Should I cry when you die?

*another free-writing exercise. i'm still deciding if this is a poem, or a simple blog entry. heniweys...*


Should I cry when you die?

Should I cry
When you die?

Should I shed tears...
Real tears?

When all we had was fleeting...
Temporal and almost imaginary

Like a dream
That I desperately want to recall
As soon as I open my eyes

I think I felt your lips touch mine
But somehow I cannot trust my memory

Did I just want it bad enough
To actually happen

That the crevices in my brain
Decided to store this picture
As part of my reality

When does reality end...
And when does imagination begin?

So when you die
Should I grieve like we had a connection?

Or should I just feign indifference
And forget how in my memory
I felt the warmth of your breath
Against my face

Should I grieve for that fleeting moment
When I felt your heartbeat against my chest

When during that particular moment in time...
I felt that there is an 'us'

Maybe it was all in my head
So if grieve I must
It must be like that kiss
Fleeting, temporal, almost imaginary

Is it just Fata morgana?
They say that when you look into the horizon long enough
You will see images

But is this just that?
Fata Morgana
To drown me
And lure me to my own death?

Reality is relative they say.
Maybe in the future
Reality would prove me wrong

Much like the fact
That Pluto is not a planet
Or that there are 4 states of matter
Or that the earth is round

Maybe someday
Time would finally prove
That there was an 'us'

Yes
I think I will cry
When you die

I will shed real tears
For that version of reality
Which I remembered

It's my reality
My tears
So I will cry
When you die


16 June 2011
1:15am
Thursday
Gotham