new toy

i found a new toy! try to link your flickr account to http://www.dumpr.net. really fun! here's a sample:



here's another one:



you can visit my flickr website at:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/norlygrace/

at least, my photo is now in a virtual museum. now, it's your turn...

Arrested development

My college org-mate was lamenting in her blogsite that she, along with the other medical residents have had their emotional development arrested. Being locked up in a hospital for 48 hours straight will certainly kill your social life. No wonder the medical interns and residents in Grey’s Anatomy had acquired the ‘melrose place’ syndrome – sleeping with the people who are in close proximity.

I feel the same way here in Penang – my emotional growth and development got arrested. If you notice, my last blog entries were about TV series – Men in Trees and Grey’s Anatomy. How pathetic is that!

Since I don’t get to see much people here – save for my roommates, my officemates and our trusted taxi driver, Mr. Hanifa – I feel that I have confined myself too much. And now, I could not write about any interesting stuff. Writing about TV series, how low can I go?

Penang is my hospital, my 48 hour shift, my medical intership. Gotta get out soon, before I have permanent damage to my development.



25 March 2007
Sunday
09:26 pm
Penang (while having the flu)

Messy Things

I’ve just finished watching the whole season of Men in Trees, a TV series about Marin, a New York based relationship coach who went to Elmo, Alaska after breaking up with her philandering fiancé.

Marin is someone in everyone of us. Watching each episode, I felt my words coming out of her mouth, saying what I exactly felt (and would have wanted to say) in a few occasions.

Marin is a writer. And she went to Elmo to write her 3rd book, Men in Trees, which is of course, about men.

Her publisher (a cute commitment-phobic) told her that her first chapter was a good read. But her second chapter was not up to par. In fact, it sounded so safe, like a travelogue. He advised her to be open to her emotions and write about the ‘messy stuff’.

There’s truth to the publisher’s advice. My best pieces (well at least for me), were those that talked about the mess that I’m feeling, or that I went through.

So here I am attempting to write about my ‘messy stuff’. But after a few attempts, I realized that I’ve no more messy stuff. Or at least I’ve done my spring cleaning and put all the mess in a trash bag or in an archive box. Or maybe, I’ve compartmentalized my life such that my mess happens and stays in the Philippines. As soon as the Philippine immigration officer stamps my passport, my mess gets a stamp of denial, leaving it no other choice but to stay in the Philippines, and wait for my return.

Penang has that effect on me. I’ve always told my friends that Penang is my “bubble wrap”. You know those plastic stuff used to cover fragile equipments and ceramics, with air-filled plastic bubbles that we can’t help but pop when we were kids (ok, until now I still do that)? Those are bubble wraps. Penang wraps me and my life such that nothing and no one can bother me at the moment. Distance works for me and my mess. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. Not true, well at least not for me and my mess.

I think being away from the Philippines gave me this illusion that my mess can be kept at bay and be temporarily forgotten. Being in Penang, my life goes on slow-motion, and sometimes, totally goes “on pause”. It’s as if I’m living my life on a different plane, totally separate and detached from my messy and complicated life in the Philippines.

I not sure though if this works for me. In 2 months, I’m going back to the Philippines for good. And for sure, my mess will glare at me, straight in the face. As a good friend told me, “It will not go away. When you go back home, it will still be there.” I hope he’s wrong. I hope my “mess” has decided to abandon me.


04 March 2007
Sunday
11:46 am
Penang