Pope John Paul: Lost in Bangkok

Pure-bred Roman Catholic

I am what you would call a full-blooded catholic. My parents are devout catholics who never miss to hear the sunday mass. I had 12 years of catholic education, thanks to the nuns who became the favorite topic of cruel high school jokes. During high school, I used to hear mass every wednesday and finish the Our Lady of Perpetual Help novena. Sometimes, when I have time, I even attend the mass on fridays, this time for the Sacred Heart of Jesus novena. I never miss going to sunday mass, misa de gallo, as well as every catholic procession you can think of.

Bless me father for I have sinned...

If I were to go to confession now, I would have to take a long pause after the phrase "Bless me father for I have sinned." You are supposed to tell the priest when you had your last confession. So I would say: My last confession was... ahhh... hmmm... let me think... 18 years ago!!! Well, what do you know, my last confession is already celebrating her debut. It was that long ago!

But my last communion was not too long ago. It was, if I'm not mistaken, about 10 years ago, right after college. You see, I firmly believe that before having communion, one must be clean and pure, and therefore, has to have confession first. And since I have not had confession for a loooong time, I very seldom go for communion.

Talking about communion, my elementary friends and I firmly believe that one good measure to know if the Lord has forgiven you for your sins is to have communion. The hostia (unleavened bread), upon touching your mouth, should rest on top of your tongue, not at the roof of your mouth. If it got stuck to the roof of your mouth, then you are in trouble, the Lord did not forgive you. Little did we know that all these business about the bread's stickiness is purely due to your saliva's acidity and all those scientific theories.

I missed the Pope

While in Bangkok, I stayed with a pinay friend for a weekend. She was going to hear the mass that Sunday, so I thought it to be my duty to go with her. After all, I have not heard mass for more than a year now. I thought, it wouldn't hurt, and after all, I can always make 3 wishes. (They say that you should ask for 3 things everytime you visit a new church).

Now, with all the masses that I went to during high school, I've actually memorized the whole text of the mass. I can recite all the prayers, the priest's dialogue, and the responses. That is why it gave me a jolt when I didn't hear Pope John Paul's name! His death suddenly became very real to me. I felt nostalgia wash all over me, and I felt lucky that I was actually given the opportunity to see him in person at the Vatican a few years back. I miss mentioning his name during mass! It's like knowing that Pluto is not a planet after all. Or if Santa Clause finally decides to retire. It brings chaos to an otherwise orderly world.

Sunday as a social event

Going to that cathedral in Bangok, I saw many pinoys -- lectors, sacristans, choir members, and mass-goers. It was like going to a sunday mass in the Philippines. It makes me think, aside from the joy one gets from praising the Lord, the sunday mass is a great help for expat pinoys and OFWs. It becomes a social event for them, interacting and being with fellow pinoys. I met a pinay expat here in Malaysia. She was surprised to know that I have not attended any sunday mass in Penang. For her, it was the only thing that helped her with the homesickness.

Must make a mental note, that when I go home for Christmas, I will attend at least one misa de gallo, and hear the sunday mass on Christmas and New Years. After all, I want to familiarize myself with the new pope. What's his name again?

2:09pm

03 December 2006

Sunday

Penang

Happy being miserable

Last night, I watched Grey’s Anatomy. It was their Thanksgiving episode. The lead star, Meredith, talks about being miserable, and not wanting to infect people with her misery. She thus decided to skip the Thanksgiving Dinner that a fellow-medical intern prepared.

Personally, I think that we sometimes need to be miserable and detached from people. It gives a certain emotional breathing ground, where one can be completely and utterly miserable and lonely, thereby making space for raw and pent-up emotions to surface and be recognized.

Lately, I’ve been in this kind of mood. I discovered that I am actually happy being miserable. Being ecstatic about something is scary for me. What happens after the ecstasy? As they say, the higher you fly, the more painful the fall. Why would one want to experience major highs, just to be followed by manic lows? I’d rather be safe in my monotonous and boring life than to be once again shaken by some unwelcome emotion.

Cupids, roses, chocolates, rainbows… that’s not the shape of my heart… for the moment.



2:26 pm
15 November 2006
Wednesday
Penang

Angels working over time

My friend Mai talks all the time about her angels working overtime for her. I never took notice if my angel punched in a few extra hours for my benefit. I guess I’ve always taken my angel for granted.

When I was young, the image of an angel in my head is a very tall man, with a shoulder length hair, with bangs, wearing a white robe with a colored belt around the waist. And of course, with very large and immaculately white wings. I never envisioned my angel to be a human being.

This trip proved me wrong. We went on a trip, all 6 of us. Crazy with work, and stressed with life, we took long leaves and swiped our credit cards with eyes shut, just to purchase Airasia tickets and the cheapest hotel accommodations.

The angel in Andaman

The first angel that we encountered is named Michael. Since we decided to go backpacking in Langkawi, we had to look for the cheapest everything – hotel, food, transpo, gimmick. A friend told us to never miss the sunset at the Andaman Sea. And the best place to experience this is at The Andaman. The Andaman is one of the most expensive hotel and resort in Langkawi. But this did not stop us from driving for almost an hour and pretending to be rich Filipinos in ragged and dirty backpackers’ attire.

Upon seeing the place, we instantly knew that we could not order anything. And upon looking at the menu, our fates were sealed, we can only order coffee, which costs Rm11 (which is roughly P165).

We were ordering the most inexpensive coffee we could afford, when the angel spoke, “Pinoy kayo?”. What do you know?! There’s a pinoy in The Andaman! He’s name’s Michael. We soon learned that he was one of the pioneer staff of The Andaman. And that a lot of Filipinos are working there. We also learned that The Andaman is part of the Aman Group of Resorts, which Amanpulo in Palawan is also part of.



After the amazing sunset, good coffee, great conversation and lotsa freebies (peanuts, otak-otak) from Michael, we decided to settle the bill and head for a cheap resto. We then found out that he paid for our bill! Not only that, he invited us again for a night of booze and BBQ!

We said our goodbyes after exchanging namecards and phone numbers. And we headed for the backpackers strip in Pantai Cenang, glad that we enjoyed the Andaman sunset and met a new friend.

Puon, the street angel



We were chilling out in one of the bars in the town of Siem Rep (beer’s only a dollar!), when I saw this little boy, pushing a big cart full of pirated books or book-a-likes (really good imitations of Lonely Planet and other interesting reads). We wanted to buy Lonely Planet featuring Laos, so we squinted our eyes to look for a copy. Then I noticed a hand-written note pasted on the boy’s cart. It says “My name is Puon. I am 10 years old. I have 3 sisters. I am selling books so that we can go to school. Can you please buy a book, to help us have a better life.” The handwritten note really touched my heart. I’ve seen other carts with notes imploring the tourists to buy books. But there is something very personal in the handwritten note of this boy. Call me gullible, but I felt that it might be true, that this boy is doing all he can for his sisters.

We bought a book from Puon. And it was a very pleasant surprise when he came back and handed me a small piece of green paper. There, he wrote a short note: “This is free, ok J Thank you very much *heart* Puon”. He even drew a pretty little flower. This sweet gesture made my heart melt. This little street angel Puon will go a long way. He knows the value of gratitude.

Angel of the market

She was all smiles when she learned that we were Filipinos. She told us that she watched “Pangako Sa Iyo” and other Filipino movies. Her name is Pi Dao. She sells Cambodian kramat and scarves.

Especially for us Filipinos, no trip would be complete without a visit to the local market to buy local wares and haggle for the price. Pi Dao, this sweet angel of the market was very friendly to us. She was patient enough to tolerate, and even indulge some of our paluging-tawad and pagkukuripot.

After buying several scarves from her stall, I told her “Pi Dao, I’ve no more money!”. Her response came as a surprise. She was inviting me to have lunch at her house. She told me that if I don’t have money for food, I can eat at her house. How hospitable! I would have wanted to eat in a Cambodian house, and share the meal with a Cambodian family, but I graciously declined her offer. There were 6 of us, and it would be an inconvenience for her to feed 6 hungry backpackers. So we just had our pictures taken with her, with a vow to come back to her stall if ever we visit Angkor Wat again.

We met other angels along the way – the Burmese hotel manager in Siem Rep, Viseth: the excellent tour guide, Ti Ye: the ever reliable van and tuktuk driver, the pretty girl in Bantay Srei, Moot, the chocolate-loving boy in Bantay Samre, the Vietnamese boat-girl with palanggana as her boat in Ton Le Sap Lake, and many more nameless faces who have worked overtime to share their humble gestures, kind words and sweet smiles.

I would say that this trip was an eye-opener for me, that there are still angels among us. And after hours of walking under the sun and climbing the steep temple steps, I would say that life is great. Because of people like them, one would feel at home even at the other side of the world.


08 November 2006
Wednesday
11:17pm
Penang

Slo-mo

There are times when days just seem to fly by. Those are times when you feel that your life is fully packed -- of emotions, adventures, activities. You wonder how the hours seem to clandestinely pass by. Somehow, the hours are not just enough. These are the times when you are really living life.

But today is not one those days. I feel like the whole world, and my life for that matter is on slow motion. The hands of the clock seem to weigh a hundred tons, dragging itself around the numbers.

This is life… in slow motion.



19 October 2006
Thursday
06:36pm
PANAP Office, Penang

Communication

This is a very haunting song. I fell in love with it the first time I heard it.


COMMUNICATION
The Cardigans

For 27 years I’ve been trying to believe and confide in
Different people I’ve found.
Some of them got closer than others
Some wouldn’t even bother and then you came around
I didn’t really know what to call you, you didn’t know me at all
But I was happy to explain.
I never really knew how to move you
So I tried to intrude through the little holes in your veins
And I saw you
But that’s not an invitation
That’s all I get
If this is communication
I disconnect
I’ve seen you, I know you
But I don’t know
How to connect, so I disconnect

You always seem to know where to find me and I’m still here behind you
In the corner of your eye.
I’ll never really learn how to love you
But I know that I love you through the hole in the sky.

Where I see you
And that’s not an invitation
That’s all I get
If this is communication
I disconnect
I’ve seen you, I know you
But I don’t know
How to connect, so I disconnect

Well this is an invitation
It’s not a threat
If you want communication
That’s what you get
I’m talking and talking
But I don’t know
How to connect
And I hold a record for being patient
With your kind of hesitation
I need you, you want me
But I don’t know
How to connect, so I disconnect
I disconnect.

Malaysia trip

My family came to visit me last week -- my dad, mom, sister and my adorable little niece, Summer. It was an awesome trip since we got to go to places together.

Here are some of the pictures, just click on the link:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/norlygrace/album?.dir=350fscd&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/norlygrace/my_photos

Enjoy!



7:49pm
04 October 2006
Penang

La Manila

“Come here, honey.”, Alfred told Isabel, while he held out his hand to take hers. Isabel stood up from the bed and walked towards Alfred, smiling.

“We need to get dressed for dinner. We don’t want them to wait, don’t we?”. Isabel was tying up her hair in a neat bun.

“Well, they can entertain each other.”, Alfred said with a laugh. “Why don’t you just let you hair down? I love the way your hair falls on your shoulders”, he added while touching Isabel’s hair.

Isabel lets her hair down, running her brush over her hair a couple of times. She puts on some lipstick, and sprays her favorite perfume. She finally faces Alfred and says, “I’m ready, honey, are you?”.

“Then off we go!”, says Alfred beaming at her. She flashes a hesitant smile, but heads for the door.

The couple leaves their condo apartment, and heads to the nearby mall. They walk to the mall holding hands, both of them quiet, seemingly lost in their own thoughts.

They finally reach Carre Four, and heads for their favorite restaurant, La Manila. They go inside, and Isabel takes a deep breath and tightens her grip on Alfred’s arm. Alfred smiles at her, and kisses her on the forehead.

They see a couple, sitting in a booth for four, in a dimly lit side of the restaurant.

“Oh my God, it’s so nice to see you again!”, gushes Apple, while hugging Isabel. Isabel’s tense expression finally lightened up. “Yes! It’s been a while, Apple. So how are you?”, she says, while nodding towards the direction of the other man.

“Hi, Isabel! It seems like ages since I last saw you. You look…”, glancing at Alfred, “…happy.”.

Alfred, as if on cue, gives the man a bear hug. “Bro! How’s the most successful doctor in Manila? I saw the news, bro… “Tristan Reyes performs yet another successful cardiac operation.” I’m proud of you!”.

“C’mon! It’s not that big a thing, bro. Look who’s talking! Your stories are all over the Philippines. You got all the big news stories. Congratulations, bro! You are one of the most credible news personalities around.”, Tristan shakes Alfred’s hand. The two men, with wide smiles on their faces, hug each other once more.

“Hey, you two, stop complimenting each other, and let’s sit down and have dinner.”, Isabel quips while sitting down. Apple does the same, and takes Tristan’s hand, motioning him to sit down.

The two couples happily have dinner and talk about what is going on with their lives. Halfway through the bottle of red wine, Apple asked Isabel, “So have you started preparing for the wedding?”.

Isabel and Tristan exchanged uncomfortable glances. “Well, we already have a wedding planner.”, she says. And to Tristan, "We wanted to tell you personally, but we can’t get hold of you."

“It’s not a big deal, Isabel.”, Tristan drinks from his wine glass.

“And Tristan, we both want you to be there. Promise that you’ll be there. We want her to be there, and be part of the wedding.”, Isabel looks imploringly at Tristan. Alfred holds her hand, and looks intently at Tristan.

“Isabel, I’m sure it’s not a problem with Tristan. It’s ok, bro, right?”, he looks at Tristan, as if silently commanding him to say yes.

“Of course, she will be there. How could she miss such an important occasion?!”, he laughs mockingly. He adds, “At least now, she has one parent who will be legally married!”.

‘Tristan, stop it!”, Isabel orders Tristan. Apple looks away.

“Ok, then, it’s settled. I am sure she will be the prettiest girl in that wedding, aside from you, honey, of course!”, Alfred laughs a nervous laugh. Then to Apple, “You will be there right?”.

Apple seems at a loss for words, then finally speaks, “Well, yeah, of course Alfred. We won’t miss that for the world. We will be there, both me and Tristan. You can pick up the little girl a week before the wedding. For… you know… all the preparations”. Then looks at Tristan with a pained look.

Tristan, who seemed to have too much to drink, suddenly fills his glass with red wine, and raises his glass. “Here’s to the soon-to-be-married couple! A toast, to happiness!”. The couples toast and smile politely.

Tristan then faces Apple and says, “Too bad, sweetheart, they can’t make the same toast for us.”.

“Bro, let’s drop the subject. Tell me about your prestigious hospital?”, Alfred tries to change the subject, while Apple tries to suppress tears swelling on her eyes.

Meanwhile, Isabel has been quiet, intently looking down at her lap.

Tristan sits down, takes a deep breath and kisses Apple on her cheeks, “I’m sorry sweetheart, it’s the red wine talking.”

“It’s ok sweet. I’m ok… it’s nothing…”, her voice fades, but she touches Tristan face lovingly. “I’m sorry that my hands are tied at the moment, but you know that I love you, don’t you?”

“I do, sweetheart, I do…”, Tristan looks at the happy couple, catches Isabel’s eyes, then whispers to Apple, “…now, I really do.”




17 September 2006
Sunday
07:34pm
Penang

Tippy… I’m home!

Isn’t it a really amazing feeling, coming home to someone you absolutely adore?

Office work becomes a breeze knowing that you are just a few hours away from seeing that someone.

As you walk towards your house, your heart even skips a beat because of excitement.

Everytime I come home, I just love the thought of seeing him again. As soon as the door’s open, I shout, “Tippy… I’m home!” or “Hola, Tippy!”.

Tippy... the epitome of cuteness. He is the green-colored toad-looking stuff toy my friend Sheila gave during my despedida dinner. She said Tippy will be my toad prince for the moment, while the real one is lost somewhere out there.

So, meet my Tippy. I’m sure you’ll agree that he’s the most adorable toad on earth.



07 September 2006
Thursday
05:06pm
PANAP Office, Penang

Bali high…

Can’t think of anything to write. Was supposed to write about amazing Bali. Unfortunately, I feel that my words will not do justice to the place. So I will not write anything to underestimate its beauty. Just click on the link:

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/norlygrace/my_photos

Click on the “Bali Aug 2006” folder.



Note:
By the way, Bali High is a local beer in Indonesia. It’s Marjo’s favorite high :)


24 August 2006
Thursday
09:07pm
Penang

Little Joys

Life is indeed full of things, events and circumstances that may turn out to be small prizes, little joys, pleasant surprise. They might be trivial and insignificant for others. But these things never fail to bring smile to my lips and make my heart skip a little.

I made a list of what I consider my top 10 “little joys”.
1. A relaxing massage
2. Great conversation
3. Fullmoon
4. A bear hug
5. Rainy Sunday
6. Walk along the beach
7. Text message from a good friend
8. Fluffy pillows
9. Good movie and Chippy
10. Going to the grocery on a weekend

What’s yours?





13 August 2006
Sunday
05:07pm
Penang

Pag-ibig at Tide Ultra

a friend sent this poem. read on...

=========================================

Ang Pag-ibig Alinsunod sa Pakete ng Tide Ultra

sabi ko
ayaw kong maglaba sa gabi
hindi ko alam kung bakit

siguro’y ayaw kong makitang
nakasungaw ang bituin sa ulap
at pinapanood ang bawat kong kusot

pero hindi kagabi –
ang totoo
naglaba ako

sinamantala ko ang pangungulimlim
ng bituin sa nangingilid na ulap

at natitiyak ko
maputi ang aking nilabhan
sinunod ko yata ang bawat instruksyon
sa likod ng pakete ng tide ultra

1. kunin sa timba ang damdaming matagal nang ibinabad

2. kusutin ng mabuti, pabulain
pabulain upang matiyak na
natatakpan na ng bula
ang mga salitang noon pa sana sinabi

3. at dahil nahuli na sa sikat ng araw
na siyang pagkukulahan
lagyan na lamang ng Clorox
upang kumupas at walang makakita
sa mantsa ni Eros

4. banlawan, maraming banlaw
at tiyaking maisama sa tubig
ang mga sentimyento
at panghihinayang

5. ibuhos sa kanal ang tubig
upang makapagtago sa burak
ang mga pagsinta

6. isampay sa mahanging lugar
ang nilabhang damdamin
pabayaan itong makahinga
matagal na rin naming
naikubli ito sa baul

pagmumuni pagkatapos…
napigaan ko na ang damit, mariin
nakalimutang ko nga lamang
pigaan ang tubig sa aking mata

paalam muna
samantala’y magpapatuyo muna ako –
ng damit
ng mata

sana’y walang makakita
salamat sa pakete ng tide ultra.

(Gilbert M. Sape)

Durog kung durog!

I came across this phrase a couple of years ago, during a cold night in Baguio. A friend and former colleague used this phrase to describe how much she gives into a relationship – no limits, no hesitations, 101% real L-O-V-E!

Durog kung durog… this captures the lengths to which individuals in a relationship would go to, just to preserve what they have. It’s not enough that they get beaten and bruised, they would even endure the pain of having their hearts laid down in a mortar, then ground and crushed into tiny bits. That is the very essence of this phrase – enduring the pestle’s painful grind.

Durog kung durog… this entails not measuring how much one can give, because the well will certainly not go dry, not until there are still small pieces to be broken down into the most minute particles.

Durog kung durog… what one feels when someone has taken one’s heart, held it tightly with one fist and crushed it, leaving it dry and mangled. But the damage does not end there. The battered heart is thrown to the ground, gets stepped upon, repeatedly.

Durog kung durog… this is what one might feel after a really ugly goodbye. One can do nothing but to stand up, straighten ones clothes, and continue walking, ignoring the fact that the heart is broken, bruised, mangled and battered. After all, ‘durog kung durog’ is what we say after losing a battle – a battle we knew we could never win in the first place.

So ask yourself, are you willing to go the extra mile, braving all odds and facing the possibility of being “durog” at the end of the day? I certainly would not. Well, not now. Ikaw?




19 July 2006
Wednesday
05:26pm
Penang

Futbol!

Malaysians are really football crazy! Football to them is like basketball to us Pinoys. And now that the world cup fever has invaded Europe, Latin America and some parts of Asia (Japan and Korea), Malaysia is joining the bandwagon.

Everything in Malaysia at the moment is contaminated by the virus that is the world cup – tv commercials, billboards, announcements, conversations, social events, etc. Malaysians breathe, drink and eat football, or futbol, as the locals would call it.

Being a legal alien in this country, I try my best to fit in – I’ve tried Laksa (the spicy noodle soup with a bagoong-like paste), spicy dishes, eaten noodles with chopsticks, even tried durian! And of course, since Malaysia’s favorite sport is football, I have to know why they go gaga over it.

So I surfed in the internet about the game, its history, the rules, the teams, and of course… the gorgeous players (yummy!). My favorite are: Cahill (Australia), Adriano (Brazil) and Del Piero (Italy). They are certainly the sweetest eye candy, I tell you.

Because of this new-found interest for football, I’ve spend several sleepless nights watching the games. The games usually start at 2:00 or 3:00am! And at this unholy hour, there I am in front of the tv, watching gorgeous yet sweaty men run, kick, jump and get physical with each other.

My eyebags, the dark circles around my eyes, the breakout in my skin and my cranky mood in the mornings are evidence of this new obsession. I was in denial at first, but now I can see clearly… I am futbol crazy! Just like everyone else in this country!

It’s near midnight. In exactly 2 hours, the final game for the FIFA world cup will be aired live. I am still awake, waiting for the ultimate game between Italy and France. I am rooting for Italy, since they are really like us Pinoys. My friend calls them the Pinoys of Europe (see: http://www.lifeinitaly.com/flash/). Aside from that, they are really, really cute! Go Del Piero!!!

This is the last world cup night. Tomorrow, the world will go back to normal. I can have my full 8 hours sleep. The white and black ball will finally rest, well, for 4 years… and will be in South Africa for the next world cup.

Still waiting for 2am…

Getting sleepy…

But need to stay awake…

Will just watch Piolo and Juday DVD…

Eating Goldilocks brownies, yummy!...

Now, can’t sleep…

Good luck, Del Piero, my dolce!


Postscript: (4:58am)
Del Piero didn’t score a goal (well, except in the penalty shootout), but hey… WE WON!!!

And what’s with Zidane, ramming his head in his opponent’s chest? He really deserves the red card.

Hurrah for Azzuri! La Dolce Vita!

09 July 2006
Sunday
11:58pm
Penang


Below: Del Piero, Adriano and Cahill, respectively

Kuantan-bound!

My new office, also an NGO, organised a meeting in Kuantan. (Notice I’m using British English I have to practice since all communications, documents, etc here are in British English). It’s a small, quaint city in the State of Pahang, around 8 hours drive from Penang. I was really excited since apart from Penang, KL was the only place I’ve visited.

So off we went on a Toyota RV. Good thing Uncle Ravi (husband of our boss) was driving. He had cool cd’s – he even had reggae music!

Below you will find some thoughts during the whole 4 days of my adventure.

Day 1
1. Food trip
Our road trip was literally a food trip! We had rambutan for baon. We stopped at every place we can eat, or have Te or tea (my favorite is Te Ice – like iced tea, without lemon, but with sweet milk, really lovely! I’m addicted to it actually).

2. Mata cuching
A new discovery! It looks like small chico, but tastes like lychees! So good! Sarap! Bagus! Mata Cuching’s literal English translation is “cat’s eye”, since the seed inside the fruit resembles that of a cat’s eye.

3. Temple in the limestone cave
Along the way, we passed by a mining town. It’s so sad since the town is already dying because they could not mine any minerals anymore. What they are mining now are the limestone in the mountains. You can see mountains literally chopped in half! Talk about harvesting the mountains. There was this one mountain with a Moslem temple etched in a limestone cave. It was really beautiful. Too bad I didn’t have a camera with me.

4. Chicken biscuit
The Chinese Malaysian lady from the office was raving about how delicious the Chicken Biscuit was. So, we had to make yet another pit stop just to buy the infamous chicken biscuit. The taste was quite interesting – sweet, salty, and a little oily. I found out that they actually used chicken broth in making the biscuit.

5. Moon cake
I could not recall how my love for moon cake began. Maybe it was because of Bliss, a Chinese classmate from college. Me and some of my classmates used to stay at her place for a couple of days – no, weeks – to finish some school requirements, and I think she used to serve moon cakes. It was really delicious! Especially, those with sunflower seeds and red eggs inside. So, in one of our pit stops (the chicken biscuit stop), I just had to buy a mooncake. It was quite expensive – Rm 5 for one small piece (around P75). But I was quite happy since it was pretty good and it had red eggs inside. Too bad there were no sunflower seeds.

Day 2
1. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
Unlike the first day of adventure, the second day was work, starting from 9:00 am! I was assigned as the documentor, and I did not want to miss any important discussions, so I was typing furiously the whole time. In the afternoon, I was experiencing pain in my finger joints. I got alarmed. I might have developed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome! I have to have this checked when I get back to Manila. (Yes! I’m going to Manila for a couple of days on August, yehey!!!)

2. Turtles
We went to a turtle sanctuary, and we got to see the really humongous turtles. We also saw the small baby turtles that are scheduled to be released that night. Too bad we couldn’t see the cute things being released to the water.

3. Steam boat
In the evening, we went to a Steam Boat resto (Malaysians call it Steam Bot). The concept is like an eat-all-you-can buffet. You will be seated in a round table, with all the ingredients laid out. There is a big bowl in the middle, with fire underneath. It’s actually like a hotpot, but this you will cook anyway you want. You can just dump all the ingredients in the bowl (with 2 kinds of soup – Tom Yam and clear soup) and let it simmer. The ingredients are varied – chicken, pork, fish, crab stick, quail eggs, chicken eggs, veggies, squid balls, fish ball, fish stick, crab balls, tofu. The list could go on and on. To make the story short, I got soooo full, that I had to unbutton my pants, and take deep breaths. Or else, I was really beginning to feel dizzy, and I was actually worried that I might faint. I was praying to all the saints not to let me faint because that would be too embarrassing – a Filipina woman fainted because of overeating. Kadiri!

4. Tiger beer
So… that was how beer would taste like after 20 days of being alcohol free. The last drop of beer that touched my alcoholic tongue was on June 2. After 20 days, I indulged myself and had Tiger beer. It’s not as good as SMB, but hey, beer is a beer is a beer, right?

Day 3
1. Batik Painting
Today wasn’t very exciting, except for our Batik Painting sessions. The resort where we stayed (Duta Villa) was offering batik painting. You just have to pay Rm 15 (roughly P220), then they’ll give you a canvass with a batik wax pattern and some colors. You get to color the canvass, let it dry, and take your artwork back home. I just couldn’t let this opportunity pass, so I enrolled, with Gibo (another pinoy) and Melvin (a Chilean bondying, aka. “the Chilean Lodel”). I got the pattern with the tiny turtles. We had so much fun! Coloring the canvass while drinking Tiger beer.



Day 4
1. Batik store
The session finished early so we had time for jalan-jalan (going around). We went to this batik store which had really beautiful batik items. Can’t afford to buy the pieces as the price is around Rm150 (P2,200). Too expensive for me. So I just pictures, and bought some things for Summer, mommy and Mayette, and of course, for the dyosas.

2. Bollywood movie
Before lunch, I had time to relax and watch the local channels. A bollywood movie was on. The format of these movies are amazing, much like the B-movie films back in the 80s – with lots of singing and group dancing.

3. Orang Asli
On our road trip back to Penang, we wanted to pass by the Elephant Sanctuary in Pahang. Unfortunately, the place was already tutup (closed). But a pleasant surprise is that the sanctuary is near a small kampong (village) of the Orang Asli (indigenous people). They look like the Mangyans of Mindoro – short and dark, with curly hair. They live in small houses which resembles a bahay-kubo, but with taller stilts.


4. Durian fever
The people in the van were getting quite uneasy after the filling meal of tom-yam based dishes in the very expensive (yet mediocre) Thai restaurant. So they decided to stop for durian. We parked the van and huddled in the small durian stall. They sell the durian for Rm3.30 per piece (roughly P50). I just had 1 small piece, that’s enough for me for the week. Will try to increase dosage next time. I had a grand time watching my officemates gobble the durian like they were manna from heaven.

5. Genting Highlands
On the way back, we passed by Genting Highlands. The night air was so cold, reminded me of Baguio. As the van passed by the posh subdivisions in the area, I noticed something up in the mountain on my right side. A group of brightly lit buildings were on top of the mountain. The lights were made brighter because the clouds were creating a mist amidst the building, reflecting and refracting the lights. It was a magnificent sight!!! I learned that there is a casino on top of the mountains. Below the buildings, the whole mountain is dotted by lights, which looked like stars which landed on the mountain. Talk about Las Vegas in the sky!



25 June 2006
Sunday
4:37pm
Penang

Next Stop, Wonderland

“Being alone is fine. Being alone together is perfect”.

That is the very catchy, yet truthful tagline of the British movie “Next Stop Wonderland”. It is about a lady nurse who just broke up with her fiancee, and has decided to live the life of a spinster. Her family however, led by her over eager mother has decided to put on an offensive strategy to get her back on the saddle. Her mother posted a personal ad in the paper. The ad resulted to several funny encounters and dates, including a group of blokes who wagered over who would have a successful date with her. In the end, being the smart and phenomenal girl that she is, she was able to detect the ‘big joke’. She then met a Brazilian Casanova, charming her with his wit, sense of humor and sex appeal. He asks her to go with him to Brazil, and she seriously considers his offer. All this action happened while the movie was also focusing on another character – THE GUY. The male lead, let’s call him ‘guy’, is working in the city aquarium, which houses a very popular (yet weird-looking fish), I forgot what it’s called. Then because of the guy’s desire for self-actualization I guess, he enrolled in night school, studying marine science. The movie details both characters’ (the girl and the guy) daily struggles and their quest for something more important in life. One central object in the movie is the train/subway. The major characters are always seen contemplating about their lives inside the train. Near the end of the movie, the girl finally decides to go to Brazil with Casanova. She packs her bag, picks up her ticket and hails a cab going to the airport. By the forces of nature, traffic suddenly gets jammed, that she had to go down the cab and take the train instead. She goes inside the packed train and endures the claustrophobic feeling amidst the swarm of bodies. She suddenly feels dizzy because of the maddening crowd, and misses the airport stop. She struggles to get off the train, but fails. Instead, she got blocked by the hordes of people coming in and going out of the train. Just as when she almost collapsed because of claustrophobia, she was caught by THE GUY. Incidentally, the guy did not really make an effort to get near her. Somehow, the crowd pushed him towards her, and suddenly, he was there, in front of her, with no effort at all. Right on cue, the PA system of the train announced, “Next stop, Wonderland”. (Wonderland is the name of the stop after the airport.) End of movie.

I really loved this movie. Not only because this is a really feel-good movie, a movie you would want to watch after depressing ones like Talk to Her, Leaving Las Vegas, etc. I also liked it because of the soundtrack. It features bossa nova music. That is why I developed my love for Sitti Navarro’s (the pinoy version of Bebel and Astrud Gilberto) music.

I also liked the movie because it gives hope. It shows that even if you think that you have missed your stop – and that people might be pushing you in all directions, that you just want to lie down and take a break from it all – there is still a next stop. Don’t fret for the missed opportunity. The next stop may not be where you planned to get down, but it may be better than your destination.

Sometimes, you will have moments when you just want to be resigned to the idea that what is in front of you is IT. But after watching this movie, I felt that I need to wait for things that are really meant for me. I should not settle for things that don’t feel right, for these are just crumbs. The whole loaf is there for the taking. I just have to learn to decipher the crumbs from the loaf (which is actually not a hard thing to do! Sometimes, we just refuse to see it). When you feel lost and alone amidst a crowd of nameless faces who try to push you, stand your ground, minimize resistance, be open to getting down on the stop next stop. After all, it could be Wonderland.


17 June 2006
Saturday
12:26am
Penang

I love Grace because…

Due to boredom caused by my being unemployed for the last 2 months, I have been spending a lot of time surfing the net, and reading other people’s blog entries. I’ve read some blogsites that are really interesting, some even informative. Most interesting blogs I’ve read are from the UP Diliman Literature professors.

During one of my blog-reading sessions, I chanced upon this entry which encourages the readers to try googling (root word: google) the phrase “I love {type in your name} because”. Because of curiosity and boredom, I tried it, but used my second name (Grace). I realized that Norly is not a very popular name, and the search result yielded zero hits. Here are some of my favorite hits:

** I love Grace because...she writes me random notes with pirate lyrics in them.
(Coincidentally, I love writing random notes. Sometimes, the notes are so random that they seem incoherent.)

*** I love Grace because of the products and the getting in on the ground floor business opportunity.
(Products? If I were a product, what kind of product would I be? I wonder…)

*** I love Grace because she RENTED The Graduate.
(Hmmm… I don’t think I’ve watched that movie. Must make a mental note to buy DVD one of these days.)

*** I love Grace because she make laugh and that makes me phlegmy.
(Someone really special told me that I make him laugh, and that thought really made me happy. Phlegmy? Now that is a contradiction. How can one make you laugh and passive/unemotional at the same time? Hmmm… )

*** I love GRACE, because it's good and it's something free, given to all who don't deserve it at all. Given to me.
(This one’s my favorite! i am for free, even for the undeserving! hahaha!)


Now, your turn. Go and google! You will definitely be amused. Email me for really interesting hits.



10 June 2006
Saturday
09:05pm
Penang

Kindred Spirits

Sometimes you meet a kindred spirit, seeming to know you, understand you and feel you. It makes one alive, knowing that one’s existence is validated by another soul, so much alike one’s own. It is such a fulfilling emotion, feeling that person’s soul, touching the other’s spirit, knowing that whatever experiences in the past, and whatever possibilities in the future, things will be the same, the soul and spirit will be aligned, will be in tune, dancing to the same harmony.

Here are some ramblings inspired by my kindred spirit…

“I’ve met a kindred spirit. But he’s restless as I am, trying to find answers. I’m afraid to immerse myself into this emotional abyss. I might fall deeply that I can’t resurface. Lucky are those who can find kindred souls, and be forever consumed by the desire to remain in a state of hopeless abandon.”

“As the barge bid goodbye to the warm sand, and embraced the soothing waves. I did the same. I said farewell to a mundane and trivial emotion, and embraced the intensity of another being’s spirit. And as the barge sailed, the wind completely washed off the stains of the past, and whispered hopes for the future.”


(date and place withheld)

artwork

below are pictures of my attempt in art...

Dizzy

watermelons in watercolor

fruit basket

sideview

indian landscape -- view from my room

silya ni Van Gogh

science experiment

Aftershocks – after the tremor

I am most afraid of earthquakes. It reminds me of how people like us are the mercy of the forces of nature. No amount of wealth, power, beauty and love can save one from the wrath of earthquakes. It is a very powerful and malevolent equalizer.

These tremors, no matter how low in intensity, always leave me in a state of utter panic. Once the ground starts shaking, and furnitures move around, I want to scream my head off and run… run to anywhere safe, stable and quiet. But at the back of my mind, I know that no place is safe at that moment, I will feel the tremors no matter where I am. I envision scenarios where buildings collapse, trees get uprooted, the ground opens up, and swallows cars and people. These morbid thoughts I always associate with earthquakes.

Then there are those we call aftershocks. These are the tremors we feel a little after the major earthquake. Aftershocks happen because the newly-moved rock has to be settled. These are most often lower in intensity and less disastrous, but can still do damage to lives and properties. I know that I should be more calm and composed since aftershocks are just that… minor tremors after the major shock. But somehow, I feel the same sense of panic and fright during these aftershocks. The dangerous thing about aftershocks is that these are unpredictable and can catch people off guard.

Aftershocks scare me – whether from the earthquake or from a major emotional disaster. After a really hurtful heartbreak, I relieve the experience of the actual heart-wrenching situation each and every time these “aftershocks” come. The sad thing is, these emotional aftershocks do not come minutes after the big tremor. It comes weeks and even months after – at times when you feel that one is finally at peace and can move on, when one is alone, when one is amidst a busy crowd, when one is at the height of the toxicity at work – it does not have a fixed timeframe, situation, trigger, nor a reason. It just comes – mocking you and bringing that same deep-in-the abyss feeling that you thought you have gotten over with, that you have forgotten. It makes you feel unsafe and vulnerable.

The sad part is, I feel the same intense panic, shock and confusion each and every time these emotional aftershocks happen. The evil ghosts of the past continue to show their ugly selves and desperately try to make me remember how painful and hurting the experience is.

But now I know better, aftershocks are just there to make you remember that once in your life, there were these tremors. But they cannot hurt you anymore, they are just there as persistent reminders that in life, tremors will come. We just have to be ready and strong when it does come. And that aftershocks are necessary, for all the debris and memories to finally settle down.


27 May 2006
Saturday
07:51pm
QC

On my birthday…

Every year, during my birthday, I am used to waiting for greetings and messages from friends, deriving joy and strength from their words of encouragement, appreciation and love. This year, I want to be able to express how I feel for friends like you.

I am very blessed to have known people like you. I am glad that you have been part of this journey that I call life. No matter how bumpy and winding the road may be, I am cushioned by your constant love and dedication. No matter how many times I’ve wanted to give up because I’ve made another wrong turn, your words have navigated me and guided me to the right direction.

If I have offended you in some way, my apologies.

If I have done something for you, I promise to do it better next time.

Thank you for being a friend, and thank you for allowing me to be one of yours.

Thank you very much. I am eternally grateful.




9:35pm
Sunday
21 May 2006
my bed, QC