Wishes

Our lolas used to tell us "be careful what you wish for." When I was younger, I thought this advice sounded pretty stupid. Why should I be careful of something that I wished would happen? Isn't that the whole point of wishing? For it to happen?

Little did I know that she meant something else. Pero naman naman... bakit naman kasi? She should have just told me -- "if you wish for something, make it specific. In fact, make it very, very specific."

Case # 1:

When I was about 8 years old, my parents forced me to take piano lessons. We didn't have a piano or an electric organ, and I badly wanted to have one.

I remember praying to Jesus every night: "Dear Jesus, sana po, magkaroon ako ng sariling electric organ. Please po, Jesus. Promise that I will be a good girl".

And what do you know? I got my wish alright... after more than a decade.

Lesson: When you make a wish, include a timeline.


Case # 2:

When I was in highschool, I had a crush on a classmate. I will not even give the slightest clue as to the identity of this guy. I am certain that people (including this narcissistic guy) would tease me mercilessly and perpetually about it. So I won’t tell.

I remember praying to Jesus: "Jesus, I wish na maging close kami ni *guy*. Please po. Good girl naman po ako eh".

And tadah!... we became close and chummy... but after half a decade. It would not have been too late, since we were still in our late teens then, but I knew this guy too well by this time, that I never had a single iota of interest in him anymore. I like him as a friend yes, but I can never imagine kissing him. Yuck!

Lesson: When you make a wish, include a timeline, and a caveat, like: "Jesus, I wish maging close kami ni *guy*. But if we become close, make sure that I don't get turned off with him."


Case #3:

Almost every girl dreams of having a meaningful and serious conversation with a guy she's physically attracted to.

I remember wishing: "God, I hope to find someone I whom can talk to all night. Someone I am attracted to. I know I've made mistakes in the past, but I'll try to do better. Thank you!"

And like everyone says, God is a giving God. On a clear night, this cute guy spent the whole night at my place. We listened to music and talked about things that mattered -- to him, to me. We talked about the future... and as the moon set, it became clearer that this future does not include the picture of him and me together. We talked about his future, since he's getting hitched soon.

Lesson: When you make a wish, include a timeline, and a caveat, and make it specific, like: "God, I hope to find someone that I can talk to all night. Someone I am attracted to. Someone whom I can spend the future with."


Case # 4:

I can say that having experienced the 3 previous cases, I've learned my lesson pretty well. Therefore, I started to ask for something specific and realistic.

I said: "God, please help me find a decent guy. Someone charming, funny and witty. Someone who can commit and is faithful. Someone who has passion and principles. Someone who loves me and wants to spend days and nights with me. I know that I am not perfect, but I am not asking for the perfect guy. But give me someone perfect for me".

I am really proud of this prayer -- very realistic, specific, humble and grounded.

And I guess the Lord sensed my sincerity and maturity. I met a guy who is charming, funny, witty, smart, committed, faithful, talented, passionate, principled, and helpful. Someone who loves me and wants to spend time with me. He may not be perfect, but he is the perfect embodiment of the guy I asked for. He is, as some might say, the "answer to my prayers".

But there is one catch... he is gay.

He loves me though, and I love him more. He even told me... "Ate, kung bading ka lang, sana naging tayo na."

Lesson: When you make a wish, include a timeline, and a caveat, and make it specific... very, very specific.

Darn! I should have mentioned “heterosexual” in my prayer.


10:25 pm
07 July 2008
Fairview

Checking in

I haven’t written for quite a while. Basically because I don’t know what to write about. There are so many things happening… too many thoughts in my head… to many emotions unsettled.

I need more time to process things.

I need more space to sort things out.
I need more energy for spring cleaning.

If this entry is very tentative, it’s because I’m just checking in.



04:56pm
05 July 2008
Fairview