Maligaya!

sana masaya ang pasko mo :)

Lundagin mo, baby!

A couple days ago, I saw a button pin from Atenista friends. It says “Lundagin mo, beybeh”. It was apparently made by college students as a reminder of the popular line from a well-loved Philosophy teacher in Ateneo.

“Lundagin mo, baby!”

I’ve heard that line before. I can’t remember when or who said it. But it always reminds me of Rico J. Puno and Dina Bonevie. I really don’t know why.

I did some internet research and I found out that this was a very popular phrase back in the 60’s, popularized by a DJ, Johnny De Leon.

Lundagin is from the root word, lundag, which means to jump.

Jump: To spring off the ground or other base by a muscular effort of the legs and feet.

It entails effort since the aim is to spring off the ground. So jumping is not just regular everyday activity. It involves energy and will to lift oneself off the ground. Therefore, if one is not willing to expend energy, one cannot take off. In short, mag-effort ka, kapatid!

Jump: To move suddenly and in one motion

It means moving with speed. You cannot jump in slow motion, that’ll defy the laws of gravity. So when jumping, it has to be quick, fast and precise. Therefore, pag babagal-bagal ka, maiiwan ka sa kangkungan.

Jump: To move involuntarily, as in surprise

Like a hunter, you have to take the victim by surprise. Grab it suddenly, leaving it no other choice but to give in. Jumping involves an element of shock and astonishment. In short, kailangan may gulpe-de-gulat.

So what does ‘Lundagin mo, baby’ really mean? It means jumping out suddenly, and with a lot of effort from our comfort zones. Much like bunjee jumping, it entails taking risks, and letting go of our fears. It means not being afraid to lose control and be vulnerable.

So whatever it is that we want to jump into – a new career, relationships, commitment – remember to make the jump as high and as lively as possible.

Carpe diem! Sieze the day!

Jump and jump high!

Lundagin mo, beybeh!


07:20 pm
19 December 2008
Santiago City

Wish ko

I've gotten mails and messages from friends which contains their xmas wish list. So I'm making my own.

1. My very own personal Thai masseuse. Or gift certificates (2 massages in a month, for 1 whole year) for an authentic Thai massage.

2. A new Mac Book

3. New Canon lenses for my camera

4. External flash (Canon, please)

5. Extra memory card for Canon (it's not the regular-sized SD card)

6. Trip to Easter Island

7. One year supply (1 Liter per week) of Green Tea-flavored Sugar Free Ice Cream (brand Big Scoop, preferred)

8. A new external hard drive (160gb or higher)

9. A home entertainment system

10. Credit card balance write-off


Got it?

Merry xmas!


12:15pm
11 December 2008
Thursday
Fairview, Quezon City

Termina-lovely

*free-writing, muli*

I don't usually like airports, especially since I have had some bad experiences with some -- lost baggage, red eye transit time, almost 1 day transit/stops, rude personnel, boring or dirty facilities, etc.

But I think that I will never get tired of Changi Airport in Singapore. It is one of the busiest airports in the world and is an important passenger hub.

Changi has made its mark as a benchmark for service excellence, having received over 280 awards in a 20-year period from 1987 to 2007. Just for last year, it won 19 Best Airports awards!

I would personally vote for Changi given the chance to be in one of those awards committee. I love Changi! Not for its infinite shopping opportunities or gastronomical options, but because of its facilities for weary travelers like me.

Today, I have 5 hrs to spend here in Changi. My flight from Penang has a stop-over in Changi. And I am not complaining at all!

Here's a list of the things I did to kill the time
1. Made artwork using Changi's free stencil art. I will post photos of my artworks soon.
2. Went to the toilet more than 3 times. I am a sucker for clean toilets
3. Accessed free wifi at their lazy boy lounge (which also had large flat screen tv, and individualized speakers in the lazy boys).
4. Watched re-runs of Friends.
5. Registered for a free 3-year wifi access account.
6. Charged my phone and laptop through their free charging bays.
7. Rode the Sky Train going to Terminal 3, Changi's new posh terminal.
8. Went around T3.
9. Watched a free movie at their Transit Cinema.
10. Got a copy of Changi's free magazine.
11. Bought chocolates -- sugar free, dark italian chocolates, Reeses (xmas tree shaped) and a big assorted pack of chocolates (which I am devouring now as I write).
12. Bought my favorite perfume.
13. Took photos of huge Mickey and Minnie Mouse figures -- the magic of Disney is in Changi!.
14. Went to the Oasis -- a haven for weary travelers.

I am now lazily laying in lounge chair, accessing free wifi and eating chocolates. Lovely! What more can I ask for? Saan ka pa?!

I love Changi!


4:30 pm
07 December 2008 (Sunday)
Changi Airport, Singapore

Shoot from the gut

Shoot – verb. to capture, to fire (…a camera)
Gut – adj. of, relating to, or arising from one's mental or spiritual being


I’ve previously written an entry about having what it takes to be a photographer. I said in that entry, “Do you have what it takes?”.

What makes a good photographer? Is it the camera one is holding? Or maybe having a beautiful and photogenic subject in front of you?

One photo-hobbyist so aptly put into words… one just needs to “shoot from the gut”.

It’s not in the camera, gadgets or the subjects. It’s in one’s passion, commitment and dedication to capture the soul of a person, place or situation. Sabi nila, wala yan sa pana.

This is exactly what the group, Flickristasindios, have proven. They shoot from the gut, freezing moments and capturing beauty, sorrow, terror, ecstasy or agony.

On December 15, 2008, Flickristasindios will have their very first photo exhibit at the Cinema Level of the Trinoma Mall. Entitled THE INDIOS EXPERIENCE, it will showcase the photos of the group. Ms. Daphne Osena will formally open the exhibit.

These photographers have shot from their gut. In this exhibit, they will bare their souls. Come and celebrate with them life’s beauty, sorrow, terror, ecstasy and agony.

Flickristasindios link:

http://www.flickr.com/groups/flckristasindios/

(The group is looking for establishments who are willing to make x-deals with them for the opening of the exhibit. They are also asking for assistance from media friends to cover the said event.)


6:25 pm
26 November 2008
Wednesday
Fairview

Screening

Someone once told me, "Why do you always hold back?". My answer was, "I do not!".

But that same night, while I lay in bed, I assessed all the situations and relationships I've had. Only to finally realize that I do hold back. I hold out and resist to things, therefore making them non-spontaneous and painfully difficult.

I don't know why, and I can't even fathom when I started doing this. But one thing is for sure, I do hold back.

I screen my calls coming in through my landline. I have caller ID. So unless you tell me that you are calling, or unless I am familiar with the number flashing in the phone monitor, I won't pick up.

I have gazilion of pending invites from acquaintances in various social networking sites -- facebook, flickr, multiply, friendster, and other sites that I don't even bother to open. If I don't feel that you've been part of my life in any way, I don't see any reason for adding you in my network.

I don't give out my first name to guys (and generally to people) I meet in bars or parties. I usually give out my second name, Grace. They can google me all they want, and they will end up with a thousand hits of the name 'Grace'.

The same is true for my mobile number. I usually give out my Globe number to people who have the tendency to become bothersome or demanding. It's easier to ignore text messages and calls. I can always make an excuse that I don't check that line regularly (which is actually true).

I don't usually say 'I love you' to people I love -- whether friends, or lovers or family. My argument is that if they feel the same way, they will know how I feel about them.

I admit... I screen. I hold back. I resist.

I don't know when I'll stop screening, holding back or resisting. The truth is, I'm not even sure if I want to.


10:40 pm
20 November 2008
Thursday
Santiago City

Little Big Man

Today was a very interesting day for me.

A good friend asked me to join her in the launching of a music video of Lupang Hinirang. This very touching music video is about a boy who stumbled upon a small paper flag of the Philippines. The kid starts climbing a flag pole, and towards the end of the anthem, plants the little flag on top of the flag pole.

This slow version of the national anthem was sung by the Loboc Children’s Choir, and was directed by Mae Paner, a well known theater artist.

It was a touching video, accompanied with the angelic voices of the Loboc choir. It actually gave me goose bumps.

But this experience was nothing to the experience of finally meeting, shaking hands and posing for a picture with THE Jun Lozada.

On tv, he looks frail and small. But in person, he is not as tiny and wimpy as he registers on the boob tube. He was very friendly and accommodating. He readily said yes to our request to have our photos taken with him. He even retorted, “Sige, magpa-picture na tayo habang nasa labas pa ako. Baka ipakulong na nila ako eh.”

It’s a great day, to have finally met the BIG MAN. In my book, he belongs to the league of exceptional gentlemen – brave, committed and with integrity.


6:40 pm
10 November 2008
Monday
Mocha Blends (Teachers’ Village)
*free wifi, yehey!*

Dialogue

Here are some amusing exchanges. They may be factual, or may just be the product of my over-active imagination.

Dialogue # 1:
Juan: (whispers in her ear) I love you.
Juana: Chika!
(Kung di ka ba naman tanga. “I love you, too” ang dapat sagot!)

Dialogue # 2:
While inside a car, rain pouring outside, after a drinking spree, days before his wedding…
Pedro: Makakahanap ka din ng taong magmamahal sa iyo. Someone deserving of your love.
Petra: *sob* *iyak* *ngawa* *bumabaha ang luha*
(Eh girl, ano pa nga ba ang pwede mong sabihin? Umatungal ka na lang.)

Dialogue # 3:
Jane: Alam mo, crush kita dati.
John: Sana sinabi mo. Hindi ko man lang naramdaman.
(As if naman maibabalik pa ang nakaraan. Sows!)

Dialogue # 4:
Michael: You’re the only who truly knows me.
Michelle: Ah… eh…Talaga!? *disbelief*
(Koya, obvious ba, hindi ka type ni ate.)

Dialogue # 5:
Gelo: Bakit di ka pa nag-aasawa?
Gela: Mauna ka muna.
(In reality, ang gusting sabihin ng hitad… “dahil hinihintay kita”.)



10:35 pm
28 October 2008
Fairview

Enough!

*another free writing exercise*

Tonight, I say... enough!

This moment marks the end.

This is where I draw the line.

I say, leave me alone and let me be!

You are nothing more than a useless thought, so get out of the inner recesses of my brain.

I will not be swayed, and I say this with finality...

I purge you out of my system.

Good riddance.


12:50am
23 October 2008
Thursday
Fairview

free writing

it's a sunday, and i dedided to write anything and everything that comes to mind. no editing whatsoever. except for the typographical editing that needs to be done, lest i be accused of being stupid.

my former boss used to tell us that the best form of writing exercise (and also for exercising you mind) is by doing free-writing, like what i'm doing now. he said, "just write, about anything that comes to mind. don't think about how it will sound, or if it's even comprehesible. just write!"

he's a really brilliant lawyer and writer and speaker, so i guess he must have done this in the past. so i'm doing it now. not because i want to be like him, nor i want to surpass all his legal credentials. i just want to write... because... i want to write about things which are not really coherent, or may not make sense, or may just sound plain crazy to you.

so what do i want to discuss first... ah yes, about cyber stalking.

a couple of months ago, i was chatting with a high school friend who's based in the US. i asked him what he was doing. he said that he's waiting for his wife to pick him up from his workplace. while waiting for her, he's cyber stalking all his past flames. he said that he has found some really interesting info (and photos, too) of his past loves/interests/flames.

that's what i've done for the past hour, or should i say, hours. i've searched the internet (using almost all search enginges, and all possible search techniques) to find all information about my latest obsession (don't worry, i'll discuss this topic next). i found out some juicy bits of information about him and his family. i won't say that i was happy of what i've learned. i think i was more scared of my capacity to stalk someone, albeit only cyberwise (is that even a word?). i'm beginning to scare myself! Herlich, this is your fault! you gave me really crazy ideas.

anyways, this guy that i'm stalking... he doesn't really fit the usual profile of guys that i like. this guy is older, much older (ok, ok.... waaaayyyy older) than the guys i've dated. he's mature, funny, smart, successful, dignified, soft-spoken, composed, accomplished and really really nice.

you remember the movie, Autumn in New York? he reminds me so much of Richard Gere, i swear, he's so cute. he actually looks younger than his real age. he looks 10 years younger than he really is. to you (let's call him Richard), sir Richard... if you read this, it only means that you like me enough to google my name and read by blog. uyyy, like mo din ako no? stalker ka din! hehehe.

don't worry, people, i passed the "half-his-age-plus-seven" rule. they say that in order to have a meaningful relationship with someone older, you must not be less than "half-his-age-plus-seven".

heniways, i'm so excited to read this entry. i wonder if it'll make sense. i'm sure most of you will email or text or call me and tell me that i'm crazy. but i don't care. i'm Winona. she got Richard. she stole from a store. she served time (she did, right?). she's a branded a kleptomaniac. but she's still famous! life is unfair!


10:59 pm
September 28, Sunday
Santiago City, Isabela

Choices… choices

Inspired by my previous blog enty, Boylet (link: http://bampira-ako.blogspot.com/2006/02/boylet.html), I have been mulling about this question lately…

“Would I rather date/go into a relationship with a boylet (say, a guy 10 years my junior), or have a may-december love affair with a mature and much older guy (15 or more years my senior?”

Now, I am actually leaning more on the latter choice.

Ikaw, I want to know your thoughts…


02:10 pm
17 September 2008
Holiday Inn
Clark, Pampanga

The Net

You remember this movie…The Net?

This 1995 movie, which stars Sandra Bullock (I love her!) illustrates the types of problems that can come up if a person’s private information falls into the wrong hands. Angela Bennett (Bullock) fell victim to identity theft as her personal information and key identity data were stolen and used in order to exchange her identity with another.

Although the plot of this movie seems fantastic and far-fetched, identity theft in the internet is a serious and common problem that occurs frequently in real life.

I had 2 Indian colleagues (1 is an awarded independent film maker, and the other one is a very respected grassroots activist) who had their email accounts spammed. They were both using yahoo accounts for several years. A couple of months ago, I received separate email messages from both their addresses confessing that they are sex addicts. Of course, it turned out to be a case of email hacking.

Another pinay friend couldn’t access her email account after her break up with her most recent ex. We firmly believe that the good-for-nothing-jerk has his dirty hands involved in this freak accident.

That is why yesterday, I was in a state of shock when both my yahoo accounts could not be accessed! I tried punching in my password several times, but to no avail!

I wanted to cry! My heart stopped beating. My mind was racing, trying to recall all the important document and information stored in my email accounts. Everything is there – from passwords, to birthdays, to important personal documents, work outputs, contact details of friends, heck… even secret stories and juicy gossip and intrigues.

I tried the last solution that I could think of… I shut down my laptop and waited for 5 minutes, then turned it on again.

As the familiar windows OS display was flashing in my screen, I think I’ve called on all the saints that I knew of. I was begging them to save my email account. That was one of the very few times that I prayed that hard.

And I guess I must have done something good in my childhood, because yahoo finally accepted my password! Jos lord! Salamat ng marami!

This made me think again how our lives (well, at least mine) are so dependent on the virtual space we call the Internet. I remember 15 years ago, this was not the case at all. We can still get in touch with our friends just by landline phonecalls or even messages thru the pager, or even the good ol’ snail mail.

We can work for 8 hours a day even without an internet. Now I feel paralyzed at work without checking my mails.

We have let the Internet take over our lives. Children play internet and computer games instead of the traditional taguan and tumbang preso. Friends send virtual messages and hugs through facebook, yahoo and friendster, instead of talking over coffee. Family members write to each other using the electronic mail, and thus fail to memorize the strokes of their relatives’ handwriting.

Hay… we are really living in a virtual world.

Sometimes, I think of what might happen if the Internet collapses. Is there no end to the vastness of this virtual space? How much more gigabytes of information can it hold? Is there a possibility that someday, it will just explode like a big balloon? What happens to all those information?


To end this problematic blog entry, I would like to quote Angela Bennett:
“Our whole world is sitting there on a computer. It's in the computer, everything: your, your DMV records, your, your social security, your credit cards, your medical records. It's all right there. Everyone is stored in there. It's like this little electronic shadow on each and everyone of us, just, just begging for someone to screw with, and you know what? They've done it to me, and you know what? They're gonna do it to you.”

Hala… kaya ingat!


08:55pm
11 September 2008
Santiago City, Isabela

Blue’s Clues

I remember years ago that I used to watch this very amusing children’s show on ABC 5. It’s called Blue’s Clues. It’s a children's show about a dog named Blue. The series follows Blue through her everyday life, providing small children with fun and education.


The game of Blue's Clues begins near the beginning of the episode, when the Steve asks Blue a question. Blue responds by jumping at the screen and marking it with a blue pawprint, which is a sign that Blue wants to answer Steve’s question by playing Blue's Clues. Steve, with the help of the audience (who are constantly spoken to and asked questions by Steve), then searches the house for Blue's 3 clues. Along the way, Steve speaks with other residents of the house, often characters based on inanimate objects such as a side-table drawer, a salt shaker, and a mailbox. After all three have been found, Steve sits in his "thinking chair" and puts the 3 clues together, using a pen and the handy-dandy notebook, to form a central image. This image is the answer to Steve’s original question, which goes along the lines of "What does Blue want to do today?"


From 1996 to 2002, Blue's owner was Steve, a non-animated character played by Steven Burns. When Burns chose to leave the show, the character Steve went off to college and his younger brother Joe (played by Donovan Patton) moved in to take care of Blue.

A lot of kids love this show. And one of these kids is Summer, my lovely 5-year old niece. Last month, while we were watching re-runs of the show (I heard they stopped airing already), she was also doodling and drawing on her writing pad, which is basically several pieces of scratch bond paper stapled together to look like a drawing pad.

In the middle of the Blue’s Clues episode, she said, “Tita, di ba we should use scratch paper to save trees? Why is Steve and Joe not using the back page of their handy dandy notebook?”.

I felt proud that this little girl knew about loving the environment. It felt really good knowing that we’ve influenced her to think critically. So I told her to write to Steve and Joe. And below is her letter:

“dear Steve and Joe,

I’m always watching Blues clues and I noticed that you are not using the back page of your handy dandy notebook. Please write at the back to save paper.

Love, Summer”


She told me to send it to Steve and Joe. But before giving me her scratch pad paper, she told me, “Maybe they don’t know who I am.”. But I told her that it’s fine. She should just introduce herself.

I was surfing the net for the email address of the producers of Blue’s Clues. But since they’re off the air already, I can’t find any email address. Although the show’s off the air already, we still would like to send it to Nickolodeon.

Can anyone help Summer deliver her letter? Salamat!



10:15pm
06 September 2008
Santiago City, Isabela

Da-wow!

I’ve told a lot of friends that next to Baguio City, Davao City is my next favorite city. If there was a place that I would like to relocate to, it would be this city.

I like Davao’s vibe.

I love kinilaw, mangosteen, pomelo and lechon. All these things are best found in Davao.

If you want a lazy afternoon at the beach, you can go to Samal Island and the other nearby resorts. If you miss the morning mountain breeze, mount Apo is very near. Eden’s Nature Park is actually the best place to go to.

There are a lot of local artists and cultural groups. On the other hand, coffee shops, restos and gimik places abound.

There are 5 star hotels and posh malls. But a few minutes away from downtown, you can still see very rural community settings.

Davao is a contradiction.

Davao is a rainbow of different colors.

It’s been more than 3 years since my last visit to davao.

And after visiting it again, I can say that Davao is really Da-wow!


04:45 pm
03 September 2008
Santiago City

Imeldific

I’ve been published!

It’s not something big, but hey, it’s my first published photo.

Months ago, I got an email from a Malaysian publishing house. They told me that they are publishing a new travel book for Malaysia, in time for the 50th year of Malaysia’s Independence, and they wanted to use one of my photos which they saw on my flickr page (see http://www.flickr.com/photos/norlygrace/2255962129/).

I took this photo while I was still based in Penang, Malaysia, with Ixty, my trusty point and shoot Canon Ixus 60 camera.

It was a weekend, and Joolie, our Malaysian-Chinese colleague invited me and Marjo to explore the Sunday market at Upper Penang Road. They called this Sunday market/exhibit, Little Penang.


Little Penang had stalls offering various stuff from all over Penang – food, clothes, ornaments, antiques and other wares. Artists and photographers abound. Music from local bands and poetry reading and history-telling entertained the tourists, foreign and locals alike.

One of the things which captured my interests were these very small wooden shoes. I really had no idea what these were for, I guess just for design or for small gifts and mementos. I found them really cute. I wanted to take some photos since they remind me so much of something that Marikina would make. The guy in charge of the stall was nice enough to let me take some photos.

I posted it in my flickr page and called it “Imeldific”, in reference to the former First Lady of this country, who became famous (or should I say infamous) because of her fetish for shoes.


I am so happy they found my photo nice enough to be published. Last week, I got my copy of the book. I wasn’t paid for the photo, but they were nice enough to give me a complimentary copy. When the doorbell rang last Saturday, and I saw this guy from TNT carrying a small package, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. I knew that TNT was the courier usually used by offices in Malaysia. I was grinning ear to ear as I was opening the package. And my smile grew even wider when I saw my Imeldific photo on the 2nd page of the book! (see photo on the lower right part) And I saw it again in the middle of the book, this time, with my name and a link to this blogsite.


Salamat sa pagiging adik ko sa photography.

Thanks to the Malaysian publishing company for coming up with the “50+1 Malaysia” project.

Thanks to Imelda, for being a shoe addict.

Thanks to Penang, for having very interesting things for my camera to capture.


10:45 pm
24 August 2008
Fairview

Qua Chee

One of the things I miss about Penang is the food. Among my favorites are Bah Kuah, Belacan Rice, Poh Piah, Teh Ice and Qua Chee (Sunflower seeds). Actually, I don’t know how it’s spelled. So pardon me for any errors.

Imagine my surprise when I saw sunflower seeds in a local grocery. It was not the usual sunflower seed brand that we see here in the Philippines. It’s the brand from China – brown paper packaging, red prints, Chinese characters… it’s the real thing! It’s the same brand I voraciously devour in Penang.

Me so happy!


01:10 am
17 August 2008
Fairview

Wishes

Our lolas used to tell us "be careful what you wish for." When I was younger, I thought this advice sounded pretty stupid. Why should I be careful of something that I wished would happen? Isn't that the whole point of wishing? For it to happen?

Little did I know that she meant something else. Pero naman naman... bakit naman kasi? She should have just told me -- "if you wish for something, make it specific. In fact, make it very, very specific."

Case # 1:

When I was about 8 years old, my parents forced me to take piano lessons. We didn't have a piano or an electric organ, and I badly wanted to have one.

I remember praying to Jesus every night: "Dear Jesus, sana po, magkaroon ako ng sariling electric organ. Please po, Jesus. Promise that I will be a good girl".

And what do you know? I got my wish alright... after more than a decade.

Lesson: When you make a wish, include a timeline.


Case # 2:

When I was in highschool, I had a crush on a classmate. I will not even give the slightest clue as to the identity of this guy. I am certain that people (including this narcissistic guy) would tease me mercilessly and perpetually about it. So I won’t tell.

I remember praying to Jesus: "Jesus, I wish na maging close kami ni *guy*. Please po. Good girl naman po ako eh".

And tadah!... we became close and chummy... but after half a decade. It would not have been too late, since we were still in our late teens then, but I knew this guy too well by this time, that I never had a single iota of interest in him anymore. I like him as a friend yes, but I can never imagine kissing him. Yuck!

Lesson: When you make a wish, include a timeline, and a caveat, like: "Jesus, I wish maging close kami ni *guy*. But if we become close, make sure that I don't get turned off with him."


Case #3:

Almost every girl dreams of having a meaningful and serious conversation with a guy she's physically attracted to.

I remember wishing: "God, I hope to find someone I whom can talk to all night. Someone I am attracted to. I know I've made mistakes in the past, but I'll try to do better. Thank you!"

And like everyone says, God is a giving God. On a clear night, this cute guy spent the whole night at my place. We listened to music and talked about things that mattered -- to him, to me. We talked about the future... and as the moon set, it became clearer that this future does not include the picture of him and me together. We talked about his future, since he's getting hitched soon.

Lesson: When you make a wish, include a timeline, and a caveat, and make it specific, like: "God, I hope to find someone that I can talk to all night. Someone I am attracted to. Someone whom I can spend the future with."


Case # 4:

I can say that having experienced the 3 previous cases, I've learned my lesson pretty well. Therefore, I started to ask for something specific and realistic.

I said: "God, please help me find a decent guy. Someone charming, funny and witty. Someone who can commit and is faithful. Someone who has passion and principles. Someone who loves me and wants to spend days and nights with me. I know that I am not perfect, but I am not asking for the perfect guy. But give me someone perfect for me".

I am really proud of this prayer -- very realistic, specific, humble and grounded.

And I guess the Lord sensed my sincerity and maturity. I met a guy who is charming, funny, witty, smart, committed, faithful, talented, passionate, principled, and helpful. Someone who loves me and wants to spend time with me. He may not be perfect, but he is the perfect embodiment of the guy I asked for. He is, as some might say, the "answer to my prayers".

But there is one catch... he is gay.

He loves me though, and I love him more. He even told me... "Ate, kung bading ka lang, sana naging tayo na."

Lesson: When you make a wish, include a timeline, and a caveat, and make it specific... very, very specific.

Darn! I should have mentioned “heterosexual” in my prayer.


10:25 pm
07 July 2008
Fairview

Checking in

I haven’t written for quite a while. Basically because I don’t know what to write about. There are so many things happening… too many thoughts in my head… to many emotions unsettled.

I need more time to process things.

I need more space to sort things out.
I need more energy for spring cleaning.

If this entry is very tentative, it’s because I’m just checking in.



04:56pm
05 July 2008
Fairview

Juday and Ces

As of 3:50pm, June 19, 2008 (Thursday), the Filipino internet-reading public decided that Juday is more interesting than Ces.

Judy Ann Santos' lovelife is more interesting than Ces Orena-Drilon's harrowing ordeal as a captive of the Abu Sayyaf Group in the forests of Mindanao.

This is evident according the Philippine Daily Inquirer's website (http://www.inquirer.net/). Under the 'Most Read' tab, the story of Ces' and her team's captivity (2nd most interesting) was less interesting than Juday's rumored break-up with beau Ryan Agoncillo (top most interesting).

What has the world come to?

Ganito na ba talaga tayo?

Sad... so sad...


04:00 pm
Thurs
June 19, 2008
Santiago City, Isabela
(Kiddie Toes Montessori School)

Ka Bel

I've always said that I am apolitical.

I have no political color or affiliation.

I studied in UP Diliman, but i only got to attend one rally in my entire college life.

I never understood the diversity of the spectrum of the philippine political parties and movements.

I've never met any tibak or political leader in my entire life, not until 2 years ago.

Because of my short stint in malaysia, I got to meet political leaders and community leaders.

It's only recently that I knew about Ka Bel. I never met him personally, but I heard stories about him from friends.

My being apolitical and detached didn't hinder me from shedding tears (buckets of tears actually) every time I read articles or watch programs about his life.

The article below is another tear-jerker for me.

I remember a conversation I had with my father the day Ka Bel died. I told him that I wished that Ka Bel died in the streets. My father said that his death proves one thing: that Ka Bel represents the ordinary Filipino -- fighting the daily struggle of life.

I never knew Ka Bel, but I felt empathy for the old man. I know that I will never achieve his political awareness and stature. But I would just like to pay my respects to a great man. Saludo ako sa iyo, Ka Bel.

===========

http://allecoallende.wordpress.com/2008/05/21/regrets/

According to Anakpawis Party-List staff, Ka Bel’s remains will be brought to the House of Representatives on Tuesday morning, May 27, for the protocol necrological services. Prior to that, however, there will be a series of tributes for him beginning today, May 21 up to the 26th at the Iglesia Filipina Independiente Cathedral in Taft Ave across the Philppine General Hospital. His body will be brought there later tonight from Bulacan.

I don’t know if I will be able to go tonight because, well, it’s kind of hard to walk, and I’m not sure am up to saying goodbye to a man I loved like a grandfather. Baka bumulahaw ako ng iyak - e iyakin pa naman ako ngayon!

I wrote his speeches and press releases and resolutions and bills and feature articles about him, and through all those pages and pages of words, words, words I got to know him deeply. We talked about his life and we talked about work. We talked about his family and we gossiped about other people (Ka Bel was pilyo — he liked gossip of the political sort, sure; but he wasn’t above listening to your run-of-the-mill, garden variety chismis about people we knew: whom broke up with whom and why; the argument that broke out between so and so; who has a crush on whom, that sort of thing. Of course he was never mean, and he was no blabber-mouth, but he did laugh, even as he promised-cross-his-fingers-hoped-to-die that he would not tell anyone. Hahahaha!).

He was my main ninong sa kasal in Quezon City Hall in 2005, and when my father died in 2003, Ka Bel travelled all the way to Santiago, Isabela where my father’s remains were to condole with my mother and the rest of our family.He polished his own shoes, darned the holes in his pants and barong, cleaned his own desk and put his files and reading materials in order in himself. He washed his own dishes (pag hindi siya naunahan ng staff) and made his own coffee.

Well, for a time he didn’t make his own coffee because of a mistake he made with the containers. He tipped a teaspoon of instant coffee and half a teaspoon of brown powder into his mug, mixed it with water, stirred it, took a sip, and his lips puckered.

“Ne, bakit ang asim ng kape?”

“Po? Paanong maasim?”

He points to a small jar with brown powder. “Baka yung asukal sira na? Pero hindi nasisira ang asukal…”: I take the jar, take off the lid and sniff the jar’s contents: sour and pungent. I know it’s not sugar.

“Ka Bel, iced tea yan!

”Ka Bel never had money in his wallet - most of his allowance he gave to his wife, Ka Osang, and whatever was left he often gave away to people who walked up to him and asked for financial aid. It was sometimes frustrating the way he was too generous, even with the fake media photographers/reporters in Congress who badgered him to buy unfocused, blurry pictures they took of him while speaking in plenary — naaawa daw siya. He was also quite frugal. Some of his efforts were even quite extreme: he one time cut a shoe lace into two pieces, used both to tie his leather shoes and then he kept the other uncut shoe lace.

“Bakit ninyo ginupit?!” I asked, aghast when I found him at his desk burning the ends of one severed shoe lace to make sure that the ends wouldn’t unravel and fit into his shoe eyelets.

“Para may isa pa akong bagong pares ng tali pag naluma na ito.”

“Jusme, Ka Bel naman mura lang ang sintas!”

He just smiled his bright, bright smile.

Isang taon

Isang taon na ako dito sa pinas!

It’s exactly one year from now that my Singapore Airline plane landed in Manila from Penang.

It’s exactly one year from now that I’ve been away from Penang.

It’s exactly one year from now that I haven’t:
1. seen Xin Ying
2. been in Mr. Hanifa’s teksi
3. tasted poh piah (the Chinese version of the fresh lumpia)
4. seen the sunrise in our 16th floor apartment in Greenlane
5. seen the beauty of the Penang Bridge

There are so many things, places and faces that I haven’t seen for the longest time. But many things have happened to me here in the Philippines. The past year has been a really eventful one.

Tomorrow is the 22nd. I’m a year wiser, far stronger and with more genuine friends.


11:42pm
21 May 2008
Santiago City

Adik

Ako’y isang adik.

Adik sa photography.

Since 2 years ago, I’ve told my friends (and even wrote an article about it) about my addiction to photography.


I’ve had minor addictions – playing the guitar, cooking, sketching and painting, boxing, etc – but never has my addiction gone this far.

Here’s a proof of my addiction… everytime I go out and look outside the car window, I try to “compose” the objects. I usually look at things thinking if they would look good using the camera’s frame.


Another proof… I now have a new baby. After Ixty (my Canon Ixus 60), I now have Ampy (my new Canon DSLR). Now, I really can’t afford a DSLR. But I thought, hey, life is short. Carpe diem! So when I was in KL last December, I went to Ampang Point Mall (thus, the name Ampy), fished out my credit card, and not thinking twice (pikit-mata), swiped it in exchange for my beloved Ampy. Bahala na si batman! I know the well will never go dry, there will be loaves and baskets-full of fishes. Now, Ampy is my precious… my most beloved and priced possession.


I told a photography buddy that I have been dreaming of taking photos of things. Even in my dreams, I carry with me my beloved camera, Ampy (and sometimes Ixty, too) and shoot away. Just last night, I dreamt that I was in a small island off Phuket, and was cradling Ampy while balancing the small boat I was in.


I am now seriously considering having a very major career shift, a radical sabbatical of sorts. I really want to be a photographer. I want to take portraits of people and capture their emotions and immortalize their feelings. I want to take photos of beautiful places and breathtaking landscapes so that people will see how lovely they are. I want people to remember happy memories and candid moments on occasions that are special to them.


Here are some more proof of my addiction:
Photo 1: Lee-Anne (La Mesa Ecopark photo shoot with Flickristasindios buddies)
Photo 2: Vincent (a starry night in Sta Ana, Cagayan)
Photo 3: Ambuklao (photo of the river in Ambuklao Dam in Benguet)
Photo 4: Beach at night (a beach in Pangasinan)
Photo 5: Batanes?... not! (taken from Palaui Island in Sta Ana, Cagayan)

I never want to be rehabilitated. I want to remain addicted forever. I’m proud to say… ako’y isang adik!


09:55pm
28 April 2008
Santiago City

(I didn’t realize that my last entry was a month ago! Tsk tsk, this is bad. I need to have another addiction… adik sa blog.)

Guilty Pleasures

Yes, I am guilty, without a doubt.

I confess to the fact that I have several quirks which others may find eccentric while others may find endearing.

These guilty pleasures of mine I’ve kept hidden for such a long time. But since lately, a lot of friends have decided to come out, I guess it’s time for me to let you in on some of my quirkiness.

Peep hole: For security purposes, I’ve installed a peephole in my unit. But I use this tiny hole in my door to spy on my neighbors. Not that I have a lot of interesting neighbors. In fact, in my floor, only 2 units are inhabited most of the time. 3 units, including mine, are like transient houses. And the other one is not occupied yet. But everytime I hear some noise or commotion outside my door, I use this peephole to peek into the lives of my neighbors.

New books: Since I was small, I love smelling new books. Whenever I’m in a bookstore, I almost always try to smell the pages of the books. The feeling is euphoric, bordering on being high.

Google: Maybe due to boredom (or vanity and narcissism), I’ve had this habit of googling my name. I get a pleasure of looking at the hits and the search results. That’s how I found out that some of my friends have been writing about me in their blogs.

Photos: Again, maybe because of vanity and narcissism, I have several ID-size digital pictures of myself. Ever since I started taking these medications, and have started noticing physical changes, I’ve had this habit of regularly (maybe once a week) taking self portraits and saving them in my laptop. I now have a folder of self portraits and mug-shots which I look at every once in a while to assess if there’s improvement in terms of the physical side effects of my medication.

Late night show: I am naturally an owl, a night person. However, since I am not allowed to stay up late (long story), I’ve tried to hit the bed at 10 or 11pm. But since I don’t have cable tv in my unit, I’ve had to make do with the local tv stations. And that’s when I discovered this late night talk show with Jojo Alejar. For those of you who don’t know him, Jojo A is a teen star back in the days (late 80s), and has been a fixture in the now-defunct teen variety show, That’s Entertainment. Now, in his 40s, he still sports the same hairstyle and cracks the same jokes. I got hooked on this show for 2 reasons – it’s a very short show (30 mins) and therefore has a very slim chance of being boring, and because it has no advertisements (how many shows don’t actually have ads!).


Chippy: Everyone (or at least all of my friends) knows that I love Chippy. But only very few actually know that I love Chippy (red, original flavor) with vinegar. It’ll even taste better with ground black pepper. Yummy!

Adobo: Almost all Filipinos love adobo (a dish of marinated meat seasoned with garlic, soy sauce, vinegar, black pepper and bay leaf). Filipinos also love to cook their adobo with a twist, therefore claiming that their version is better than others. Others add coconut milk, others add sugar or star anise and even sugar. But I love my adobo with ketchup. Don’t ask why… I just do.

Horoscopes: I know it may sound baduy, but I believe in horoscopes. I used to read the newspaper starting with the horoscope page. But now that I am more technologically savvy, I use the internet. I am enrolled in a daily horoscope and inspirational article services (OM). And another friend regularly sends out inspiring quotes from ‘The Universe’.

Chick flick: I love chick flicks! My favorite is Love Actually. And I usually love watching these during special occasions. See my previous entry (Chick Flick).

Cool fluffy pillows: As stated in my previous entry (Little Joys), I love fluffy pillows. What I did not say is that I love rubbing my foot against a soft, cool and fluffy pillow. This makes me really sleepy.

I could go on and on but I think I’ve said enough. I know my friends will understand. But I’m sure there’ll be those who will squirm in their seats and will probably refuse to talk to me again. So I will stop. But I would love to hear from you.
These are my guilty pleasures. What’s yours?


11:45am
26 March 2008
Santiago City

I Want to Be a Princess

Every little girl’s dream is to become a princess, with her own Prince Charming to sweep her off her feet, ride with her on a white royal horse, ride away to a huge and majestic castle, and live happily ever after.

Well… almost every little girl.

There are those who never wished to be a princess, and instead wanted to be an astronaut and fly to the moon.

There were those who wished to be a scientist and spend all day in the laboratory concocting colorful chemicals to cure all illnesses.

There were those who got addicted to the TV series “6 Million Dollar Man”, and wanted to become bionic and save lives.

There were those who wanted to become an anthropologist and explore the pyramids of Giza and the ruins of Pompeii.

I was this girl. I never wanted beauty, grace and riches. I wanted to become an astronaut, a scientist, a bionic woman and an anthropologist.

While other little girls were pretending to be princesses and fairies, I was pretending to be one of those who are training to fly a rocket ship at NASA space camps. While others were pretending to put on make-up on their faces, I was pretending to mix colorful concoctions which will be the magic medicine in the future. While my other playmates were watching Cinderella and other Disney movies, I was hooked on 6 Million Dollar Man, and wanted to have bionic vision and strength. While my classmates were reading Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys, I was reading anthropology books featuring ruins of ancient civilization and cities.

But now… I don’t want to be an astronaut, a scientist, bionic woman, nor an anthropologist.

I… want… to… be… a… princess!!!

Now, I want to wear pretty shoes and dresses, eat sumptuous food, go to fun places, attend grand balls and parties, do graceful things and be treated like a princess.

Did I digress? Did I suddenly become so flaky and banal?

I thought really hard and reflected. I think that my desire to become a princess is because I’ve felt how it is to be a non-Princess. I have already become, in one way or another, an astronaut, a scientist, bionic woman, and an anthropologist.

I have been an astronaut. Although I’ve never been on the moon, I have flown over land and sea, and over the clouds during my travels. I have mixed not chemicals, but colors in my painting palette, and have created works of art. I’ve been under the scalpel twice, but not to be bionic, but to become better. I am not an anthropologist, but I have been to places which are considered to be the cradle of civilization.

I have become all the things that I’ve always wanted, and more. So now, being a princess will just be a piece of cake. After all, I think I am already a princess. Who says that a princess can’t fly to the moon, concoct medical magic, discover ruins and become bionic?

So please rise up and give way to the princess.


08:05 pm
03 Mar 2008
Fairview, QC

Kamusta ka, UP?

Aaminin ko… when I was a freshman back in the ‘90s (won’t say what year hehehe), I used to be really proud to be an iska. Being the probinsyana that I was, I stayed in Kalayaan (the freshmen dormitory). Thus, my entire freshman life revolved around UP. I went to mass at the UP Chapel, had meals at the dorm or CASAA or shopping center. I took frequent walks around the academic oval and sunken garden. I bought UP stickers and pasted them on my books and folders (I didn’t have a car back then). I proudly wore UP shirts.

But after a year of studying, I realized that being in UP is not a bed of roses. I experienced a lot of not-so-pleasant things in UP. I had my first quatro (4), singko (5), incomplete and dropped. I have tried writing a song at the black of my blue book during an exam in Math 53 just to kill the time, so that my terror teacher would not castigate me for turning in a blank blue book. I have been wrongly accused by a teacher of plagerizing a book in one of my reports (of course, I proved him wrong, and I got a 1.25 in his class). I’ve been burned really bad not just in academics, but in a lot of things that a gullible probinsyana is not used to.

But… although UP may not be a bed of roses, it became my enclave, my shelter and my comfort zone. Until now, when I’m at the lowest of lows, I drive around UP. Just seeing the familiar trees, green grass, the old buildings and dormitory, smelling the familiar scents of the shopping center, and feeling the UP air, I suddenly become enveloped in a blanket of peace and quiet. It’s as if I have put on a cloak of invincibility. I leave the campus feeling lighter, calm and composed.

So a few days ago, I did what I’ve been wanting to do since a few months ago. I went to UP with the dyosas to shoot the Oblation. Sitting in front of the oblation, memories of my undergrad and graduate years came flooding back. I felt content just sitting at the Admin Building, shooting Oble in different angles, while waiting for the sun to set.

Salamat UP, for being very interesting, accommodating and open. I owe a lot of what I am today to you.


10:29 pm
26 Feb 2008
Fairview, QC

Unang Hirit

It's been a while since i saw the sunrise. It's been months ago that i woke up this early.

Today, i was up since 4am. I suddenly woke up from a very bad dream, and couldn't go back to sleep after.

So after an hour of tossing and turning in my bed, i decided to start my day... very early.

Today is February 25, a non-working holiday, the anniversary of the People Power revolution.

I looked out my window... the compound was very quiet, not a soul in sight. Not even the roving guard was on the street.

Suddenly, the silence was broken by 4 individuals, all male. They were walking towards the main gate of the compound. Looking closely, i noticed that 2 of them stopped walking, and kissed right there, at the middle of the road. As if on cue, the other couple did the same. I sighed, happy at the thought that at least 4 souls were happy and content today.

For i know that today, a lot of hearts will not be as happy. On the contrary, hearts will be pumping with rage, dissent and discontent. People will be marching on the streets. Prayers and litanies will be spoken. Fists will be held up in the air, clenched in anger and disgust.

It's half past 5. I turned on the tv to a local channel. Unang Hirit (an early morning/breakfast talk show) was about to start.

The hosts were criticizing Gloria Arroyo, the woman some call president. According to Gloria, the world cannot forgive the Philippines should there be another EDSA revolution.

I am now wondering if her comprehension and mental faculty is as wanting as her height. Doesn't she realize that what the world cannot forgive, is for Filipinos to completely abandon their passion to fight for the truth, accountability and democracy?

I do not want to agitate my heart some more, so i will stop ranting now.

I will just pleasantly go on with my day. I want to be blissfully ignorant and apathetic to the causes, struggles and advocacies of the marginalized Filipino people. This is what 30-something people today are good at, anyway.

This is certainly not my unang political hirit. But I certainly hope this is the last.


05:50 am
25 Feb 2008
Fairview, QC

We are the ones...

happy valentine's day everyone!

may today be like any ordinary day for you -- hopeful, blissful and love-filled.

here's a poem sent by a friend (salamat sa iyo, i'm sending this back to you). a deviation from the usual mushy stuff... but more relevant and grounded.

pat yourself on the back... smile at the mirror... stay happy... love yourself! remember, we are the ones we've been waiting for :)

----------------------------------------------------


*Message of the Hopi Elders of Arizona....


" We have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour.
And there are things to be considered.
Where are you living? What are you doing?
What are your relationships? Are you in the right relation?
Where is your water? Know your garden.

It is time to speak your truth
Create your community. Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.
This could be a good time!
There is a river flowing now very fast
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold onto the shore.
They will feel they are being torn apart and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, and push off and into the river,
Keep our eyes open, and our head above the water.
See who is in there with you and Celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all ourselves.
For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over, Gather yourselves!
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.
All that you do now must be done in a sacred manner
And in celebration.

We are the ones we've been waiting for..."

From the Inside, Looking Out

I am back in my hometown. I am now in the same house that I grew up in. I am at this moment, looking out from the inside, from the same window of the house.

My earliest memory of this spot is when I was around 5 years old. It was a rainy day, and both my parents were out working. Thus, I was left with my yaya. I was looking out the window, and I distinctly remember three things – rain steadily pouring onto the roses and daisies in our garden, the song which goes “Standing by my window, listening for your call”, and the deep sadness that I felt.

Up to now, I never knew why I felt that sadness at such a young age. But every time I hear that song… standing by my window… listening for your call… that same feeling of sadness overcomes me, like a familiar blanket.

Today, I saw three familiar people pass by.

An old man with white hair passed by. I distinctly remember him because I used to hear my mom and tita talk about him every time he passes by. They say he never got married because he was drug dependent. I don’t know if he ever got married, nor if he was really on drugs. He looked old for his age. Was it the effect of the drugs? Was it because he didn’t have the motivation to live because he never felt loved?

A plump woman in her late 30’s also passed by. She has her 5 year old daughter in tow. She is my neighbor and my playmate’s older sister. She had an operation when she was in elementary. The doctor had to take out one of her ovaries. I think it’s a miracle that she was able to bear 2 children.

My 21 year old cousin also passed by. He’s in college now, and looking very different from the image I saw 20 years ago. As a baby, he was carried then by his yaya. But now, he’s all grown up to carry his own baby.

Time indeed changes everything and everyone. For some, time becomes their friend, but for some, their worst nemesis.

I hope that after 20 years, I can still sit by this same window, listen to the tapping of the falling rain, see familiar faces pass by, hear that same song in the radio, and feel that familiar but comforting feeling of sadness.


09:35 am
07 Feb 2008
Santiago City

Bahay na Pula

Since I was small, traveling from the province to manila, we've always passed by this "haunted house" in San Ildefonso, Bulacan. Little did i know that this haunted house is also called Bahay na Pula (Red House) because of the color of the stones used and also the roof.

I did some internet research about the house, and found that this house is actually haunted... not by ghosts, but by the gruesome crimes committed against young women during the world war.

The japanese soldiers used this house to violate the countless young women who are now known as comfort women.

I will never look at this house the same way again. it is indeed haunted... haunted by the scariest element there is... violations to human rights, self worth and respect.

06 Feb 2008
Santiago City

Lightbulb Moments

Have you had that moment… when everything seems so clear, when all your questions are answered, when all grey areas become either black or white, when you suddenly see a flicker of light in pitch black darkness? I call that a lightbulb moment.

How many times in the past have I had these moments, when I think of something very interesting, funny, or witty, as possible topics for my next blog entry. The weirdest thing is, I get these ideas in the most unlikely times and places – when I’m driving, when I’m taking a bath, when I’m trying to get a good night’s sleep, during the wee hours of the morning, when I’m doing something else.

It makes me want to get a pen and paper, or to turn on my laptop and write… write… and write, until my thirst for putting my thoughts into paper is quenched.

I also noticed that my best ideas (well, at least for me) are those that came from these lightbulb moments. My first blog entry, “Boylet”, was from a lightbulb moment – while I was in a toxic state in my previous organization, rushing a dozen of things for simultaneous deadlines.

“My Precious Stones” was written while my stomach was growling (before dinner), on Valentines Day hehehe.

“Van Gogh Wanna Be” was written in front of the tv in Penang, in between watching the local Malaysian channels and making chika with my housemates.

“Bagay sa iyo, Foreigner” was written while I was stuck and spooked in an old creepy (and haunted, I think) apartment in Sorsogon.

“Will Lightning Strike” was written while my cousins and I were on our way to Manila from Isabela.

Writing “Incoherence” was the first thing I did that one very cold morning.

I am hoping that I can still have more lightbulb moments, so I can still write, even without my muse.

P.S.
By the way, while I am writing this article, I am on Yahoo Chat with the dyosas, and also on the phone with my friend, Sienna.



03:15 pm
01 Feb
Santiago City

Dislocated

How many times in the past have you heard someone that they are “broken hearted”. Their hearts were broken into tiny bits by someone or something which happened in their lives.

Having one’s heart broken equates to a lot of sleepless nights, buckets of tears, marathon phone-calls-cum-therapy-session with friends, and bottles of San Mig Light, or nights spend with good ol’ pareng Carlo Rossi.

But what exactly does a “broken” heart mean? Broken means having one’s heart cut into irregular pieces, usually with the edges left rough and uneven. You cannot have something “broken” into smooth and even pieces. Breaking something equates to mess, chaos and confusion.

Having said that, I think I’ve only broken my heart twice – one with Guy # 1 (Spaghetti) and Guy # 3 (Liquid Seasoning). Confused? See my previous entry for explanations.

After Guy 3, I think that my heart decided to be unbreakable. This guy broke my heart into the smallest possible bits, leaving the most uneven and jagged pieces. It was so rough and jagged that I thought I would not be able to put back the pieces together. I did eventually, but not without tears, sleepless nights, and lots and lots of drinking sessions with friends. I wanted to drown myself in anything which could give me a temporary high.

After that horrible, horrible experience, I felt that my heart turn into something stronger, tougher almost unbreakable.

I still do feel pain and disappointment. But I would certainly not say that my heart is broken. I would say that after those dark ages, my heart became “dislocated” a few more times. I feel pain, but I know my heart’s still there somewhere, complete and unbroken. But it feels odd, because it doesn’t feel right. Somehow, my heart is not at the right place. I feel squirmish and uneasy because my things are not in order… unsettled.

Having one’s heart dislocated is far better than having it broken. If you had your heart dislocated, you know that in time, it’ll pop back into place, as good as new – nothing missing, nothing damaged.

Yes, at the moment, my heart is somewhere where it should not be. It is somewhere in the middle of nowhere, looking for something which can propel it back to where it should be… waiting for that energy to push away this lethargy. So here I am, sitting… waiting… wishing for my heart, and for my whole life, to “pop back” into place.

12:20 pm
24 Jan
Quezon City
(home sweet home)

Foodie

I loooove eating! I love food! I am what some would call a “foodie”. It gives me great joy to have a scrumptious meal. I find it comforting to eat something which satisfies my tastebuds.

Since I’m into looking back at my very colorful past, I will attempt to associate all guys that I’ve dated to food that first comes to mind.

Guy # 1 : Spaghetti
This guy is so versatile, like spaghetti. You can throw him anywhere, and people will love him. He sings, plays the guitar, plays the piano, artistic, witty, sweet, and smart. Like my love for spaghetti, I don’t get tired of this guy. I can be with him for days and not get bored.

Guy # 2 : Steak
This guy doesn’t fit the profile of someone whom I will go out with. He’s too high maintenance for my taste. I can have steak once in a while, but not all the time.

Guy # 3: Liquid Seasoning (brand: Knorr or Maggi)
This guy is what you would call the life of the party. He is adored by everyone – colleagues, friends and family. He makes all dishes more alive and brings out the best flavors. He is addictive, you can’t help but to have more of him. However, like the liquid seasoning, too much on your food is bad for your health.

Guy # 4 : Pork Asado (Braised Pork with Sweet-Salty Sauce)
This guy is surprisingly sweet, like asado sauce. Looking at him, he looks tough and strong. But deep inside, he’s as sweet as braised pork in asado sauce. But like steak, I can’t have asado on a regular basis.

Guy # 5 : Arroz Caldo (Rice Porridge)
This guy gets me, and I totally get him. We finish each others’ sentences, we like the same things, we are always on the same page. Like arroz caldo, I feel that I know him inside and out. No matter how many kinds of food I’ve tasted, arroz caldo will be the best comfort food for me.

Guy # 6 : Fried Rice
He is yesterday’s best, but is still considered as one of breakfast favorites. But not mine. I can live without fried rice. Not that it doesn’t taste good. Like the cliché goes… it’s not him… it’s me.

Guy # 7 : Boiled Egg
This guy is boring… well at least for me. Like boiled egg, I can live without it. In fact, I will only have boiled egg if there’s no other food around.

Guy # 8 : Chocolate cake
This guy is sooo sweet that I can have him for dessert. He’s actually too sweet like chocolate… it doesn’t leave a bad taste in the mouth. Even the most bitter chocolate is so deliciously sweet.

Guy # 9 : Sashimi
This guy is what you would consider as raw and rough. Having no other spices, the sashimi, although uncooked is one of the most enjoyable and filling food around. What you see is what you get… no frills at all. But he is too raw that I can’t stand to be with him all the time.

Guy # 10 : Kiamoy (Dried Salted Prunes)
I don’t get this guy. Sometimes, he’s sweet. At times, he’s detached. Actually, I am not a fan of kiamoy – the taste is too complicated for me.


Hmmm… Writing about men and food makes me hungry. Got to go… need to raid the fridge.


10:35pm
08 Jan
Santiago City

All New

2007 was a good year. may 2008 be better for all of you.

may your heart be warmer w/ love,
your body be blessed with health,
your spirit be filled with peace,
your lips be full of genuine smile and laughter,
your life be full of contentment.

here's a toast to a better life, good health, prosperous endevours, and lasting love... you deserve it.

happy new year, everyone!


09:25am
01 Jan 2007 (Tuesday)
Santiago City