Happy being miserable

Last night, I watched Grey’s Anatomy. It was their Thanksgiving episode. The lead star, Meredith, talks about being miserable, and not wanting to infect people with her misery. She thus decided to skip the Thanksgiving Dinner that a fellow-medical intern prepared.

Personally, I think that we sometimes need to be miserable and detached from people. It gives a certain emotional breathing ground, where one can be completely and utterly miserable and lonely, thereby making space for raw and pent-up emotions to surface and be recognized.

Lately, I’ve been in this kind of mood. I discovered that I am actually happy being miserable. Being ecstatic about something is scary for me. What happens after the ecstasy? As they say, the higher you fly, the more painful the fall. Why would one want to experience major highs, just to be followed by manic lows? I’d rather be safe in my monotonous and boring life than to be once again shaken by some unwelcome emotion.

Cupids, roses, chocolates, rainbows… that’s not the shape of my heart… for the moment.



2:26 pm
15 November 2006
Wednesday
Penang

Angels working over time

My friend Mai talks all the time about her angels working overtime for her. I never took notice if my angel punched in a few extra hours for my benefit. I guess I’ve always taken my angel for granted.

When I was young, the image of an angel in my head is a very tall man, with a shoulder length hair, with bangs, wearing a white robe with a colored belt around the waist. And of course, with very large and immaculately white wings. I never envisioned my angel to be a human being.

This trip proved me wrong. We went on a trip, all 6 of us. Crazy with work, and stressed with life, we took long leaves and swiped our credit cards with eyes shut, just to purchase Airasia tickets and the cheapest hotel accommodations.

The angel in Andaman

The first angel that we encountered is named Michael. Since we decided to go backpacking in Langkawi, we had to look for the cheapest everything – hotel, food, transpo, gimmick. A friend told us to never miss the sunset at the Andaman Sea. And the best place to experience this is at The Andaman. The Andaman is one of the most expensive hotel and resort in Langkawi. But this did not stop us from driving for almost an hour and pretending to be rich Filipinos in ragged and dirty backpackers’ attire.

Upon seeing the place, we instantly knew that we could not order anything. And upon looking at the menu, our fates were sealed, we can only order coffee, which costs Rm11 (which is roughly P165).

We were ordering the most inexpensive coffee we could afford, when the angel spoke, “Pinoy kayo?”. What do you know?! There’s a pinoy in The Andaman! He’s name’s Michael. We soon learned that he was one of the pioneer staff of The Andaman. And that a lot of Filipinos are working there. We also learned that The Andaman is part of the Aman Group of Resorts, which Amanpulo in Palawan is also part of.



After the amazing sunset, good coffee, great conversation and lotsa freebies (peanuts, otak-otak) from Michael, we decided to settle the bill and head for a cheap resto. We then found out that he paid for our bill! Not only that, he invited us again for a night of booze and BBQ!

We said our goodbyes after exchanging namecards and phone numbers. And we headed for the backpackers strip in Pantai Cenang, glad that we enjoyed the Andaman sunset and met a new friend.

Puon, the street angel



We were chilling out in one of the bars in the town of Siem Rep (beer’s only a dollar!), when I saw this little boy, pushing a big cart full of pirated books or book-a-likes (really good imitations of Lonely Planet and other interesting reads). We wanted to buy Lonely Planet featuring Laos, so we squinted our eyes to look for a copy. Then I noticed a hand-written note pasted on the boy’s cart. It says “My name is Puon. I am 10 years old. I have 3 sisters. I am selling books so that we can go to school. Can you please buy a book, to help us have a better life.” The handwritten note really touched my heart. I’ve seen other carts with notes imploring the tourists to buy books. But there is something very personal in the handwritten note of this boy. Call me gullible, but I felt that it might be true, that this boy is doing all he can for his sisters.

We bought a book from Puon. And it was a very pleasant surprise when he came back and handed me a small piece of green paper. There, he wrote a short note: “This is free, ok J Thank you very much *heart* Puon”. He even drew a pretty little flower. This sweet gesture made my heart melt. This little street angel Puon will go a long way. He knows the value of gratitude.

Angel of the market

She was all smiles when she learned that we were Filipinos. She told us that she watched “Pangako Sa Iyo” and other Filipino movies. Her name is Pi Dao. She sells Cambodian kramat and scarves.

Especially for us Filipinos, no trip would be complete without a visit to the local market to buy local wares and haggle for the price. Pi Dao, this sweet angel of the market was very friendly to us. She was patient enough to tolerate, and even indulge some of our paluging-tawad and pagkukuripot.

After buying several scarves from her stall, I told her “Pi Dao, I’ve no more money!”. Her response came as a surprise. She was inviting me to have lunch at her house. She told me that if I don’t have money for food, I can eat at her house. How hospitable! I would have wanted to eat in a Cambodian house, and share the meal with a Cambodian family, but I graciously declined her offer. There were 6 of us, and it would be an inconvenience for her to feed 6 hungry backpackers. So we just had our pictures taken with her, with a vow to come back to her stall if ever we visit Angkor Wat again.

We met other angels along the way – the Burmese hotel manager in Siem Rep, Viseth: the excellent tour guide, Ti Ye: the ever reliable van and tuktuk driver, the pretty girl in Bantay Srei, Moot, the chocolate-loving boy in Bantay Samre, the Vietnamese boat-girl with palanggana as her boat in Ton Le Sap Lake, and many more nameless faces who have worked overtime to share their humble gestures, kind words and sweet smiles.

I would say that this trip was an eye-opener for me, that there are still angels among us. And after hours of walking under the sun and climbing the steep temple steps, I would say that life is great. Because of people like them, one would feel at home even at the other side of the world.


08 November 2006
Wednesday
11:17pm
Penang