thanks to Penang, for having very interesting things for my camera to capture.


10:45 pm
24 August 2008
Fairview

Qua Chee

One of the things I miss about Penang is the food. Among my favorites are Bah Kuah, Belacan Rice, Poh Piah, Teh Ice and Qua Chee (Sunflower seeds). Actually, I don’t know how it’s spelled. So pardon me for any errors.

Imagine my surprise when I saw sunflower seeds in a local grocery. It was not the usual sunflower seed brand that we see here in the Philippines. It’s the brand from China – brown paper packaging, red prints, Chinese characters… it’s the real thing! It’s the same brand I voraciously devour in Penang.

Me so happy!


01:10 am
17 August 2008
Fairview

Wishes

Our lolas used to tell us "be careful what you wish for." When I was younger, I thought this advice sounded pretty stupid. Why should I be careful of something that I wished would happen? Isn't that the whole point of wishing? For it to happen?

Little did I know that she meant something else. Pero naman naman... bakit naman kasi? She should have just told me -- "if you wish for something, make it specific. In fact, make it very, very specific."

Case # 1:

When I was about 8 years old, my parents forced me to take piano lessons. We didn't have a piano or an electric organ, and I badly wanted to have one.

I remember praying to Jesus every night: "Dear Jesus, sana po, magkaroon ako ng sariling electric organ. Please po, Jesus. Promise that I will be a good girl".

And what do you know? I got my wish alright... after more than a decade.

Lesson: When you make a wish, include a timeline.


Case # 2:

When I was in highschool, I had a crush on a classmate. I will not even give the slightest clue as to the identity of this guy. I am certain that people (including this narcissistic guy) would tease me mercilessly and perpetually about it. So I won’t tell.

I remember praying to Jesus: "Jesus, I wish na maging close kami ni *guy*. Please po. Good girl naman po ako eh".

And tadah!... we became close and chummy... but after half a decade. It would not have been too late, since we were still in our late teens then, but I knew this guy too well by this time, that I never had a single iota of interest in him anymore. I like him as a friend yes, but I can never imagine kissing him. Yuck!

Lesson: When you make a wish, include a timeline, and a caveat, like: "Jesus, I wish maging close kami ni *guy*. But if we become close, make sure that I don't get turned off with him."


Case #3:

Almost every girl dreams of having a meaningful and serious conversation with a guy she's physically attracted to.

I remember wishing: "God, I hope to find someone I whom can talk to all night. Someone I am attracted to. I know I've made mistakes in the past, but I'll try to do better. Thank you!"

And like everyone says, God is a giving God. On a clear night, this cute guy spent the whole night at my place. We listened to music and talked about things that mattered -- to him, to me. We talked about the future... and as the moon set, it became clearer that this future does not include the picture of him and me together. We talked about his future, since he's getting hitched soon.

Lesson: When you make a wish, include a timeline, and a caveat, and make it specific, like: "God, I hope to find someone that I can talk to all night. Someone I am attracted to. Someone whom I can spend the future with."


Case # 4:

I can say that having experienced the 3 previous cases, I've learned my lesson pretty well. Therefore, I started to ask for something specific and realistic.

I said: "God, please help me find a decent guy. Someone charming, funny and witty. Someone who can commit and is faithful. Someone who has passion and principles. Someone who loves me and wants to spend days and nights with me. I know that I am not perfect, but I am not asking for the perfect guy. But give me someone perfect for me".

I am really proud of this prayer -- very realistic, specific, humble and grounded.

And I guess the Lord sensed my sincerity and maturity. I met a guy who is charming, funny, witty, smart, committed, faithful, talented, passionate, principled, and helpful. Someone who loves me and wants to spend time with me. He may not be perfect, but he is the perfect embodiment of the guy I asked for. He is, as some might say, the "answer to my prayers".

But there is one catch... he is gay.

He loves me though, and I love him more. He even told me... "Ate, kung bading ka lang, sana naging tayo na."

Lesson: When you make a wish, include a timeline, and a caveat, and make it specific... very, very specific.

Darn! I should have mentioned “heterosexual” in my prayer.


10:25 pm
07 July 2008
Fairview

Checking in

I haven’t written for quite a while. Basically because I don’t know what to write about. There are so many things happening… too many thoughts in my head… to many emotions unsettled.

I need more time to process things.

I need more space to sort things out.
I need more energy for spring cleaning.

If this entry is very tentative, it’s because I’m just checking in.



04:56pm
05 July 2008
Fairview

Juday and Ces

As of 3:50pm, June 19, 2008 (Thursday), the Filipino internet-reading public decided that Juday is more interesting than Ces.

Judy Ann Santos' lovelife is more interesting than Ces Orena-Drilon's harrowing ordeal as a captive of the Abu Sayyaf Group in the forests of Mindanao.

This is evident according the Philippine Daily Inquirer's website (http://www.inquirer.net/). Under the 'Most Read' tab, the story of Ces' and her team's captivity (2nd most interesting) was less interesting than Juday's rumored break-up with beau Ryan Agoncillo (top most interesting).

What has the world come to?

Ganito na ba talaga tayo?

Sad... so sad...


04:00 pm
Thurs
June 19, 2008
Santiago City, Isabela
(Kiddie Toes Montessori School)

Ka Bel

I've always said that I am apolitical.

I have no political color or affiliation.

I studied in UP Diliman, but i only got to attend one rally in my entire college life.

I never understood the diversity of the spectrum of the philippine political parties and movements.

I've never met any tibak or political leader in my entire life, not until 2 years ago.

Because of my short stint in malaysia, I got to meet political leaders and community leaders.

It's only recently that I knew about Ka Bel. I never met him personally, but I heard stories about him from friends.

My being apolitical and detached didn't hinder me from shedding tears (buckets of tears actually) every time I read articles or watch programs about his life.

The article below is another tear-jerker for me.

I remember a conversation I had with my father the day Ka Bel died. I told him that I wished that Ka Bel died in the streets. My father said that his death proves one thing: that Ka Bel represents the ordinary Filipino -- fighting the daily struggle of life.

I never knew Ka Bel, but I felt empathy for the old man. I know that I will never achieve his political awareness and stature. But I would just like to pay my respects to a great man. Saludo ako sa iyo, Ka Bel.

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http://allecoallende.wordpress.com/2008/05/21/regrets/

According to Anakpawis Party-List staff, Ka Bel’s remains will be brought to the House of Representatives on Tuesday morning, May 27, for the protocol necrological services. Prior to that, however, there will be a series of tributes for him beginning today, May 21 up to the 26th at the Iglesia Filipina Independiente Cathedral in Taft Ave across the Philppine General Hospital. His body will be brought there later tonight from Bulacan.

I don’t know if I will be able to go tonight because, well, it’s kind of hard to walk, and I’m not sure am up to saying goodbye to a man I loved like a grandfather. Baka bumulahaw ako ng iyak - e iyakin pa naman ako ngayon!

I wrote his speeches and press releases and resolutions and bills and feature articles about him, and through all those pages and pages of words, words, words I got to know him deeply. We talked about his life and we talked about work. We talked about his family and we gossiped about other people (Ka Bel was pilyo — he liked gossip of the political sort, sure; but he wasn’t above listening to your run-of-the-mill, garden variety chismis about people we knew: whom broke up with whom and why; the argument that broke out between so and so; who has a crush on whom, that sort of thing. Of course he was never mean, and he was no blabber-mouth, but he did laugh, even as he promised-cross-his-fingers-hoped-to-die that he would not tell anyone. Hahahaha!).

He was my main ninong sa kasal in Quezon City Hall in 2005, and when my father died in 2003, Ka Bel travelled all the way to Santiago, Isabela where my father’s remains were to condole with my mother and the rest of our family.He polished his own shoes, darned the holes in his pants and barong, cleaned his own desk and put his files and reading materials in order in himself. He washed his own dishes (pag hindi siya naunahan ng staff) and made his own coffee.

Well, for a time he didn’t make his own coffee because of a mistake he made with the containers. He tipped a teaspoon of instant coffee and half a teaspoon of brown powder into his mug, mixed it with water, stirred it, took a sip, and his lips puckered.

“Ne, bakit ang asim ng kape?”

“Po? Paanong maasim?”

He points to a small jar with brown powder. “Baka yung asukal sira na? Pero hindi nasisira ang asukal…”: I take the jar, take off the lid and sniff the jar’s contents: sour and pungent. I know it’s not sugar.

“Ka Bel, iced tea yan!

”Ka Bel never had money in his wallet - most of his allowance he gave to his wife, Ka Osang, and whatever was left he often gave away to people who walked up to him and asked for financial aid. It was sometimes frustrating the way he was too generous, even with the fake media photographers/reporters in Congress who badgered him to buy unfocused, blurry pictures they took of him while speaking in plenary — naaawa daw siya. He was also quite frugal. Some of his efforts were even quite extreme: he one time cut a shoe lace into two pieces, used both to tie his leather shoes and then he kept the other uncut shoe lace.

“Bakit ninyo ginupit?!” I asked, aghast when I found him at his desk burning the ends of one severed shoe lace to make sure that the ends wouldn’t unravel and fit into his shoe eyelets.

“Para may isa pa akong bagong pares ng tali pag naluma na ito.”

“Jusme, Ka Bel naman mura lang ang sintas!”

He just smiled his bright, bright smile.

Isang taon

Isang taon na ako dito sa pinas!

It’s exactly one year from now that my Singapore Airline plane landed in Manila from Penang.

It’s exactly one year from now that I’ve been away from Penang.

It’s exactly one year from now that I haven’t:
1. seen Xin Ying
2. been in Mr. Hanifa’s teksi
3. tasted poh piah (the Chinese version of the fresh lumpia)
4. seen the sunrise in our 16th floor apartment in Greenlane
5. seen the beauty of the Penang Bridge

There are so many things, places and faces that I haven’t seen for the longest time. But many things have happened to me here in the Philippines. The past year has been a really eventful one.

Tomorrow is the 22nd. I’m a year wiser, far stronger and with more genuine friends.


11:42pm
21 May 2008
Santiago City