Do you remember the fairy tale of the frog prince, where the only thing that could make him change back to being a prince is the kiss of a true love? Let’s just say that I have internalized that story too much. So much that I jumped into a river full of frogs, and even toads, in my attempt to find genuine, head-over-heels, giddy love.
There is actually a difference between a frog and a toad. Toads are like frogs, have relatively shorter legs, stout bodies and thicker skinned. They are also characterized by warty skin. In short, they are not cute like Kermit.
I feel that I have the duty, as the princess (or more aptly, the dyosa), to have mercy on these creatures, and set them free from the curse of the evil witch. So there I was, bathing in the moonlight, my lower body immersed in murky water, dipping my hands in the cold water, and one by one, fishing out all the toads that I can see. When I have it finally in my hand, I kiss it. Then I pause for a brief moment, waiting for the transformation. But nothing happens, so I kiss it again, hoping that the magic will work the second time. Still, the toad looks like a toad. And I kiss it for the third time, this time, more lingering, hoping that a miracle would happen, that the slimy toad would transform into my handsome prince. But alas, nothing happens, the toad just looks me in the eye, and croaks so loud that I have to let it go. And I do this again to another toad… and to another… and another… until I got so tired and cold from the chilly night wind. Unfortunately, it’s either the story of the frog prince is not true or the prince is really a pig, and not a toad. Goodness gracious! I would not want to spend a lot of time in dirty pigpens, kissing porky pigs. Yuck!!! I’m sure a lot of dyosas can relate to this experience. Although I’m not sure if you’ve kissed a frog or a toad, or how many times you’ve tried to kiss the toad, or how many toads you have kissed.
Some people refer to their exes as ghosts, pigs, bitches, witches, assholes. But I prefer to call them toads. Who knows, they might also be looking for their own princesses/dyosas. It’s just that I am not THE one. They will someday transform into the handsome, dashing, loving prince that they are, but only if they are kissed by the right princess/dyosa. So you dyosas out there, make sure you kiss the right toad, for your own happiness, as well as for the toad’s happiness.
I’ve been racking my brains trying to find a better way of finding my toad. And I suddenly had this brilliant idea. When I am ready again to immerse myself in the river full of toads, I would bravely do so, and fish out a toad. But this time, I would not kiss him right away, I would ask if he wants me to kiss him. I know it may sound stupid, talking to a toad. But I assure you, if he’s MY toad, and if I am HIS dyosa, we would know. No more kissing each and every toad in the river, that’s too tiring. This time, I am smarter. I will talk to him, ask him if he is mine, and if I am his. Then if it’s the right toad, and the right moment, I would not hesitate to lovingly kiss the toad. And with just one magical kiss, everything will change. The murky river will be clearer, the moon will be bigger, the stars would be brighter, and my toad will turn into my prince.
Now, if you’re going to ask if we’re going to live happily ever after… well, that’s another story.
Note:
If you want interesting trivia on the story of the Frog Prince, check out:
http://www.answers.com/topic/the-frog-prince-story?method=6
16 April 2006
Saturday
4:14 pm
QC
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Fag hag
(My apologies to all my gay friends. I know that using the word fag may be derogatory. It’s not to insult anyone. I love my gay friends, and they know it.)
Phenomenal woman… Dazzling diva… Kagandahan… and my favorite… Dyosa. These are what my gay friends call me. Either they really think of me as the ultimate phenomenal friend, or they are just really savvy smooth talkers.
I’ve told people time and again that I have a very strong, yet peculiar affinity with gay men. Maybe because in my past life, I swear that I have been a gay man… a phenomenal gay!
I can prove that I know how it feels to be a man. I’ve told a few close friends about this story. While driving in traffic-jammed EDSA, I chanced upon this man doing his thing near the railings in the sidewalk. I swear to all the atoms that I know how he felt after doing his thing! I know it! I’ve felt it! I swear!!!
Ergo, I know that I was a man in my past life.
You want another proof? All gay men I meet immediately love me, or at least like me. One of my dearest friends even went to the extent of telling me, “Kung bading ka lang sana, naging tayo na!”. I was flattered, really flattered. And I felt the same way about him, and all my gay friends. I love them to bits! I love them because they are like me most of the times. Because of this affinity to my beautiful gay friends, some people have called me a fag hag.
What is a fag hag? Let’s dissect the words. Fag, according to the dictionary is the disparaging term for a homosexual man, short for faggot. Hag, is what you call an old single woman, considered ugly or frightful. Now… a fag hag is supposed to be a single woman, presently unattached, unattractive and destined to a life of loneliness.
If that is what it means, I refuse to be called a fag hag! I am certainly not one! The term fag hag has to be striken out of the English vocabulary! It is insulting not only to my wonderful gay friends, but also to us phenomenal dyosas.
Me and my single dyosa friends have this weekly Gathering of the Goddesses – either over bottles of beer, cups of coffee, pots of tea or plates of crackling liempo. It’s to affirm our strength and power over our lives and our destinies. It is also when we talk about our plans for world control and domination. Bwahaha! Seriously, it’s really fun, these gathering of the goddesses. It makes me realize that life is really about myself giving and reaching out to the world, and not about waiting for the world to reach out to me.
I love my life, because of friends like them – my sweet gay lolas, and my phenomenal dyosas. They make life special, colorful, worth living.
This is for Ram, Hamsy, Maitaqs, Imee-har, and to all the phenomenal dyosas who have shared their wisdom, their strength, their power.
This is for Ganesh, Noelle, Win, Onat, and to all my lolas who have yet to make their announcement, and make the world realize that they too are phenomenal.
9:36 pm
06 April 2006, Thursday
QC
Phenomenal woman… Dazzling diva… Kagandahan… and my favorite… Dyosa. These are what my gay friends call me. Either they really think of me as the ultimate phenomenal friend, or they are just really savvy smooth talkers.
I’ve told people time and again that I have a very strong, yet peculiar affinity with gay men. Maybe because in my past life, I swear that I have been a gay man… a phenomenal gay!
I can prove that I know how it feels to be a man. I’ve told a few close friends about this story. While driving in traffic-jammed EDSA, I chanced upon this man doing his thing near the railings in the sidewalk. I swear to all the atoms that I know how he felt after doing his thing! I know it! I’ve felt it! I swear!!!
Ergo, I know that I was a man in my past life.
You want another proof? All gay men I meet immediately love me, or at least like me. One of my dearest friends even went to the extent of telling me, “Kung bading ka lang sana, naging tayo na!”. I was flattered, really flattered. And I felt the same way about him, and all my gay friends. I love them to bits! I love them because they are like me most of the times. Because of this affinity to my beautiful gay friends, some people have called me a fag hag.
What is a fag hag? Let’s dissect the words. Fag, according to the dictionary is the disparaging term for a homosexual man, short for faggot. Hag, is what you call an old single woman, considered ugly or frightful. Now… a fag hag is supposed to be a single woman, presently unattached, unattractive and destined to a life of loneliness.
If that is what it means, I refuse to be called a fag hag! I am certainly not one! The term fag hag has to be striken out of the English vocabulary! It is insulting not only to my wonderful gay friends, but also to us phenomenal dyosas.
Me and my single dyosa friends have this weekly Gathering of the Goddesses – either over bottles of beer, cups of coffee, pots of tea or plates of crackling liempo. It’s to affirm our strength and power over our lives and our destinies. It is also when we talk about our plans for world control and domination. Bwahaha! Seriously, it’s really fun, these gathering of the goddesses. It makes me realize that life is really about myself giving and reaching out to the world, and not about waiting for the world to reach out to me.
I love my life, because of friends like them – my sweet gay lolas, and my phenomenal dyosas. They make life special, colorful, worth living.
This is for Ram, Hamsy, Maitaqs, Imee-har, and to all the phenomenal dyosas who have shared their wisdom, their strength, their power.
This is for Ganesh, Noelle, Win, Onat, and to all my lolas who have yet to make their announcement, and make the world realize that they too are phenomenal.
9:36 pm
06 April 2006, Thursday
QC
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