Gotham vs Cablelandia

This afternoon, I was again reminded why I hate Manila roads during rush hour. And while I was stuck in the middle of Commonwealth Avenue, my foot perpetually pressed on the brakes and clutch (yes, I am a clutch driver, and I blame A1 Driving School for that), I started making a mental list of the things I love and hate about Gotham (Manila) and Cablelandia (the province).

I love Cablelandia because...
1. There is cable tv connection (thus the term)
2. There is a wifi router at my sister's workplace (where I get to tambay), and 2 (not 1) internet connections at home.
3. Free food! (need I say more?)
4. No worries about doing my laundry, washing the dishes or cleaning the house.
5. Less gas expense (I don't go out much)
6. 2 little brats I call pamangkins I see everyday.
7. No worried about always using the aircon

Now why can't i stand Cablendandia...
1. Too hot!!!
2. No moviehouse
3.I have to drive to the next town to get really good brewed coffee.

Gotham, on the other hand is unbearable because...
1. Traffic! Traffic! Traffic!
2. Pollution! Garbage! Pollution
3. Expenses! Expenses! Expenses!

But I keep coming back because...
1. I love UP Campus and Teacher's Village
2. I love the solitude of my small shoebox
3. I miss Tippy!
4. Food trip! Food trip! Food trip!
5. I miss attending the gathering of the Dyosas.

So there, Cablelandia....I will never let you go, pero kahit anong mangyari... Gotham... I will keep coming back to you.

*singing... hinahanap hanap kita Manila, ang ingay mong kay sarap sa tenga... mga jeepney mong naglliliparan...*


10:20 pm
29 June 2009
Monday
Fairview

photo credits: Flickr

Jungle

After almost 2 months of hiding in Cable-landia (sorry folks, I can't divulge where that is), I am back in the urban jungle my dyosa friends call Gotham.

Did I miss being in gotham? I've been asking that question since this morning. And until now, I still have no answer.

I guess I am glad... because now i can again...

... drive like crazy in Commonwealth and Quezon Circle
... problematize about my daily meals
... complain about the rising prices of food and gasoline
... inhale the over polluted air of the metro
... smell the garbage lying everwhere.

But I am happier that I can finally have food trip sessions with the bestest dyosas you can find.

I'm glad I'm back in gotham.

Now, I just need to look for Batman to fight the swine flu virus.


11:55 pm
23 June 2009
Tuesday
Quezon City

photo credits: Flickr

Radical Sabbatical

Ever wondered what job or activity would make you really happy? Not taking into consideration money, family, expectations and norms... what would you like to do?

I made a list (a very short one) of the things I would do on my radical sabbatical:

1. Photographer - I've been really interested in photography for the past few years. And it would not hurt to do it fulltime.

2. Travel and Leisure Critique - It would be heaven to go to different places and try out the services and amenities... for free! That way, I can still continue to write feature stories and articles, and take some snapshots.

3. Food Critique - Do I really need to explain?

4. Pre-school Teacher - Lately, I've been having so much interest in developing a relevant (emotionally, academically, and socially) curriculum for children.

5. Lounge Singer - I love music (although I'm not sure if the feeling is mutual).

Ikaw?


10:28 pm
14 June 2009
Sunday
Santiago City

Rainy days

It's been raining since a few days ago. And though i love the sound and feel of rain, i feel a certain sadness. I don't know why, but I feel a melancholic every time i hear the rain. But i love this kind of melancholy. It's not the kind where you would cry your eyes out or wail in frustration.

It's a pleasant kind of melancholy.

Sometimes, i smile when it rains... when i smell the rain. I close my eyes and i am transported to another place -- somewhere cold and misty, raindrops gently tapping on the roof, wood crackling in the fireplace, guitar playing in the background, cool and fluffy pillows. That is heaven for me.

Incidentally, the place described above is real. It happened a few years back. When life was as sweet as rain.


09:50pm
05 June 2009, Friday
Santiago City

photocredits:
flickr.com

Wish

this was forwarded by a friend. salamat.


My wish for you is that you succeed beyond your wildest imagination. That you find love in places that astound you. And that you have friends who call you "just because." I dream that you go barefoot more than you wear shoes. That you play as hard as you work. And that you laugh more than you cry. I want you to set the bar high, but not too high. To reach for the stars, but with your toes on the ground. And to never, ever stop dreaming. But most of all I wish for your happiness.

And these dreams of mine are what started it all.

Besos,
The Universe

Sleep

i want to sleep the whole day...

wala lang...

Summer in the city

My 6 year old nice, Summer, stayed with me in Manila for almost a week. We've been planning to do this since December. We called this our "bonding time".



My world stood still while she was here. I never realized how difficult it is to have a child, feed her real food, make sure she sleeps early, go home early (meaning less social life), bring her to activity centers, give her tips for her artwork, take photos, answer all her questions, keep up with her energy and listen to her stories.


It is tiring, i tell you. I was exhausted.

Exhausted, but happy.

She wants to do this again. Hmmm.... maybe after a couple of months. I need to recharge my batteries.

For more photos of her Manila adventure, visit my Multiply site.



07:30pm
03 May, 2009
Sunday
Fairview
(Paquiao won, yay)

Rain

It rained today.

After so many days of humidity and heat, it finally rained.

The downpour only lasted about an hour. But it was enough to make the world look and feel fresh again.

I went out after the rain stopped. And I felt really good. I feel as if the earth had just taken a really long shower after a day of trekking under the heat of the sun. The trees and plants look healthier and greener. The roads look happier and moisturized. The roofs look shinier and newer. Even my car looks newly painted and polished.

But most importantly, people I met seemed happier and revitalized.

I love the rain. I love how it cleanses us, from the inside out. Can't wait for the next downpour.



09:40pm
23 April 2009
Thursday
Santiago City, Isabela

photo credit: flickr.com

Infinite Possibilities

Last Easter Sunday, Summer (my niece) painted some hard boiled eggs for the kids' Easter Egg Hunt. She was only able to paint 4.


Then Lolo and Lola hid the eggs away -- under plants, inside cabinets, and one near the TV.


Summer and Red (the younger sister) were able to find all 4. And the grandparents bought ice cream... for everyone! :)

I love the concept of Easter Egg Hunting. The egg was a symbol of the rebirth of the earth in Pagan celebrations of spring and was adopted by early Christians as a symbol of the rebirth of man at Easter.

I love all celebrations and events which gives hope and new beginnings to people. It turns the page to something fresh and empty.

And at times when hunger, poverty, hatred, heartbreak and hopelessness is seen in every corner, Easter Egg Hunt and what it symbolizes is something that we all need.

I believe in new beginnings. I know that there are infinite possibilities. Look for your eggs. Happy Easter Egg Hunting!


10:25 pm
15 April 2009
Wednesday
Santiago City

Not fast... Just furious

After watching Fast and the Furious 4: New Model, Original Parts, I had this sudden desire to furiously step on the gas pedal and race. As we were going out the parking building of the mall, I wanted to test the speed limit of my miniature car. I felt that I was a race car driver.

But as we drove in the almost empty streets of Quezon City (it was already almost midnight), my heart sank. I realized that I can never do the things they do in the movie.

The state of our roads are dismal -- potholes and road constructions everywhere. Especially now that the elections are near, our beloved politicians are scrambling to make their names as visible as they can. Road blocks are seen everywhere. It says, Road Under Construction and of course, Public Service brought to you by Congressman Laki T. Yan.

Nope, I can never realize my dream of becoming a drag racer -- not with our roads, I won't.

I will not go fast... I will just be furious.


11:05pm
09 April 2009
Holy Thursday
Santiago City

Summer

Es muy caliente.

Het is zeer heet.

Il fait très chaud.

Fa caldo molto.

Está muito quente.

(apologies for any lapse in translation, blame it on babelfish)

The Bachelor

I've heard about this reality show, but i haven't really watched it. This morning, i was able to watch an episode. I have no idea which season this is, and i don't even remember the Bachelor's name.

What really struck me is the fact that there are 3 young and very attractive women fighting over one guy, The Bachelor.

I know that they signed up to all these drama and possibilities of love, but i can't help but to think if they really imagined how it would affect them. Did they really expect not to get hurt, and maintain their detachment?

In that particular episode, all 3 women went on an overnight date with the bachelor. They all accepted his offer to stay with him overnight in the Fantasy Suite. This suite was given as a "gift" to the couple by the show's organizers. Now, it's not my business whatever they do inside that very romantic room (with jacuzzi, wine, candles, and rose petals), but i am guessing they did not play cards nor plucked each other's armpit hairs.

What the hell are the producers of the show thinking???

I am not one to judge based on morality nor ethics (as i am not a saint). But this is clearly condoning multiple partners (sexual or otherwise).

I thought that my disgust for the show would stop here. But the bachelor was made to choose 1 girl that he needed to let go. And this was done on the 4th day, after he dated all the 3 girls! I was thinking, you kissed these girls, and the following day, you're going to break up with one of them?! What the...!

At ito ang pamatay... during the day of the Rose Ceremony (he will give a rose to the 2 girls he chose), he finally chose the girl he would let go. After the announcement, he was given a chance to say his goodbye to the jilted girl. The girl was clearly upset, and even shed a lot of tears.

After she left in her limo (yes, folks, she got her heart broken in style), the bachelor returned to the garden, to meet the 2 remaining girls... with a big smile on his face! They gave him and his girls wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. They were happily laughing, hugging and making toasts. But what were they so happy about? Were they celebrating the other girl's broken heart? Were they thinking of having a three-some? Were the girls trying drown down their fear of being the next one to get her heart broken?

It is sick, i tell you! It makes me want to throw up!

I know that reality shows have taken a plunge into the realms of desperation, but this show, The Bachelor, is in the abyss of psychological disturbance.

As i turned off the tv, i felt a sense of sadness. I empathized with the sadness felt by the girl in the limo (hey, her feelings seemed real). But i was more sad... i was actually mourning, for the death of decency, creativity and intelligence of television as a medium of expression and communication.

Hayyy...


10:40pm
24 March 2009
Tuesday
Santiago City, Isabela

Facebook: a phenomenon

I've always said this... I am amazed at how Facebook was able (and still is) connecting people.

Friends from way back have reconnected because of this platform. And don't believe it when they say that technology causes the decline in societal interaction. I think that Facebook does exactly the opposite. It enables people -- from the best of friends to your most casual acquaintance -- to exchange feelings, thoughts and emotions through the status message.


I noticed that FB contacts would shamelessly wear their heart out on their sleeves through that one small box in their Facebook wall.


Xxxx... is sure that love is all that matters (from a developmental worker who
always appears to be grim and determined)

Xxxx... feels stupid (from an elderly and respected woman/personality)

Xxxx... is senti (from a very successful no-nonsense businessman)

It never fails to put a smile on my face, every time I read these status messages. I think people take advantage of this perceived anonimity and detachment. When you write words in you FB wall, you are only accountable to yourself. You write to your heart's content without considering who reads it. And that is the novelty of Facebook. You seem to be only writing and communicating to yourself.

It asks you... "What are you doing right now?" And you answer. And what you write is most of the time your most personal thoughts, feelings and emotions. You write about the "here and now".

With FB, you connect with people... albeit unknowingly. And sometimes, this is the most personal connection there is... more than talking to another... talking to the self.

Who would have thought that Facebook is a good practice for introspection?


08:20 pm
Tuesday
17 March 2009

My status message:
Stuck in Sunny Villas, Fairview, QC

Diet

note:
Today, i wanted to write about so many things --
... about my first encounter with the Eraserheads
... about my love for short stories
... about my weight gain
... about shitty marriages and relationships
... about the summer heat and how it gives me headaches
... about love potions from Siquijor...
...but i am not a prolific writer. I struggle in writing. So i will just write about one topic... my weight gain. (I initially intended to write about short stories, but i changed my mind just now. Yes, i am fickle.)



I have been overweight since time immemorial.

I've always needed to shed off a few pounds -- 5 pounds, 10 pounds, 20 pounds.

I have tried so many kinds of diet strategies -- after 6 diet, 3 day diet, south beach diet, Slimfast diet, Skyflakes diet. (The most effective for me is south beach).

As i am writing this entry, i need to lose 20 pounds, the most i needed to lose since i turned 20.

I don't know if it's because of my age (I'm past 30), or because i have a home-based job now, or that i don't get to exercise, or that i've been stuffing myself with comfort food the past months. But i am guessing it's because of all of these.

I feel heavy, lethargic, moody, sad. I need to lose weight! I want to lose weight! I have to lose weight!

Wala lang. I just wanted to rant.

Remind me to write about those other things i mentioned previously.


08:15 pm
Tuesday
10 March 2009
Fairview

Broken

* free-writing

I call her Negra.

Negra has been my best friend since 2003.

She's with me when i'm sad, and i want to strum away my pain. She's also with me when i'm ecstatic, and i want to sing at the top of my lung.

She is my beautiful black guitar.

I got her in 2003, from of the stores in Sta Mesa. A good friend (see previous entry, Boylet) went with me to the guitar shop. And when i saw her, i instantly fell in love.

I said in my previous entry (My checkist - the ideal guy) that my guy should know how to play a musical instrument. I guess i got tired of waiting for him, so i told myself that i will buy myself a guitar and learn how to play.

I basically taught myself, with the help of some friends. My first piece was "Luka". I loved it because i sounded good playing it.

So after almost 6 years of stroking Negra's dark and smooth curves, she broke. She's broken... beyond repair. I don't know why, maybe because i don't play the guitar anymore. Maybe she felt abandoned and forgotten. But one thing's for sure... I want her back.

Salamat, Negra. You will be missed.


10:05pm
01 March 2009
Sunday
Santiago City, Isabela

Love in the islands

I went to Dumaguete and Siquijor with two of the most interesting travel companions.


We spent Valentine's day in Siquijor... the mystical island... the island of fire... la isla del fuego.


And there I got to experience one of the best valentine's day ever.



Being photo enthusiasts, we started this game of putting titles to photos that we take. "Ang puso ko ay parang... *the subject of the photograph*. So for four wonderful days, we kept on saying... "Ang puso ko ay parang dagat, or bangka, anting-anting, etc..."



Siquijor and Dumaguete are the perfect places to spend the day of love in. And since I don't want to do injustice to these lovely islands, I won't write about them. But I will show photos which struck me.



I left my heart in this island.




Vandalism seen in the walls of the school building in Apo Island, Dumaguete:

"Bulaklak ng pag-ibig
Dahon ng pagmamahal
Ugat ng ala-ala
Ipinanganak man akong
Walang kakambal
Mahalin mo ako
Ng walang karibal"

Ice Castles

They say that you can't forget your firsts -- first love, first heartbreak, first experience.

Tonight, I am watching again my very first favorite movie, Ice Castles. I was about 4 years old when I first watched it. And I fell in love with the movie, with Lexie, the ice skater.

My parents tell me that I know the story by heart, and I can tell it to friends and cousins.

In this sports melodrama that boldly illustrates the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, Lynn-Holly Johnson plays Iowa farm girl Alexis Winston, who has a God-given talent for ice skating.

With the encouragement and training of the local ice-skating rink operator Beulah Smith (Colleen Dewhurst), she manages to win the first prize trophy at a regional ice-skating competition. At the competition, she is spotted by Olympic coach Deborah Machland (Jennifer Warren), who promotes her as an underdog competitor, and she skyrockets to fame.

Her career is going like gangbusters, until she is blinded in a freak accident. But with the help of her caring boyfriend Nick (Robby Benson) and her encouraging father Marcus (Tom Skerritt), she overcomes her depression just in time to prove herself at a major competition.

After 30 years, I am watching the movie again. This time, with new perspectives and interpretations. But still with the same enthusiasm that I had when I was a little girl.


10:05 pm
25 January 2009
Sunday
Fairview, QC

Marathon

I've been doing a marathon. Not the running kind. A Grey's Anatomy marathon. I've been staying up very late trying to finish 2 seasons of this series. And not only did I get headaches and eyebags, I found some really surprisingly relevant nuggets of wisdom from Meredith.


"The most miserable people are those who don’t know what they want."


"It’s shocking how many kinds of addiction there are. It would be easy if it was just booze or drugs or cigarette.

The hardest part of kicking a habit, is wanting to kick it. We get addicted for a reason. Too often, things that start out as normal part of your life, at some point, cross the line to being obsessive, compulsive, and out-of-control. Because it’s the high we’re chasing. The high that makes everything else fade away.

The thing with addiction is that it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good. Then it starts to hurt. They say you don’t kick the habit until you’re rock bottom. But how do you know you’re there? Because no matter how badly the thing is hurting use, sometimes, letting it go hurts even worse."


"We like to think that we are rational beings – humane, conscientious, civilized, thoughtful. But when things fall apart, even just a little, it becomes clear – we’re no better than animals. We have opposable thumbs, we think, we walk erect, we speak, we dream. But deep down, there is a little animal in all of us. And maybe that’s something to celebrate. Our animal instinct is what makes us see comfort, or a pack to run with. We may feel caged, we may feel trapped. But still as humans, we can find ways to feel free. We are each other’s keeper. We are the guardians of our own humanity. And even though there’s a beast in all of us, what sets us apart from the animals is that we can think, feel, dream and love. And against all odds, against all instincts, we evolve."


"You know what’s better than sex? Anticipation."


"Don’t lick your wounds, celebrate them. The scars you bear are the signs of a competitor. You are in a lion fight. Just because you didn’t win doesn’t mean you don’t know how to roar."


"Reality... it's much more interesting than living happily ever after."


6:30 pm
19 January 2009
Monday
Fairview

Crazy

* more of those free-writing exercises *

"Crazy" is one of those words which I can say in different languages and dialects

Crazy. Baliw. Bagtit. Murit. Buang. Gila. Loco. Maluco.

Last night (Thurs) was one of those over crazy nights. 6 gila people gathered together for dinner and social drinks (which turned out to be all-nighter a.k.a pamorningan).

Each one had her/his own baliw moment. Each one imposed her/his own bagtit view on another.

It was totally murit! Gila pandemonium! A buang circus!

After 6 bottles of wine, 1 bottle of Bailey's and bottles of San Mig Light, we went home before the crack of dawn -- reeking with alcohol, eyebags and dark circle around the eyes visible, but with a loco grin in our faces.

I love having crazy nights with my crazy friends!


9:15pm
Friday
09 January 2009
Fairview (once more)

Gratitude

* another free writing exercise *

Inspired by an entry of a fellow photo-enthusiast, this entry is dedicated to very special people in my heart. They might not have realized that they made a rather large dent in my life. But to them, I owe what I am today -- with all my flaws and achievements, my imperfections and my strengths.

To my nephrologist (whom I fondly call Mommy Doc)...
She is the gentle yet firm voice I hear every month, urging me to religiously take my meds and keep healthy. To her I owe how I feel today. She was my second mother, making sure that I stick to her medical advise, and yet I still feel her respect for me as a person. Salamat, Doc.

To my cousin...
I know that he is one of my biggest fan in terms of photography. I feel that even if he doesn't tell me. He gives me opportunities for photo shoots even in the most impossible situations. You inspire me to do better. Salamat, pinsan.

To a fellow photo enthusiast...
He reminded me of the true meaning of passion and commitment. That even if a task seems impossible to do, one's dedication can move mountains. He is not only a talented photographer, but is an excellent model for all inspiring photo-enthusiast. Isa kang tunay na litratista. Saludo ako sa iyo, kuya.

To a Malaysian blogger and publisher...
He is a visionary. And he not only pushed himself to realize his own dreams, but he made other people's dreams become a reality. Thank you for believing in what I can do. Thank you for recognizing my talent. Terimah kasih!

To a very dignified and accomplished man...
You made me see things in a different light. You inspired me in ways you would not have thought possible. You made me smile again, reminding me of my youth, and the endless possibilities life can offer. You made me warm, and fuzzy, and happy, and giddy and giggly. Thank you for giving me back this amazing feeling -- something that I thought I didn't have anymore. Thank you very much, sir.

To a great artist...
You are my idol. You make me want to become a true visual artist. Thank you for being nice and accommodating. Thank you for your very subtle ways of pushing me to learn. Salamat. Idol talaga kita.

To a strong woman, a TV series character...
Thank you for showing me what could happen in the future. Thank you for mouthing the words that have long been inside my head. Thank you for saying that, "The people who suffer most are the ones that do not know what they want."

2008 has been an amazing year. Not all five-hundred-twentyfive-thousand-six-hunded-minutes were perfect. But 2008 surely gave me five-hundred-twentyfive-thousand-six-hunded-minutes of moments I would cherish.

2008 gave a lot of challenges, but it threw in far more amazing gifts.

In 2008, I was forced to climb a mountain, but the pain was all worth it when I saw the view from the top.

In 2008, I got thrown in a river, but this was when I finally saw my reflection.

In 2008, I was in the middle of a storm, but I was protected by the "eye", and came through unscathed.

2008 was truly an amazing year. And I know that 2009 will be better, more special, really spectacular.

2009 is another chance for us to get things right.

Here's a toast to new beginnings!

Here's a toast to living life on superlative!

Here's to "lundagin mo, baby!" Yebah! :)


10:40 pm
Thursday
01 January 2008
Santiago City