January is a bad month

i just realized, all my kurowt-kirowt moments are always in january:

January 2005 - Dahil kay K
January 2007 - Dahil kay B
January 2009 - Dahil kay T
January 2011 - Dahil kay M

next year, this will all change. January will be a good month for me.


6:45pm
14 January 2011
Friday
Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Toast

(free writing)

*this is my wish for 2 good friends who are about to tie the knot*

again, congratulations to the both of you! i am so glad i am here now, making this wish for you.

flashback to 2 years ago... things were very different.

it was in December 2008 when they were introduced... Henry's Grill in Teacher's Village. then next in Trellis Resto also in Teacher's Village.

it was in Trellis that i felt that there was sumthin sumthin between them. she was fidgety and he was more than friendly. hmmm...

when he left, i remember her saying... "How nice it would be to hug someone". i thought... yun na yun!

then he became more visible in our gimicks and activities, after having been almost unreachable for 2 years!

he started giving out home-made yoghurts...

we are suddenly invited to a lot of dinners and coffees and shoots...

they suddenly both had suncellular phones...

we were like watching a telenovela unfold right before our eyes... over pasta and adobo... over wine and cheese... over beer and sisig.

she used to tell me that she is afraid to jump (into the relationship). she cannot simply follow her mentor's advice to "Lundagin mo, baby". she said that she's afraid to jump, because there might be no one to catch her when she falls.

you should not be afraid now. you can jump as high as you can, with eyes closed or with eyes wide open. you don't have to look for someone to catch you. because now, you both have each other, to hold hands, while going for the jump.

so for you both...

May you experience passion beyond your wildest imagination.

May you continue to find love for each other in places that astound you.

May you go barefoot more than you wear shoes.

May you laugh harder than you cry.

May you discover more happy corners together.

May you never, ever stop dreaming... loving.. jumping.

congratulations again!

jump!... lagto!... lumpat!... lundag!

Taguan

Olly olly oxen free...




11:30pm
Friday
10 December 2010
Human Rights Day
Dharamshala, India

bato

para sa iyo, Nonoy...

bato ka nang bato... baka tamaan ako...

bughaw

and i ask you...

what do you do when you got the blues?

la dolce far niente

note:
this is a letter sent to my Dyosas (a group of empowered, wonderful, phenomenal women)



la dolce far niente.

i haven't done this for the longest time.

i saw Eat Pray Love last night. i realized that i've taken for granted life's simples pleasures for too long -- just lying on my bed, listening to soothing music, eating lazily and slowly, people watching, engaging in talks about life and existence.

i'm like a stone on a constant roll. i think it's time to gather some moss.

if i'm not working hard, i'm usually partying hard.

now i'm ready... for lafang, luhod, landi (Girard's version of Eat Pray Love).

it's a sunday today.

i'm on the daybed, listening to Up Dharma Down, sipping white coffee from Penang, reading the lifestyle section of the Bangkok Post, checking ONLY my personal mails and social networking sites.

i can say that i've found my balance -- between working and playing. now, i'm ready to lose that balance. Ds, i guess it's time to cross over, to gather some moss, to toss up your heart, and just see where it lands. (well, i guess Mai and Imee will be doing this soon).

happy sunday, Ds! enjoy la dolce far niente :)


31 October 2010
Sunday
Lad Prao Soi 1

Of loving and flying

Seen from a friend's Facebook status:

Love, is a lot like airports. Its characterized by arrivals and departures. But for the most part, its about waiting. What matters is what we do in between.
- Ramille Andag

Photo:
Suvarnabhumi Airport
Bangkok

Never Bored

I wonder how some people can get bored with their lives.

I never get bored.

In fact, I feel that there's so many things that I want to do (read books, watch movies, sketch, read photography articles), but can't... because there's simply not enough time.

With work, frequent travels, Thai language class, social networking sites (Facebook and Twitter), maintenance of Kiddie Toes Montessori School's website, meeting and talking to friends... my life is sooo full!

I always find myself needing more hours in a day, that I had to make a daily schedule (and yes, that's the OC in me). In fact, my friends tease me for having this hourly schedule and alarm... they say I need to schedule even when I breathe. I just find a great deal of satisfaction when at the end of the day, I see that I've crossed out almost all of the things in my "To Do List".

So what's the point in this ranting? I will never understand how people can get bored in their lives. There's just too many things to discover, too many places to see, and too many experiences to try.

Simply put... there's not enough time.


8:40pm
20 October 2010
Wednesday
Lad Prao Soi 1
Fairyland

Tamad

Tamad... Lazy...

That's what I have been for the past months. The last piece I wrote was my necrological speech for Daddy. That was 9 months ago! What's wrong with me?

I can't say that I have nothing to talk about, because since then, I've got my passport stamped 18 times.

I can't say that I haven't met new friends because I've met more than 20 new friends since then.

I can't say that I haven't experienced new unforgettable things. On the contrary, I've visited my family and friends in Seattle...met US Senator Nancy Pelosi... experienced the pain of Indonesian Kerokan... partied in a gay pub... got fondled by a gay guy... tasted fried flowers... walked with the Red Shirt rallyists... had a picture with one of the Red Shirt leaders... enrolled in Thai language class... went to a male show in Silom... experienced 2 weeks of curfew in Bkk... spent my bday in a really expensive bar overlooking Bkk and wearing a really nice dress... met a Cambodian cab driver in DC who lived in Palawan as a refugee... visited the Killing Fields... and so much more!

My life is so full.

Maybe it's so full that I don't know how to put all these experiences into writing.

So I will need to muster enough inspiration to write... write... and write some more. But in the meantime, I invite you visit my Facebook site and my Flickr site.



5:55pm
10 October 2010
Sunday
Lad Prao Soi 1

Notes for Daddy

I was able to get into Daddy's yahoo and facebook account. I kept browsing his inbox hoping to find something, anything which will remind me of him when he was still alive.

And I found these two messages from his younger sisters:

FROM EVA
Subject: Manong Emmong

I was shocked when we heard the sad news, I told Myrna, and Nora right away and they were speechless. Our favorite brother is gone...forever but you will always be in our hearts.You talked to each one of us on New Year's Eve, that's was a long talked, the first time you did, your voice seemed very strong and well, yun pala yun na ang last na pag-uusap natin.You were Inang's favorite of all the 7 siblings because you were so sickly when you were young but we did not get jealous, instead we spoiled you and gave you all the love. Imagine growing up with 4 sisters! That was fun di ba? You were always nice and kind to us very soft spoken, funny and you always help us in our math homeworks, because you're the best in math.I remember when u came to visit us here in Los Angeles, Nora and Myrna were so excited. We showed you around and everyday we were very hospitable enough to show you all the nice places here. We knew you were very tired but very happy because at least you were with your three younger sisters again. That was a short visit and memorable. Manong Guilly, wherever you are, we love you so much and still the favorite brother. You will be missed.

Your ading,
Eva


FROM MYRNA
Subject: for you

"For my brother EMMONG, you were a very good person inside and out, loved by a lot of peaple. you will be missed by the whole family I want to say i love you, and i know that you are now in the good hands of GOD our creator. missing you,

from your sister
myrna

My new favorite quote

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny

(Mao Zedong)


Cable-landia
14 Sept

Muse

here i am...

still looking for my muse...

i think i saw him...

but am i his?



7:45pm
08 September, 2010
Wednesday
My shoebox , Sunny Villas

Home

I.
Want.
To.
Go.
Home.
Now!



10:20pm
22 Aug
Sunday
Ladprao Soi 1

photo source: internet

Tired

I'm beyond tired.

I'm exhausted, fatigued, weary, sleepy...

I want to sleep... to hibernate



5:10pm
15 Aug 2010
Sunday
Lad Prao Soi 1

Juicy

Times like these, i need a Juicy...

In the meantime

What do you do...

While you're in the meantime?

When you are in between?

While you are in transit?

What do you do?



12:10am
28 July 2010
Wednesday
Chiang Mai

Call

Call me when you get this...

How does it feel being in these arms?
what's it really like to be loved?
i've been alone now, how long?
have you ever loved the way that i have?
and i have often wondered who,
who could love you the way i do?

now i just want you to know, how i'm touched deep in my soul just being with you.
and i need you more each day.
baby, if you're still awake,
call me when you get this.

i've got all this poetry now i didn't know then.
i kept inside. guess i had never seen anything beautiful
till i first saw you asleep at night.
and i have often wondered who,
who could love you the way i do?

now i just want you to know,
how i'm touched deep in my soul
just being with you.
and i need you more each day.
baby, if you're still awake,
call me when you get this.

i just wanted to know what it was like, what's it really like to be loved?
these little volcanoes came as a surprise to me.
i never thought i could be this way.
and i have been cautious and i've tried to keep to myself, but who could love you the way i do?

now i just want you to know, how i'm touched deep in my soul.
just being with you.
so much more each day,
baby, if you're still awake,
call me when you get this

Rain

I ask...
Is there a pot of gold?

But more importantly...
Will there ever be a rainbow?


10:15pm
13 July 2010
Tuesday
In transit to Cable-landia

Hope

Today, i am hopeful.

Today, something tugged my heart.

Today, a song gave me goosebumps.

Today, i shed a tear while singing.

Today, i vowed to be more vigilant.

Today, my hatred for injustice became greater.

Today, i committed to do my part.

Today, i felt how it is to be a Filipino.

Today feels like a new day.



8:35pm
30 June 2010
Wednesday
My Shoebox, Gotham

THE GREATEST ADVICE

By Rick Warren, the Purpose Driven Life



Don’t date because you are desperate.

Don’t marry because you are miserable.

Don’t have kids because you think your genes are superior.

Don’t philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don’t associate with people you can’t trust.

Don’t cheat. Don’t lie. Don’t pretend.

Don’t dictate because you are smarter.

Don’t demand because you are stronger.

Don’t sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better.

Don’t sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.

Don’t stagnate!

Don’t regress.

Don’t live in the past. Time can’t bring anything or anyone back.

Don’t put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.

Don’t throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your
biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.

Find a new friend.

Start a new career.

Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life’s more hasty decisions.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be.

Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.

Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.

Don’t abandon your responsibilities but don’t overdose on duty.

Don’t live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.

Be true to yourself.

Don’t commit when you are not ready.

Don’t keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don’t postpone it.

Say those words. Don’t let the moment pass.

Do what you have to, even at society’s scorn.

Write poetry.

Love Deeply.

Walk barefoot.

Dance with wild abandon.

Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don’t wait for someone to take care of you.

You light up your life.

You drive yourself to your destination.

No one completes you – except YOU.

It isn’t true that life does not get easier with age.

It only gets more challenging.

Don’t be afraid. Don’t lose your capacity to love.

Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.

Don’t lose faith in God.

Don’t grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back.

Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time.

Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves


23 June 2010
Cable-landia