Sunday, February 19, 2006

Sino ang bampira?

People kept asking me, “Bakit ‘bampira-ako’ ang blogspot mo?”. On hindsight, I should have written this article as my debut blog entry.

I’ve been using bampira since I became hooked on mIRC back in 1997. The chat rooms during that time were pretty much matino, with sense. Maybe because not everyone has internet access during that time. Now, even manong guard has access to the internet, and may be your cyber-boyfriend/pal/soulmate. Who knows?

Anyways, back to bampira. I used bampira as my nick. I wanted a name with a character. A strong character, able to transform not just oneself, but is able to transform other people as well (well, after the third bite, that is). I also wanted a character which has power, mystery and a certain darkness to its persona. Thus, the nickname, Bampira.

I hope you continue to read my blog entries so you can be one of my victims, transforming you into someone you have never imagined. And as a true vampire would say, “Drink from me and you will live forever.”

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

MY PRECIOUS STONES – The gallstone experience

So there they were, inside a small translucent plastic container, staring at me, perhaps with a feeling of anxiety due to our sudden separation. I’ve nursed them for more than 4 years now, carefully choosing what I eat, how much I drink. Then suddenly, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of both sadness and ecstasy. Finally, they were liberated, now out in the world for everyone to see. Most people just can’t appreciate things unless they see it, you see. Now, everyone can see them, and they will be the testament of my personal struggle for the past years.

I’m not talking about babies or whatever, I’m talking about my gallstones, my precious stones. I was diagnosed by my Internist some years ago. Due to the prodding of a doctor friend, who I incidentally lost contact with already, I visited my internist. The doctor-friend told me, the symptoms I was experiencing (colic-like pains, feeling of nausea, stabbing pains in my upper abdomen) were signs of gallstones. What the heck, just to prove him that he was wrong, and that internal medicine was not his forte (we were already falling apart during those times), I went to an internist, underwent ultrasound, and viola!... there they were! 2 small stones in my gallbladder. My twins!

Come to think of it, I never got to thank the doctor-friend. Well, life was not a bed of roses with him, so I guess I just deserved this bit of information about my gallstones, free consultation if you may say. They say that people come into your life for a reason, maybe this is his – to tell me that I have gallstones. That suits me well, he has at least saved me from future medical incidents, like this condition where the gallstones get stuck in the opening of your gallbladder, and gets really really swollen and infected, making you puke like hell, and makes your eyes and skin turn yellow. I cant remember the medical term, I’m not very good at that.

Anyways, back to my babies. So for more than 4 years, I have convinced myself that my precious stones need not be extracted out, after all, I am a mature and responsible individual, I can control what I eat and drink, cant I? Well, it turned out I was partly successful – I tried to stay away from oily food (bye bye sisig, liempo, chicharon and bulalo). But what I cant give up is the fermented malt, which is found in San Miguel’s primary product, sigh.

So years after years, I tried going to different Internists (doctors specializing on Internal Medicine), hoping to find a single doctor who will give me a quick fix. Something like an elixir I could drink, and the precious stones would miraculously disappear, or at least passed through some bodily excretions. But to no avail! They were all involved in this conspiracy, telling me that I should have it removed surgically, especially that my attacks were getting more frequent – average of 2 attacks per month. And I cant tell you how it feels to have an attack. Its like giving birth (I think), only much worse (this theory I have to prove yet. I’ll get back to you after I experience giving birth hehehe). Because in giving birth, you know that you will be bringing to life someone. During a gallstone attack, all I can see are my precious stones dancing away and doing body slam with each other, soaking in the green bile they love so much. Yuck!

But surgery? No way! I have not been confined in a hospital, not once in my life. And this one experience, I can easily pass up, no thanks!

But then, I think the natural course of things is that when things have to go, they really have to go. I have this project outside the Philippines, which will necessitate me to be away for 6 long months. And this country that I’m going to, man, they have REALLY good food, and they love to see their food swimming either in oil, chili or curry. So, instead of experiencing my gallstones freak out in a really wild party, I decided to go for the surgery.

I went to FEU, it was the nearest to my house. Found a decent-looking doctor. Found that he was a PGH graduate. I heaved a sigh of relief after seeing that. Not that I’m too loyal and impressed with UP grads, its just that I know how UP grads think of themselves – they think of themselves as the best in their field (this might be purely perception, may I remind you). This surgeon might be someone who will never allow failure in whatever he does.

But I was not satisfied with the diploma I saw hanging in his clinic, I surfed information about him. I did not get much except that he really is a PGH graduate, a member of this medical fraternity in UP Manila, and had his braces late in life (hahaha! I saw this info in one of his batchmates’ blogspot. Tsk tsk, the information you can surf in the web).

Being the hypochondriac that I am, I also surfed about the procedure that I will be undergoing – Laparoscopic Cholecystectomy or lap chole. As opposed to the open chole, where they will slice you up, this procedure is less invasive. The surgeons will just make 4 small slits, which is fine with me. Since I am a keloid former, I do not want to have 4 blackened thick scars on my stomach! Accuse me of vanity, but I’m sure you’ll make the same choice given my situation. And so I discussed this with my surgeon, asking him about keloids and injury to the common bile duct. I felt powerful with the new information that I have.

So in February 10, I went to the hospital, had several tests, and was finally ready for operation the following day. I can still vividly picture it in my mind… at 1:30pm, the nurse and the orderly went to my room and asked me to lie down in the bed with wheels. The nurse injected (very painfully) a sedative, hoping to calm my nerves. Oh, I became calm alright, the fuzzy feeling was soooo perfect, like how you will feel after downing 4 or 5 bottles of beer.

I got into the OR, where Phil Collins was blazing from the speakers. Fine with me, I even sang a few lines. Then I noticed this really cute doctor, was not sure if he was already a surgeon, he looked too young to be one. Maybe a Resident Doctor of Surgery, I decided. Maybe he noticed that I was not getting sleepy at all. He asked me a few friendly questions, and finally asked me if I’m not sleepy, and that it’s all right if I rest and sleep. I did not bother to inform him that I’m used to keeping my eyes wide open even after several bottles of beer. I looked at the wall clock, I saw that it was already 3pm! It has been 1 ½ hours after I had the sedative, and I’m still awake!

Finally, after a few minutes, they might have decided to give up on the hopes that the sedatives would wear me down (hah! I succeeded in staying awake, thanks to San Mig Light!), they injected through my IV this liquid, which I guessed was the anesthesia. They also covered my mouth with the oxygen mask. The chemical odor from the mask was not pleasant. Cant remember how it smells like, but I know I’ve handled it in my Chem 16 class. Or maybe it was Ether from Bio 11? No, that was for frogs.

After more than 2 hours of operation, and 3 hours in the recovery room, I was wheeled into my room around 9pm. I distinctly remember the nurse telling my mom that I can eat anything, no more fasting. I am allowed to have full meals! HAHAHA! Liberation! Freedom! Kalayaan! I will finally be reunited with the evils of the food kingdom – fats and oil.

I woke up midnight, with a very uncomfortable feeling – a strange pressure in my stomach, hurting wounds, and bruised internal organs (I think). But when I looked over my side table, I found the plastic container with my precious stones. There were not 2 stones, there were around 20 stones! I have cared for them too much, that they multiplied tenfolds! And maybe like what mothers feel after giving birth, I knew the pain that I feel was well worth it. My precious stones’ liberation is freedom for me as well. Goodbye low fat meals, hello porky pig!

6:43pm
14 February 2006

Sunday, February 05, 2006

boylet

this i wrote years ago (3rd quarter, 2003) ... just had this urge to write it... i was actually surprised when i saw the article circulated through email, although some parts were edited.


BOYLET

(para kay unkid)


Vocabulary:
boy - n. a male child from birth to puberty
-let - n suffix small one


"Ano ba ibig sabihin ng boylet?"

Tanong yan sa akin ng isang boylet. Pero ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin ng 'boylet'? Ewan ko ba, pero napulot ko yan sa mga baklakekok kong kaibigan. "Ate, yummy ang boylet mo." "Bakla, saan ba may boylet dito?" Pero kung talagang pag-iisipan, mahirap ma-define ang boylet. Ito ba'y dahil sa age? Sa maturity? Sa height? Sa looks?

Ang boylet, kailangang bata, or at least, ka-age mo. Kasi pag mas matanda ng ilang taon, hindi na boylet yon, tander-cat na. As in tanders. Tanders from matanda -- matanders -- tanders -- tander-cat (origin – thundercat). Grabe ang evolution ng mga salita, di ba?

Dapat din daw, ang boylet, hindi mo boyfriend, pero hindi lang din friend. So, ibig sabihin, napakalalim ng kahulugan ng "-let" sa suffix sa boylet. Biro mo, ang "-let" ang nag-define ng isang relasyon na mas malalim, at malamang mas intimate sa friendship, pero less committed at non-exclusive kung ikukumpara sa boyfriend. Tsk, tatlong letra lang yan, pero it makes a world of difference. Kaya ang isang boy, para maging boylet, kailangang maging isang tao, na kayang tumawid sa pagitan ng pagiging isang boyfriend o lover, at isang kaibigan.

So pwede din ba gamitin ang "-let" sa mga tander-cats? Hmmm… parang masagwa -- tander-lets? Tander-cat-lets? Kasi naman pag tander-cats, mas malamang na naghahanap ng isang relasyon na hindi passing fancy lang. Pero hindi yan generalization, okay? Madami pa din namang mga tander-cats na isip-boylet. So, anong tawag natin sa kanila? Closet-boylets? Ay, ambot!

Ano pa ang distinguishing factor ng isang boylet? Sabi ng isang kaibigan na nagkaroon na ng relasyon mula sa both ends of the continuum -- from the youngest of boylets to super tander-cats, ang boylet, fling lang daw. Kapag naging seryoso ang relasyon o "arrangement" sa isang boylet, pwede nang tanggalin ang suffix na "-let" at palitan ng salitang "friend". But it is not necessarily true na promotion sa boylet ang pagiging boyfriend. Isipin mo yon, pag may boyfriend ka na, bawal na ang mga boylets. Eh kung puro boylets lang, walang hassles, walang guilt involved, kasi nga, ang "-let" ang sasalba sa iyo. Ang "-let" ang nagsasabi na hindi naman kayo exclusive sa isa't-isa. Ang galing talaga ng "-let"! Pwede din kaya itong gamitin sa ibang salita? Halimbawa, kung itatanong sa iyo ng jowa mo, "Do you love me?" Ang problema, hindi ka sigurado kung anong isasagot. Isipin mo, pag sinabi mong 'yes', sangkatutak na exclusivity na yan. Pag naman 'no', aba, eh, baka mag-isip ang jowa mo at iwan ka. So, pwede bang "yes-let" ang isagot? Ang "-let" na lang uli ang bahala to fill in the gaps. Ibig sabihin pag 'yes-let', oo, love kita ngayon, pero may possibility na bawiin ko in the future. O kaya naman, oo, love naman kita, pero pwede pa ba akong humirit ng one last boylet?

Boylet… boy na maliit o cute? Di ba’t ang ibig sabihin ng suffix na “-let” at cute o naman kaya’y maliit? Parang islet, maliit na island; booklet, maigsi o manipis na compilation ng materials. Hindi naman kasi magandang pakinggan kung tatawagin silang mini-boys. Mas maganda at endearing nga ang tunog ng boylet, parang honeylet.

Pero pano naman pala ang tawag sa girl version ng mga boylet? Girlet? Parang hindi akma. Mas maganda siguro kung girlash. Pero hindi nito ganap na mailalarawan kung ano ang essence ng pagiging quasi-gf, semi-friend. So, in short, sa mga boys lang pwedeng magkaroon ng suffix na “-let”, ganon ba yon? Baka naman kasi ibang suffix ang angkop sa mga girls.

Kung ikaw ang mamimili, ano ang mas gusto mo, isang boylet na nagpapaka-tanders, o isang tander-cat na nagpapaka-boylet? Magulong isipin, pero ang isang boylet na nagpapaka-tandercat ay yung tipong pa-mature effect. Ang dami kunwaring angst sa buhay, pinapalaki ang pinakamaliit na issue – para nga naman makasabay sya sa lahat ng angst ng nakakatandang babae. Insecurity siguro ng mga boylet, o maaari rin namang mature na talaga, pero hindi natin malalaman, unless, gusto mong makilala ng masinsinan ang boylet mo. Ang mga tandercats naman na nagpapaka-boylet ay yung mga feeling groovy at w-a-a-a-y-y C-O-O-L, na kadalasan ay hindi naman talaga, nagpupumilit lang. Maaari din naman na sila yung mga tandercats na may mental age ng isang 15-yr old. Ito ang isang proof na may mga taong walang pinagkatandaan, at ang emotional at mental age ng tao ay ibang-iba sa biological age.

Ang isa pang tanong, gaano ka-boylet ang kaya mo, kung baga sa low-waist pants, how low can you go? Basta siguraduhin na above 18 ang boylet, kundi, sa kalaboso ang bagsak mo, statutory rape yon, kung di mo alam. 3 years? 4, 5, 6? Depende naman talaga sa iyo yan. Pero isipin mo lang na kung 9 years ang gap nyo, aba ineng, nung pinanganak sya ay may monthly period ka na! Hindi ba kapangi-pangilabot yon? Pero kung kaya mo, o ‘carry’ mo, ika nga ng aking mga bading na kaibigan, eh di sige, magpakadalubhasa sa pangangarir ng mga boylet. I-career! At bakit hindi? Ilan pa lamang ang may MA at PhD degree sa Boylet Affairs Management.

Pero bakit nga ba natin kailangan ng mga boylet? Sabi ng isang kaibigan, gusto nyang ma-re-affirm na sya ay may asim pa. Suggestion ko lang, pwede naman litmus test na lang for acidity ang gamitin, di ba? Yung iba naman, pantawid-gutom daw. Ano ang akala nila sa mga boylet, mini-cup na pansit canton? Yung iba naman, just so they’ll feel alive again daw, to feel young, fresh and to get their groove back. Aside from botox treatment, napakadami pang mga services ni Dra. Vicky ang pwede para magmukha at maging feeling young.

Pasalamat tayo at nandyan sila – para magbigay ng kasiyahan, company, aliw, o kung ano pa man. Sa dami ng mga benefits na dinadala ng mga boylets na ito sa ating buhay, gusto ko lang magbigay ng pugay sa kanila. Mabuhay ang mga boylet, dakila kayo! Go forth and multiply!




little_shepherd2003@yahoo.com

Saturday, February 04, 2006

tattoo


i've always wanted to get a tattoo, but somehow, something always goes wrong, and i end up not having one.

so here, out of obsession for tattoos, here's my henna version. its a chinese character which means Summer. no, its not because i got it during the summer season (although i had this character tattooed on me in galera 2 summers ago). it's my favorite pamangkin's name (as if i have a choice, i only have 1 pamangkin so far).

sya, will post other blogs soon. keep checking this site, ok?

later! :)