Tirisin ang nunal!

I have said this time and again… I am apolitical.

Being a “iskolar ng bayan”, one would expect that I have attended mobilizations and rallies when I was in college. Having worked for an NGO for almost 10 years, people actually expect me to be connected with a political organization or party.

That is why it comes as a surprise when I tell people that I have only attended one rally in my whole college life – and it was about the UP presidency, then my second and last rally was during Edsa 2. It comes as a greater surprise when I tell people that I am not even familiar with the spectrum of the political parties here in the Philippines.

I do not want to be affiliated with any political party or movement. I am content in my own apolitical world.

However, on days like this, I wish I was more political.

Tomorrow is Bonifacio day – the day of the nation’s true revolutionary hero. And today, the Magdalo group, headed by the charismatic Trillanes, decided that they (again) want to assert that they want change – a change in the government. The group, together with some civilians, like Guigona, Father Reyes and some civil society groups, have taken over Pensinsula Manila, and asked for Gloria to step down. I wanted to personally shake their hands to congratulate them. I know that there are millions of people who would want Gloria out of Malacanang, but only Trillanes (and the rest of his colleagues) actually have the balls to fearlessly (albeit recklessly) call for this change.

The paranoid government, through the blood-thirsty military, did an overkill by forcibly arresting Trillanes and his group, hurting civilians in the process. They even rammed a military vehicle in front of the hotel just to get inside! How stupid is that!!!

I am not feeling too well, but I wanted to go to Makati to show my support for the group! I wanted to slap Gloria in the face to make her realize that people don’t want her as president! I wanted to round up all her advisers and minions, and throw them all out to the sea!

Naiinis ako! Gusto kong tirisin si Gloria! Gusto kong alisin ang nunal nya! @*&&^$&*%!!!! Ahhh… it feels much better to say what I want in tagalog… mas may feelings.

I salute Guigona… for braving the rain, and supporting Trillanes. The poor, old man… he looked pale and sickly.

I salute the Magdalo soldiers… for not losing their idealism.

I salute Trillanes… for being reckless… for being charismatic… for being fearless. Trillanes, sir, I promise to vote for you for president, if you do intend to run in the future.

You have my vote… because you have the balls.


08:35 pm
29 Nov
Quezon City

Will Lightning Strike?

Several months back, I got a text from a friend. When I asked him if he was with someone, he said “No, still waiting for her. Who knows, lightning could strike”, or something to that effect. I honestly did not know what he was talking about. Was he going nuts, and wanted thousands of volts of electricity to pass through his body? Did he really want to get burned in the process? Did he want to experience the excruciating pain? Did he want to die?

A few days ago, Meet Joe Black was on cable tv. I’ve always wanted to watch this movie since last year. Aside from hunky Brad, my interest to watch this film was because my friend told me that his line (“Who knows, lightning could strike”), was from that movie.

Turned out the line was from Bill Parrish (Anthony Hopkins), the father of the lead actress, Joe’s (Pitt) love interest in the movie. Dad was giving her daughter some pointers about love and life. He said that love should be something really special, that she should fall in love with someone who she can love like crazy. He said that she should be swept away and levitate, to sing with rapture and be deliriously happy. She should run the risk. He was advising his daughter not to settle – for less, for crumbs, for just the ordinary. Then he said that line, “Stay open. Who knows, lightning could strike.”

Now I fully understand what my friend was talking about. There is wisdom in the father’s advice. Waiting for lightning to strike takes a lot of patience and maturity. Sometimes, it’s too tempting to just settle for what we see, not knowing that there is something really special which is intended for us. We go into a panic just because we don’t see any sign of lighting in the horizon. Sometimes, we get too preoccupied brooding over the dark clouds, that we immediately seek shelter, expecting strong rains or a storm. Sometimes, I think it’d better if we bravely face the dark clouds and wait patiently… for the lighting to strike. And if it doesn’t on the first try, we wait for it again the following day.

Lighting, like any other emotion, should not be something we should be afraid of. If it strikes, we should embrace it and be thankful that we experienced it. If it doesn’t, we patiently wait for it to come. If it struck the first time and got us really burned, we take it as one of life’s lessons and hope that it strikes again. Because this time, we know better.

But what if it doesn’t strike at all?



02:07 pm
17 Nov
Aritao, Nueva Vizcaya
(mobile)

Incoherence

Spring cleaning with sibling
Taking away old things and forgetting memories

Mother arrives
Looking for baby

Panics and looks for bleeding baby
Goes out of the room

Exchanged pleasantries with mother
Asked about a dear friend, made my heart feel warm

Looked for the baby
Orange monkeys abound

Monkeys touching me
Feigned calmness and non-panic

Big monkey kept touching, stroking, fondling
Stress and panic overcomes me

Found myself in bed
With monkey?

Not anymore
With an uglier beast called man

More touching, fondling, stroking
Can’t breath

The beast seemed like a familiar figure
Someone I’ve met

Tried to shout for help
Muffled cries came out

High pitched ringing in the background
A cloud of haze then darkness covered me

Opened my eyes
It was morning


09:20 am
02 Aug
Santiago City

Panic

Do you ever have that feeling of utter panic? That things will not be the same ever? That your life has suddenly decided to stop or run in reverse? That you will be alone and miserable for the rest of your life? That things will not be rosy and ideal for you?

I have that feeling now.

I hope this is just a feeling.


29 July 2007
Saturday
02:08 pm
Santiago City, Isabela

Salamat

I would like to tell all my wonderful friends that I feel so lucky to have them. I know this sounds really mushy, but they deserve to know that I appreciate the littlest things they do and say.

Salamat, wag sanang mapagod.


22 July 2007
Sunday
11:30 am
Santiago City, Isabela

Ubo ubo…

I’m sick.

I’ve been sick since 2 weeks ago.

I don’t want to be sick.

I’m sick of being sick.



12 July 2007
Thursday
09:10 pm
Fairview, Quezon City

The Sweety/Sweaty Experience

My friends and I have this habit of making people guess our real age. This is because we know that they would say that we look years younger that we actually are. We’re only 28 (go figure our real age hehehe), but we feel that we’re 23. That is why sometimes, we still do and say things that only 23 year olds would.

A few days ago, I, together with 2 other phenomenal dyosas went to Palawan for a huling-hirit-for-summer vacation. We had purchased our ticket way back in February to avail of the Cebu Pacific promo (P2,700 for a return ticket to Puerto Prinsesa!). And since we felt that we are still young, we decided to go backpacking. We took the ordinary bus from Puerto to El Nido. That’s 8 glorious hours of dust, dirt and sun.

We had fun in El Nido. We met a lot of very interesting people, saw a lot of lovely places and ate lots of cheap food.

On the way back from El Nido to Puerto, we took a different bus line, Sweety Transport (we took Eulen Joy Bus going to El Nido). 8 hours of bus ride, I can take. Maybe a flat tire or 2 would not bother me. But the supposedly Sweety experience became a really sweaty one.

The first Sweaty Experience: flat tire. This is not uncommon, really. And the driver and his minion were quite experienced in changing flat tires (I think they do this at least once every trip).

The second Sweaty Experience: no gas. How can people forget to load on gas??? We were all inside the bus, all sweaty, hot and frustrated. There were 3 Brits with us, 1 Irish lady, a European-sounding, but Asian-looking couple, mothers, fathers and a lot of noisy kids. The kunduktor was able to buy fuel from a nearby gasoline station, and in no time, we were on our way.

The third Sweaty Experience: machine break down. Flat tires and no gas – these can easily be solved. But what do we do when the engine decides to rest, permanently? I had a headache, backpain, and stomach ache. I never thought that it would be possible to feel even more frustrated, but I did. We couldn’t do much but to wait for another bus or jeepney to transfer to.

After almost one hour of waiting under the heat of the Palawan sun, we were able to hitch a ride in a pick-up truck. It was airconditioned inside, so it was pure bliss. Immediately, my headache and stomach ache miraculously disappeared.

So much for backpacking. Next time I go somewhere else, I would not dream of riding an ordinary bus. From now on, no more sweaty experience for me. And yes, from now on, no more lying about my age. I’m actually 30 (bwahahaha!).


04 July 2007
Wednesday
09:35 am
Fairview, Quezon City

Jab, hook, straight

Yes, folks (all 7 of you, yes, nadagdagan na ang readers), I have another addiction – boxing. I never thought that I have this tendency to be addicted, but I knew even before that I have this tendency to become fixated and obsessed.

Just a few months ago, I became addicted to photography (read my previous blog entries). And now, I am addicted to boxing. I’ve been into different health regimen and programs before – gym, walking, belly dancing, jazz dancing. But I think boxing is the most interesting. It gives me that sense of empowerment that I can actually punch the punching bag (and the trainer if he becomes really strict hehehe). It is a great cardio and endurance workout. I feel that I’m sweating my fats off (maybe I am, look at Juday now!).

I’ve bought myself hand wraps and boxing gloves. I’ve also paid my membership to Elorde Boxing Gym in Katipunan Extension. I like Elorde since it is a no-nonsense gym, not like the usual yuppie gym where a lot of goers are just there to hook up with someone. At Elorde, you get a personal trainer every time you train. The people (mostly women) are all hell-bent on losing weight or learning the sport, so it feels like a real boxing gym.

I have a really good feeling about boxing. Who knows, after a few months, I could also be a model for Fitrum (hahaha, wish ko lang).



23 June 2007
Saturday
05:57 pm
Fairview, QC

Blogging

I started writing for my blogsite as an exercise in free-writing. I’ve been writing technical stuff for 10 years now, and I got worried that I might not be able to write human interest articles again. That is why I started to write about emotions, observations and everyday experiences.

However, after stumbling upon a blogsite, I felt very juvenile and irrelevant. This guy (itago natin sya sa pangalang ‘Guy’) really writes well, and I mean really well. Sometimes, I don’t completely understand his writings, but it sounds so melodious that I cannot help but to read it again and again.

After I read several of his entries, I re-read my blog entries. And I wanted to delete my whole blogsite! Why couldn’t I write pieces like such? My entries seemed so shallow and trivial.

I am not pretending to be a literary person (on the contrary, I am very much into pop culture), but I do wish that I can write even just a single piece with so much poetry. And I’ve been trying, without much luck. I guess I still am waiting for that elusive muse. Or maybe, I just really can’t.


17 June 2007
Sunday
11:36 pm
Fairview, Quezon City

Mama, para po…

Yesterday, after more than a year, I rode a jeepney again. Not that I belong to the sosyal crowd, believe me, I’m as jologs as jologs can be. I’ve been away for a while and there are no jeepneys in that island.

From Fairview, I took the jeepney going to Cubao via Kalayaan Avenue. I only paid P16 for the entire trip. That means I saved around P140! I usually pay P160 from City Hall to Fairview. If I take jeepney instead of a cab, I would be saving around P6,000 per month! That means after 5 months, I can buy my precious DSLR!

But do I really want to take the jeepney everyday?

Sorry for sounding snobbish, but I’ve had very bad experiences as a commuter. One time, a crazy woman decided to be super friendly with me, talking to me during the whole trip. She was talking in straight English. Based on her stories, I think she lost her son from a disease, and that no one helped her during this crisis. How sad! After a few minutes of talking to me, she decided that we were really close, and she offered me the piece of chicken leg bone (drumstick) perpetually stuck in her mouth. I wanted to jump off the window!

Another time, on my way home to Project 8, a drunk man boarded the jeepney, and unfortunately sat beside a police officer. Being dead drunk, the man was resting his head in the policeman. This irritated the trigger happy police officer. He took out his gun and started shouting at the drunk man. This caused panic among the passengers. The driver stopped the jeepney in the middle of Espana, in front of UST. The trigger happy police officer was only appeased when the drunk man went down the jeepney.

I’ve also been a victim of snatching – twice my necklace was snatched, and once my bracelet.

Flat tire, no gas, weak brakes – these were only a few of the “experiences” I had with jeepneys.

So for now, I think my car would be the best bet – no drunk men (except for friends after a night of partying) and no crazy women (except for the me).

For anecdotes about my car… that would be an entirely different story.



6:20pm
10 June 2007
Sunday
Santiago City, Isabela

liars go to hell

sabi mo...

yun pala hindi.

bato ka nang bato...

baka tamaan ako.

where is my muse?

i've been trying to write and sketch. but i can't seem to find my groove.

i need my muse!

where is my muse?

B.U.M.

It’s official. I’m a bum. Yes folks (yes, all 5 of you, regular readers), I belong to the statistics – I’m jobless and almost penniless. But the thing is, I’m not very worried… not yet anyway.

I’ve been in the Philippines for 1 week now, but I still haven’t enjoyed being a bum. I still had to do some work for my previous organization. I also had to help my sister with her business.

Being a bum is not easy, I realized. There are actually a lot of things which can occupy your time – flickr (my new addiction), yahoo chat, friendster, inquirer.news.tv, and lots of personal blog sites. Yes, I am a cyber stalker hahaha!

My brain has decided to go on vacation mode. Can’t think of anything to write. Will try in a few days.

I love being a bum!


28 May 2007
Moday
09:40 pm
Santiago City, Isabela

paalam na...

good bye, Penang! :)

Anniversary

Please indulge me, but I’m feeling nostalgic tonight.

I could not believe that I’ve already spent one year of my life here in Penang. I, who never planned to live somewhere outside the Philippines, have survived one whole year in another country. Now, this calls for a celebration!

Penang is not exactly my favorite place, and like I said in my previous entry, it has not grown on me. But still, I feel nostalgic. And I have this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach that I might actually miss this little island.

I’ve already packed my trusty blue luggage. All my important stuff are there, Lewis included. (Lewis is my dust-buster-cum-laptop-cleaner stuffed leopard.) Too bad Tippy went home earlier. He could have made a great traveling buddy for Lewis.

We haven’t told our regular cab driver, Mr. Hanifa, that we are leaving Penang for good. Marjo said that we’ll just do it tomorrow. She says she hates goodbyes. I don’t really hate goodbyes, it just makes me sad.

Destiny has a funny way of remixing things – someone’s past is another’s future. It’s been a quiet (and sometimes monotonous) past for me. I hope the next Pinoy who will be taking over my post will have a better and grander future.

Countdown: 8 days



13 May 2007
Sunday
10:15 pm
Penang

Big Yellow Taxi

“Big yellow taxi.”

On more than a few occasions, I’ve said this phrase to friends.

“Big yellow taxi” – when one friend told me that he misses his ex-girlfriend for 6 years, who he dumped, then he saw holding hands with another guy in Makati after a month.

“Big yellow taxi” – when another friend told me he has difficulty letting go of his long-time fling. That jerk!

“Big yellow taxi” – when a college friend lamented that she sorely misses her grandmother who recently passed away, but who she neglected to visit for the last 4 years.

“Big yellow taxi” – when I, myself have this longing for something or someone who I’ve neglected and brushed aside.

How many times in our lives have we experienced this “sayang” moment. It is indeed excruciating when we know that this thing or person that we dearly want to have cannot be ours anymore.

That is what I call a “big yellow taxi” moment.

Why “big yellow taxi”?

There’s this song entitled Big Yellow Taxi by Counting Crows. The only line I can distinctly remember from this song is “You don’t know what you got, til it’s gone”. It talks about converting paradise into parking lots, and using DDT (pesticides) in your food. This song was incidentally used in the movie 30 Days Notice, starring Sandra Bullock, an activist fighting against the demolition of an old building in their community. Ok, my interpretation of the song may be inaccurate, but interpretations are always subjective hehehe.

Cliché as it may sound, this line is so true! We take things and people for granted, until the time that they decide to leave and move on, deciding not to take things sitting down, and finally stand up for themselves. We push in the backseat things and individuals because we think that they will always be there. But when fate decides to play a trick on us, and makes the wheel turn, our world comes to a halt, or worse, spins the opposite direction.

I would not want to say this to myself one more time. So before I get another “big yellow taxi” moment, I would like to say that I will miss Penang – or at least some things about it.

If you’ve been following my blog entries, you will notice that Penang hasn’t “grown on me”. Unlike Julia Campbell (bless her soul) in her blog entries (www.juliainthephilippines.blogspot.com) about her life as an expat in the Phillipines, I haven’t got too many kind words about Penang. All I wrote about are how trapped I feel here, how my life went on pause, and how I’m longing for my life in the Philippines.

The truth is, the past 2 weeks, I’ve been looking at Penang with fresh and kinder eyes. Now that I know that I’ll be leaving soon, I suddenly realized how beautiful Penang is.

So, I decided to make a list of the things that I will miss about Penang:
1. Mr. Hanifa, our trusted driver and friend. He is our grandfather-cum-driver-cum-tourguide-cum-pimp. (He set me up on a blind date with a Chinese Malaysian!).
2. Popia, the Chinese version of the fresh lumpia. This is made special by Auntie Popia or Grandma Popia (we don’t know her name), who meticulously prepares each piece that we order for ta pao (take out).
3. Penang Bridge, the longest bridge in Asia, which still amazes me until now
4. Bak-kuah, the ultimate pork experience. Sweet and salty, this marinated pork is so tender and tasty, I can eat it every meal!
5. Pretty, charming and grand colonial houses which dot the Georgetown area
6. Cheap call and sms rates – the best in the region, I think.
7. No traffic and pollution – need I say more?
8. Blue skies – I think Malaysian sunsets are always beautiful because of its clear skies.
9. Trees and birds, still plenty in this part of Malaysia.
10. Komtar, that hideous monster of a building, towering over the quaint Georgetown.

I’m sure that when I go back to the Philippines, I can make this list grow tenfold. But for now, this is enough… enough for me not to bang my head in the wall and say “big yellow taxi”.

For my favorite photos of Penang, visit:
http://new.photos.yahoo.com/norlygrace/album/576460762400401286

For the complete lyrics of Big Yellow Taxi:
http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/lyrics/big_yellow_taxi.html



04 May 2007
Friday
11:01 pm
Penang (re-run of AI is on the local channel. Blake rocked!)

Do you have what it takes?

Recently, I’ve discovered a love for things I’ve never had any interest before – for kimchi and photography (see previous posts). Although I don’t dislike kimchi now, I won’t say that I’m addicted to it. Photography, however, is different. I am totally in love with photography. I guess this stems from my frustration in my art work. There are just some things that I cannot paint or sketch, like beautiful landscapes or magnificent sunsets. And I discovered that I can still capture these captivating works of nature through the lens.

But I am slowly realizing that being a photographer is not at all easy. You have to ask yourself, “Do you have what it takes?”. Having an “eye” for things is not enough. You have to have this X factor in photography. You have to have guts and a certain level of detachment and brashness.

I remember in the movie “Before Sunset”, Julie (the female lead) was talking about her non-committing photographer boyfriend. She says that he goes on a trance when he starts to photograph things. He becomes totally detached to people, treating them as subjects.

You can’t be a photographer if you are timid and attached. Sometimes, you have to pry into people’s lives, encroaching into their minds and emotions, looking into their eyes and souls, and immortalizing into photographs their vulnerabilities and weaknesses. This takes a lot of courage, much conviction and total dedication to one’s craft.

I still have this hesitation to take photos of people in the streets, of children innocently playing around, of old people walking aimlessly about, of couples doing what lovers do. I don’t know if I can be attached enough to capture their emotions, but at the same time detached, so as not to drown in other people’s sorrows and jubilation. I am still asking myself, “Do I have what it takes?”.



24 April 2007
Tuesday
3:05 pm
Penang (at the office)

Kimchi Convert

There are just things that I hate, smells that I abhor and tastes that I would never like. Cheza – that icky yellow fruit – it tops this list. Also papaya, labanos (radish), and kimchi. Just the sight and slightest smell of these makes me want to puke my guts out.

Let me tell you how deep my hatred for kimchi is. Everytime I pass by the cold section in the supermarket and see a bottle of kimchi, I feel nauseated and sick. Everytime I eat at Greenhouse, a restaurant in Quezon City frequented by Koreans, I always fish out my cologne from my bag, ready to spray cologne everywhere. I hate how kimchi smells. I hate everything about it!

But tonight, I’ve become a convert – a kimchi convert! Working in a development-oriented organization means meeting people from different countries. Yesterday, one of our Korean partners left boxes of kimchi at the office. My pinoy housemates love kimchi, and Marjo decided to bring home some for tonight’s dinner.

She was coaxing me to try her kimchi in exchange for Purefoods corned beef (a very valuable delicacy for OFWs). So I braced my tastebuds and smell glands for a very traumatic experience. Surprisingly, after smelling the reddish concoction, I didn’t feel like I wanted to throw up. So I took the next step, got a small piece, and bravely placed it in my mouth. What do you know, I didn’t hate it! It actually tastes good – a bit sour, spicy hot and tangy.

So I enjoyed the rest of the meal with kimchi, Purefoods corned beef and Lorin’s alamang bagoong (another precious delicacy). The meal was perfect, almost heavenly.

Marjo and I decided that my hatred for kimchi was just because I had bad, low quality kimchi the first time. And as with any other experience, the first time is the most memorable.

So now, I am a self confessed convert. I am glad that I ended this more-than-a-decade-long hatred for kimchi. Tonight will go down in history, as the night that I re-discovered kimchi.

(It’s just ironic that after having kimchi for dinner, the Korean student who massacred students was on tv. How could one country be related to something as gastronomically pleasurable as kimchi, and to someone as psychologically disturbed and destructive as this Korean student? But then, this boy lived most of his life in the US, not in Korea. Maybe they served bad kimchi in the US. Stop it, Norly. Sorry, bad joke.)


18 April 2007
Wednesday
9:03 pm
Penang

Vagabond Photographs

I’ve never thought of myself as a vagabond, a drifter, a wanderer. I’ve always fancied myself as someone who needs and wants stability and monotony, someone who needs to be around people all the time.

I guess I’ve changed. Or I must have known myself better.

I now have this craving to go places, even if I’m alone. I will not feel lonely because I will be looking at things and people through the lens of my camera, Ixty (short for Ixus 60).

I am now nurturing my love affair my new basic point-and-shoot digicam. I never had an interest in photography before. And I did not care whether I had a camera with me when I travel. As long as I have my ever-reliable N6600, then I can go places. I went to India and Singapore alone, awed at how photogenic these places were, especially the village scenes in rural India. I took some photos with my camera phone, and was quite happy with the pixelated photos I had. But now, on hindsight, it would have been amazing if I had a decent digital camera with me.

In 35 days, I would be going back to the Philippines. And I am really excited to take photos of the places and people back home. I am even excited to go home to my hometown and capture its simple beauty through Ixty’s lens.

Together with my dyosas, we booked a flight to Palawan as early as last month. We will have our Palawan escapade in two months, and I feel that Ixty too, is trembling with excitement at this prospect.

Baguio is another place where Ixty and I will nurture our affair. One week in this charming city would mean gigabytes of new photos. Pure bliss!

Here are some photos from Ixty and me:

http://new.photos.yahoo.com/norlygrace/albums

Bicol, Pearl farm, India and Singapore photos – from N6600
Bali photos – by Ram



14 April 2007
Saturday
02:05 pm
Penang

new toy

i found a new toy! try to link your flickr account to http://www.dumpr.net. really fun! here's a sample:



here's another one:



you can visit my flickr website at:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/norlygrace/

at least, my photo is now in a virtual museum. now, it's your turn...